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Archive through May 22, 2002


View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous on Wednesday, May 22, 2002 - 09:40 pm:

It only happened two nights ago, and so I am able to recall much of the detail. To make it more understandable, I will list my experience in point form:

- I didn't hear anything by the silence seemed to be loud??? So as to give me a headache.

- I felt my heart beat, and the blood run through my veins.

- I was racing through a very bright medium with no features... it was sort of like the speed of a spacecraft in those star wars movies, except instead of stars, I saw an extremely intense white light.

- I knew that I had to wake up, or else I would crush, it was almost my conscious effort to wake up and I needed to struggle with this will.

- Deeply inside, I felt sorrow for my parents and saw glimpses of their emotions as they would, find me in the morning.

- Upon struggling to wake, I felt a shiver and my whole body contracting...the kind of effort that you experience when trying to lift too heavy of a weight, but in my case it was every part of my body and no weights to lift.

- Right after achieving almost impossible consciousness, I felt a deep sense of relief, however as drained and tired as I was from this experience, I had to stop myself from even blinking as I feared that the next time I would not be able to open my eyes.

- Feeling like I have lost the sense of reality...I really didn't know whether I was still asleep or not... I made my way downstairs to get a drink of water.

- Only then did I realize what has just happened to me.... although I know I can't compare it with any of my other experiences, I know deep down that this could have had a different outcome.

- I still felt a bit dizzy, and quite refusing to go back to my own bed...so as bizarre as this may seem, I went to my parents bed saying that I had a terrible dream and could not sleep in my own bed. I slept between my mom and dad that night, but I couldn't really call it sleeping. I just lay there enjoying their warm presence beside me.

- The one very important feature of this experience that has not left my mind, is the struggle to wake up...I can say that it was as though I was splitting into two entities...one sleeping passively, while the other fighting to wake up.

As a background, I do not drink alcohol, or smoke or practice any unsafe habits towards my health...excluding off course, my eating disorder.


View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous on Wednesday, May 22, 2002 - 09:31 pm:

I laid in the bath tub of my apt. After taking a bottle of sleeping pills, Tylenol pm and washing it down with a fifth of vodka. I got in the tub with a razor blade and began by cutting my right wrist. It was harder than I anticipated so I had to cut several times before I felt it was enough. I then switched hands and, by the time I was ready to cut my left wrist I was angry at how long this process seem to be taking. I gave a heavy handed slice and there it was.

I watched with my eyes open wide, not blinking. I watched the vertical gash of skin literally part away for each side. The blood seemed to pour out in slow motion and finally, I could lay back and close my eyes. I remember feeling very cold. That was the last thought in my head before seeing a set of what I recognized to be headlights. They seemed so far away. They got closer and brighter and stayed suspended. I clearly remember waiting to see Jesus. Suddenly the lights went into a reverse pattern. I watched as they slowly extinguished.

Two hours after I got into that bathtub I was discovered by my roommate who had gotten off of work early. I was rushed to the emergency room for sutures, a transfusion and, a 4 week stay in the phsyc. ward.

Since that experience I have a heightened awareness and keen intuitive skills that I respect and listen to, finally.

I realized laying in the E.R. holding down the charcole cocktail that I had forgotten to fill the tub with water. Had I remembered my wrists would not have been able to clot slowing the bleeding. How could you have been so stupid, I thought to myself.

7 years later I am a successful businesswoman, living in a new town, and I have a beautiful little 16 month girl. I have finally accepted that the pain of the past doesn't ever move you forward until you let God and let go. I am not a religious person, but what other explanation could there be for the road I have traveled?


View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous on Wednesday, May 22, 2002 - 09:18 pm:

Very pleasant, peaceful, knowing, loving. I wanted so badly to stay.
Communication without speaking, telepathic. I was assured by loved ones
who passed away years prior. It was wonderful.


View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous on Tuesday, May 21, 2002 - 10:40 pm:

I was traveling in India in 1972 when I became ill with a kidney disease of some kind. It was quite frightening because there was blood in my urine and I imagined all kinds of dire consequences. We were in Kashmir and there were very few English-speaking people but I somehow managed to make my concerns known and to be directed towards a physician's office. At the physician's office I was horrified by the general conditions and by the number of terribly sick people squatting on the dirt floor waiting to be seen by the doctor.

When I was taken to see the doctor I was even more disturbed. The conditions in his inner office reminded me very much of the granary on my uncle's farm when I was a kid. It was a wooden office but dirty and unpainted boards like you'd find in a barn along with cobwebs and dust and ancient porcelain medical instruments that looked like they pre-dated the twentieth century.

It soon became clear that I could not communicate with the old bearded man who was apparently the doctor, but it was equally clear that I could not have heeded any advice that he could give me.

