I am uncertain as to where I should begin my story. I suppose my entire life has led up to this pivotal spiritually transformative experience. I shall rewind to approximately 3.5 years ago when my life began to change.

One night in January 2018, I experienced an incredibly vivid dream of my deceased aunt whom I loved (and still love) very much. I saw her standing there very clearly: it was like high-definition television quality. She just stood there with a neutral expression on her face and did not say a word. I sprang up straight in bed, now awake and confused, wondering what had just happened. My partner was sleeping soundly and the apartment was quiet, and somehow I ended up falling asleep again.

The next day I went online and researched content in regards to encountering deceased relatives in dreams. I ended up at the conclusion that I was having some sort of spiritual awakening. Not only did I experience my aunt in that dream, but I had seen her in many before - only one of which was a vivid dream like the one I just had. It was when I was a teenager when she told me: "Don't be afraid". And the same reaction: I sprang up in bed, awakened by the clarity of the dream. I started to realize that perhaps I was "psychic" to some extent: I had sensed phrases in my mind from my late grandmother in the past. I was always shy and overwhelmed in large crowds. I was always very sensitive and empathetic. I never knew what I wanted to do with my life or what my purpose was. I had always been captivated by psychics, mediums, angels, and accounts of near-death experiences. I had stopped practicing Roman Catholicism in favour of Spirituality. And a major one: I hopped from job to job over the last decade, never finding fulfillment in my work, always feeling "blocked" at some point right before I would quit, as if I was being prevented from working at this/these company(ies) any longer. Finally, in the latter half of 2018, I quit working, as I was fortunate and grateful to have a partner who could support me financially. 

Since that time I have been active on social media spreading inspirational/positive advice, which organically turned into a mixture of personal growth and spiritual guidance. I created a YouTube channel the day after my 34th birthday, and eventually signed up to Twitter and Instagram, and most recently, TikTok. (I've had a Facebook account since 2007 but I deleted it because I wasn't resonating with it any longer.)

I came across spiritual/inspirational speakers on YouTube, such as Wayne Dyer, Esther (Abraham) Hicks, Gabby Bernstein, Michael Bernard Beckwith, Panache Desai, and the list goes on. I was captivated by their conviction of spiritual truths beyond what our physical senses can interpret.

I understood that I was on a path of awakening/ascension and that I was being asked to surrender all that I thought I knew. This process was very slow and gradual, and to be honest, very difficult. At the same time, I would experience bliss and liberation through insights from spiritual teachers, but then I began to experience my own hits of inspiration during meditation. At times I would curse God/Universe and ask, "What more do you want from me? I believe in you and love you - why can't I just experience some kind of relief or physical manifestation of all the work I've done on my inner world? Why is my outer world not reflecting my inner world and all the things I want to experience/manifest?"

On the evening of June 17th, 2021, my partner and I were watching TV in bed. We had stopped watching and he was looking at his phone when I said, "Handsome, I think I'm dead." He knew all the turmoil and transformation I was going through and he uttered a gentle and caring laugh and said, "No, sweetheart, you aren't dead." That was that, and we went to bed - but it certainly didn't change the way I felt.

During the night I had to leave the master bedroom to sleep in the guest room because I had drenched the bedsheets in sweat and my body was agitated. I felt dazed the next morning and somewhat depressed. While my partner was taking a shower before heading to work, I was so overcome with frustration that I went to the backyard and felt pushed to utter a blood curdling scream. And so I did. In my mind I felt like I was expressing, "What else do you [God/Universe] want from me?! I'm screaming my lungs out, despite common sense, as this is not a normal thing to do. I trust you! I'm screaming my trust!! I don't care if people hear!!" I let out a second scream that was louder than the first. My throat surprisingly was not affected by these insanely loud screams. And even more surprising: no neighbours had responded to the screams and my partner hadn't heard a thing.

My partner then went to work. I was a mess. "What is happening to me?!" is all I could think of. I went to lie down on the bed in the master bedroom. The light from the window was so intense to my eyes that I had to close the curtains. I didn't want to close them because I love natural light, but I really just had to. And then things took a drastic and surprising turn.

I truly felt dead. I started putting pieces together/sensing ideas that I was dead. My body had been freezing cold the past few days. My partner had painted the basement and kitchen a brilliant white and I understood it to be my entrance into heaven. I had recently bought a blue cotton robe that looked like a hospital gown and I knew that somehow in some reality I was experiencing my death and that I was in a hospital bed. The sweating at night. I turned over in bed and rubbed my back, and sensed that a nurse was making adjustments for me. I felt my heart skip a beat and was terrified, as if it was my heart's last beat. I looked at my phone and somehow I sensed that I had died on May 22, 2021, and that all the texts I've been sending since then were from beyond the grave. I sensed my funeral, and somehow knew when different people were reciting their eulogies. I was mourning the loss of my family and loved ones whom I would never get to touch, see, or speak to again. It was perplexing, other-worldly, terrifying and painful. "But I didn't even feel my death! How is this so?!" 

My partner texted me and I responded with tons of heart emojis, more than I had ever used. And then I sent him a rainbow emoji and suddenly had a flash to my funeral where I understood that the rainbow emoji was a rainbow I had cast across the sky at my funeral as a symbol to let everyone know I was okay. I sent birds to the burial site with my consciousness.

