Vital Signs

Death Before Dying: … A Love Experience

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I am lying on my stomach, on top of the sand, with one of my friends pushing the water out of my lungs. I’m coughing out the water, but the pain returns. This time the pain is different. This time the pain never goes away. It’s the pain of not being in the Light.

How can I explain the Light to my family and friends? They will think that I am crazy. I’ll be sent away to the room with rubber walls! No! There is no way in the world I could ever tell anyone about the Light! I truly must be crazy!

Everyone is standing around me in a big circle. They are all glad that I’m still alive. One of my friends says, “Andy, you don’t seem very happy about being dragged from the bottom of the lake, are you still in a daze, or what? How was it? Where you afraid?” I answer with a lie. I say that I can’t remember anything. I tell them that the entire episode is a complete blank. I have to lie to my friends, I have to lie to my family, and I have to lie to myself. I can’t tell anyone about the Light. They would never understand. Even I don’t understand.

After a few minutes I tell my friends that I have to go back into the water for a swim. I tell them that I don’t want to be afraid of the water for the rest of my life. So, I jump back into the cold water and swim out a little way, and then return. Everyone thinks that I am so brave. The truth is I am so sad.

Maybe it was just a dream or something like that. Maybe I am crazy. Oh well, I’ll probably forget all about it in a few days.

Oh well, I’ll probably forget all about it in a few months.

Oh well, I’ll probably forget all about it in a few years.

Oh well, I’ll probably forget all about it in a few decades.

It’s been over fifty years since my death, and I have forgotten thousands of experiences. Thousands of others have faded and dimmed with the passing of time. Many traumatic ones have been embellished or disremember. I have only one life and death experience that has remained clear and unchanged over time and this is it. The moment that I entered the Light, to become one with the Light, is a moment that has no parallel in my life! It is a true experience of inexpressible love. It is a love that can never be adequately described with words. A love that can only be experienced, the ever-loving Light … I am in the Light, I am the Light, and the Light is God.


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