Back home on the houseboat that I was sharing with a friend my condition deteriorated rapidly and I began to experience alternating hot flashes and terrible chills. It was in the course of this illness in which I was becoming quite frightened of dying on the other side of the world without ever seeing my family again that I suddenly found myself looking down upon my thrashing body and my friend struggling to keep my body covered with blankets.

That phase lasted only a moment and then I was transported towards what is colloquially described as a great light but which was much more than that. I felt bathed not only in light but also in this transcendent energy and very much in the presence of a very powerful "being". The next thing I recall is being wordlessly invited to look back upon my experiences to that date and was able to see them "objectively" for the first time.

My sense was that many trivial events in my past towards which I harbored resentment or held grudges or remembered being injured somehow were actually very different than the way I remembered them. I had a clear sense that many of these things not only didn't happen in the way that I remembered them but in fact may well have been due to my shortcomings such as anger, selfishness, greed etc etc..

I remember being very moved by this knowledge and quite taken aback. There was a moment when I seemed to be challenged (again wordlessly) to think about what I'd seen and then invited to make a decision whether I wanted to go forward and continue on my journey or go back and try again.

I made the obvious choice and was immediately back in my body and listening to my friend asking what was wrong and what he could do. In the meantime I remember thinking that I had things I needed to do; that my work wasn't finished or that somehow I hadn't discovered my true purpose.

I was given a chance to come back and find out what it was. That's a gift.

For most of the last thirty years I've felt as though I've been governed not only by that experience but by my desire to live up to that experience. It's only in the last ten years or so that I seem to have lost the focus that that provided.

I'm anxious to find a way to try and get it back.


View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous on Tuesday, May 21, 2002 - 10:32 pm:

I had four triple heart by-pass, four years ago in Ottawa.

After moving from Canada to Belgium I had to change my Canadian cardiologist for a Belgian, who advised me to have a catheterization to check the bypasses condition after three years.

The procedure was done on a late Friday afternoon. I had one before my surgery in Canada and it was alright, nothing happened.

The first coronary was fine but with the second something bad occurred which induced a cardiac arrest for about a minute.

I knew something wrong was going on because I remembered what was happening just a moment before and, then that darkness and noise. There was that pulsating sound, very loud in my head, complete darkness and a strong anxiety feeling. Actually, it was not a pleasant experience; it was frightening, disturbing. I heard no "heavenly music", neither I saw "angels" or felt at peace or my "soul" left the body. After I was brought back with several electro-shocks, I kept feeling scary and disturbed.
Particularly when the doctor told me what happened.


I keep now remembering this experience and thinking that when the day of my departure will come, I will know exactly that my death is beginning...


View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous on Monday, May 20, 2002 - 09:38 pm:

I fell off my bicycle and injured myself to the face and head VERY badly. My friends who were with me were trained in first aid and removed a t-shirt to place over my head, as I was not breathing - I had died.

I remember a man dressed very smartly, in a suit, who spoke calmly and told me to "come with me". I remember saying that I couldn’t go with him as I had grit in my eye due to my injury. He asked me to go with him several times and I refused. I then woke in hospital.

About 2 weeks later I saw my friends and asked them who the man was. They answered that there was no such man.

Since then I have considered myself to be a bit psychic, and until one day I thought nothing of it.

I was asleep in bed one night when all of a sudden I woke sharply. I got up, leaving my girlfriend in bed, and went to watch TV in another room. Normally I would have given her a hug and fell back to sleep.

I turned on the TV and flicked through the channels. It was about 3.30 am so there wasn’t much on (only 5 channels in UK). I came across a program that was just starting - it was about NDE's and a connection with the Para-normal. I watched the program for about 30 mins then it clicked. I had had a NDE - I thought myself as psychic - It all fell into place.

Since then I KNOW that I am truly special, that I have experienced God and that I will go to another place when I die. It is only because I told God that I was not ready that he let me continue on earth.

Sometimes I think I might be a bit crazy, but when I think hard I know the answer.

I hope you find this of interest.


View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous on Monday, May 20, 2002 - 09:32 pm:

I had what I later learned to be an appendicitis attack. I was a college student and sought treatment at the student health center on a Thursday or Friday afternoon. The diagnosis was missed, and I was sent home.

On Saturday morning, my appendix ruptured. I was taken to a local hospital emergency room (in a small town) and the diagnosis, which was now more difficult to pinpoint, was again missed.

I was admitted to the hospital over the Labor Day holiday weekend and given medicines for pain and fever. On Tuesday, the physician who admitted me had a surgeon examine me. I was immediately taken to surgery for exploratory surgery where they found a "grapefruit size" abscess, which had resulted from my ruptured appendix. I spent the next 3 1/2 weeks in the ICU. I was what they called "septic". I remember very little of the specific events in the ICU. I was in a lot of pain and still full of infection.

