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No Words for the Presence

I was in a motorcycle accident at age 18. I have no memory of the accident or of many days following. I was in a coma for about 10 days. I had head injuries and was given a million to one chance of survival. I did not actually die and I don't think I ever stopped breathing. My experience occurred at some point in time before I regained consciousness.

I was aware of the presence of a friend of mine that had died approximately 10 months previously. He was communicating to me that there was nothing to be afraid of. I was then aware of a "presence." There isn't a way to describe it in words. The best available word is "light." The presence communicated with me, asking what I wanted, did I want to stay (in my life), or come. I can't explain where or what the non-life choice was. I wasn't afraid. I communicated that I would like to return to my life but that I would be ok with leaving too. I say "communicate" because there weren't actual words. I knew that there was going to be an answer. It seemed like there was a pause. Then there was the experience of an answer. I would return to my life. I was aware that by staying in my life, I would be caught up in all the emotions, worries, and challenges of life. That was part of being in this world. I was also aware that, in the other place these worries did not exist. I knew too, that this knowledge would fade.

After I woke from the coma, I sometimes thought I might have made the wrong decision. In the early days, when I was recovering, I thought, "If I can't handle this, I can just kill myself." I told my mother about the experience but had never heard of NDEs and did not share it with anyone else. I was astounded when I read Moody's book a few years later.

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