These NDE accounts were submitted to our website and are published here anonymously. Minor edits have been made to protect the identity of the experiencer and others who may have been involved with the experience. Note to researchers and authors: IANDS cannot grant permission to publish quotations from these NDE accounts because we have not received permission from the NDE authors to do so. However, we advise authors who wish to use quotations from these accounts to follow the Fair Use Doctrine. See our Copyright Policy for more information. We recommend adopting this practice for quotations from our web site before you have written your book or article.
When I was 5 years old, in the mid-1950s, I had to have my tonsils and adenoids removed. I was told we were going to the hospital to take my tonsils out, but no one explained to me what that really meant.
My NDE occurred while I was hospitalized with a post-surgical staph infection that went septic. Antibiotics had not been effective to that point, and I was in considerable pain. My vital signs were erratic, and I'd experienced some hallucinations. I was conscious and able to converse with caregivers and family members.
Death is a taboo that, even today, many choose to be silent about. Growing up, I went to many funerals and saw firsthand the grief and sorrow that Death represents. The irony of being exposed to Death is central to my life. Here, I will discuss my own experiences with Death when I was a newborn as well as when I passed again in 2009.
In 2000, I was pregnant with my second child. My father, who was my rock, passed when I was 16 after a three-year cancer battle. My now husband and I had our first child our senior year of high school and married a few years later. I had just landed my first position that required my college degree that I had worked and sacrificed so much for. My husband had also just started his first job out of college. We were still in a financially tough spot, in our mid-twenties and struggling in our relationship and with past traumatic experiences. To say things were tough was an understatement.
To fully understand my story, we have to go back to my childhood in the small town of Hanko in Finland. As long as I can remember, I was criticized about my body. This started my self-depreciation and doubt that I would ever be good enough to be loved by a man, much less to be enough for anything else. I was simply the wrong shape and size to be considered for such a life. I truly believed that I wasn’t worthy of love.
Page 1 of 125