If that weren't earth-shattering and mind-bending enough, I sensed that my real identity wasn't "David" as I knew him, but that I was another man in another life (or this life? Time didn't seem to make sense or apply). I knew of the other man but I had never met him. He was a bodybuilder. He looked spectacular - the body of a Greek god with blond hair. While still in a daze, I researched about him, still in the dark of the bedroom. So much of his life resonated with me. I was convinced that I was him and that I would somehow transform into this man, even though that made no logical sense. I thought I was going to go back to 1988 and relive my life as him, and it made me so excited, yet perplexed. I had always admired bodybuilders and the work and dedication it requires to carve their bodies, and I always thought they were the epitome of male beauty. 

After a while of reading about this man, it was all getting a bit too overwhelming, so I decided to get out of bed. Not only that, but my dog had entered the room and I wanted to hug her for comfort. I got down on my knees, certain that I was dead, and stretched out my arms to her: "Come here sweetie, it's okay. Daddy is okay." She didn't come to me and I was absolutely heartbroken. I just wanted to feel her love. Instead, she ran out of the room and down the hallway. It's interesting to note that she was barking a lot more recently and I sensed that she had been seeing my "ghost."

I followed her out to the living room when I remembered something all of a sudden. I would joke that my dog always looked up the staircase at a man (ghost) with a handlebar mustache. In that instant I knew that she had been seeing my late grandfather. "Nonno!!" ("grandfather" in Italian), I yelled out, and starting bawling my eyes out. I then remembered that my partner had recently bought cheese which was called a variation of my grandmother's name. I cried out to her, too. I sensed many other deceased relatives that were somehow still here with me even though I couldn't see them.

I was so overwhelmed that I returned to the darkened bedroom, needing to lay down and try to gain some sense of "reality." It truly felt as if I was experiencing different lifetimes and moments all at once. My dog came back to the bedroom again and beckoned me to come out of the bedroom. I followed her to the dining room, where I had the urge to go outside in the backyard. Dressed only in my robe, I descended the stairs of my deck and walked to the center of the yard. I laid down in the grass, and in a totally bold, uncharacteristic, strange, and nonsensical move, I took my robe off and lay there naked, fully available for neighbours to see, as we have chain-link fencing. But I didn't care. I lay there, looking up at the sun directly above me, and it had the most brilliant halo I had ever seen. I had only seen halos on the moon up until this point. I was mesmerized. I somehow stared directly at the early afternoon sun without it hurting my eyes. The sun was glowing a pinkish colour. I heard birds and felt the breeze. I encountered an occasional voice (was it a voice from a neighbour or was I imagining things?). I basked there in utter comfort and confusion, allowing my body to drink up the warmth and light of the sun. I soon went back inside because I was getting quite warm.

When my partner returned home I told him what had happened, and naturally he was concerned for my safety and well-being. I cried. I somehow sensed the pain of Jesus and his message of love not being heard by the masses. My body was shaking involuntarily. I was stammering all my revelations to him, and he - being the amazing man he is - told me that he was there for me and that he was real and true, even though I didn't know what truth was at that moment. All dimensions seemed condensed into one moment and I didn't know what to believe, but I knew that I believed him and that he was my stability. I followed his advice by trying to take it easy because I was clearly distressed.

My memory becomes a little fuzzy at this point - perhaps more memories will come back, perhaps not. All I know is that I began to feel better. 

The next day I went to get some groceries and felt an urge to buy blond hair dye (I have brown hair which I shave very closely to my scalp). When my partner returned from work he said that he would prepare the dye for me. He applied it and when it was time to rinse it off, I found the water to be insanely freezing and screamed out loud. At that moment I sensed it was my baptism - water being poured over my head. A rebirth, a renewal of sorts. Both myself and my partner liked the new look. 

Over the next few days, inspiration seemed to hit me out of nowhere, I began writing (or channeling) poetry. I had never really written poetry before, nor had I ever had any interest in it, but now poems and insightful/pleasant information started pouring through my fingertips - especially in the middle of the night. I was, and still am, stunned by this development. In addition, I am finding it easier to meditate and "find my zen" and "come back to my centre." I also have a renewed interest in cooking and eating less meat and more vegetables. I also experience myself having so much more respect and love for animals and nature. I give my dog more kisses and I'm more lenient with the treats. I am more interested in my partner's passion for gardening. I have expressed my love to my family and my best friend - not something I would've done in the past. I have a renewed vigour for life and I somehow know that my biggest dreams are coming true. I am so deeply humbled and grateful to have been blessed with this Grace. I feel as if my life is just beginning to be what I had always wanted it to be, and I want to show appreciation for this Grace by sharing my messages with the world.

I have no interest in living beyond this moment, save for visualizing my lovely dreams coming true. Somehow I know that everything is okay. The spiritual advice I've been writing and speaking about on my social media accounts for the past 3.5 years are somehow more concrete to me, and I recognize that same zest for life in others who have experienced some kind of "awakening." I don't know where life will lead me from this moment forward, but I do know that it will be wonderful because I have totally given myself over to God, the Universe, the flow of life...to Love.