I reached a point where I felt no more pain. I felt like I was no longer in my body but was keenly aware of what was going on in the room. I sensed that I was dying, but did not think about it in terms of death.

I felt like I was moving through a dark tunnel and felt a sensation of warmth and the presence of light. It felt like a good place to be. Although I had a 9 month old son who was weighing heavily on my mind, I was willing to accept the idea of going/leaving/not returning.

I reached a point where I sort of hung in limbo. I didn't move forward but I also did not move backwards. I just hung out there in that place and looked back on my life and became reconciled with the idea of leaving my son to be raised by others. I did not hear voices per se, but in my mind I finally became aware that I had to go back. I could not stay. The place was not yet meant to be mine. I did not want to leave.

I began to feel pain again. I survived. My surgeon told me afterwards that he had been certain I would die.

I eventually left the hospital and began to be aware of the changes within myself. It was initially very disturbing. I felt that I no longer knew who I was. It was very difficult to describe. I thought I was a little crazy. I hoped that it was a hangover from all the pain medicines/narcotics. I cried for the loss of myself. I would drive to work and sit at traffic lights looking at all the people in their cars in such a hurry to get to work. I would think to myself, 'these people have no idea that we are all going to die someday. If they did, they wouldn't be in such a hurry to get to work.'

I would sit and think and think and think.

I reprioritized things in my life that have stuck with me through all the years. I am not materialistic. I like nice things, but they are not what makes me happy. I could lose all my material goods tomorrow, and I will still be me and can still be happy. I feel driven to connect with people in a positive way. It is what matters most in life. I have a strong spiritual belief that how we live is what matters.

I do not prescribe to any organized religion. I have a tolerance for all faiths, but find that my own beliefs are more along the lines of Buddhism. I find the idea of reincarnation believable. I think it is a strong possibility that we keep coming back until we have learned all the lessons and get it "right".

I don't think it really matters what we call ourselves in regards to religious beliefs. I don't think one is any better nor will accomplish anything that the others won't. I believe in looking for the good in others and living by the "golden rule".

I was only 21 when my NDE occurred. I was just getting started in my adult life. I don't know who I would be if I had not had the experience. I like myself and am glad for the experience. I am a changed person.


View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous on Monday, May 20, 2002 - 09:17 pm:

I was 13 years old. My life at the time was destitute and impoverished, and I was suffering from depression. I had decided that I would commit suicide several days before that, and on the day I had it planned, I carried it out. It was an overdose, and it took place soon after my father left for work, on a day he was to work a double-shift, thus leaving sufficient time for the drugs to take effect.

The drugs set in and took their effect, but my father came home several hours early and called the paramedics. I was flat-lined all the way to the hospital, and soon after my arrival the doctor was in the process of "pronouncing" me dead when I regained a pulse. I remained in a coma for several days following the incident.

My experience of death is something that has changed my life in many ways. And my experience of death itself is nothing like I have ever heard before. It was a complete void, and I do mean complete. I cannot say it was "dark" because that implies duality; for there to be dark, there must be light to offer an opposite for Darkness to be defined BY. There was not. This "Place" was void of these simple dualistic principals, which we live by, i.e. Dark/Light, Hot/Cold, Good/Evil, Life/Death. In this "place" there was no semblance of these concepts at all. But the only way my mind can conceive of this experience in a language, even though it woefully falls short of the experience, is to say in my experience of Death, there was only one thing: Complete Darkness.


I can not say that I was alone, nor can I say I was not. The only way I can describe this, is by saying that I was in no way able to perceive the presence of others if there were. It was as if my own identity, my own "Self" was nearly non-existent. I was possessed of only enough conscious mind to perceive of this "Place", and nothing more. Like I was an entity possessed of only one ability; to know this place and that this place was the embodiment of death itself, nothing more, not even to know myself.

This was not frightening at all to me, and to look back on the experience, brings to bear a feeling, though dark, of total comfort. But it’s a bittersweet memory however. Though I am in no hurry to pass from this life, I miss that feeling; I miss greatly being enveloped in deaths presence. It permeated my very being, and has changed me forever.

People fear Death, as if it is a monster come to steal them or their loved ones from them, like a thief in the night no one can avoid. To most, it is some hideous thing that "lives" in dark places, and is akin only to evil, and to some, Death is a specter that is the embodiment of evil itself. I "know" this to be farthest from the truth. Within Death, there is a complete cleansing of the spirit, a "washing away" of our realities of the "flesh", and an awakening of the spirit to truths no language can begin to describe. It is a beginning, not a destination.

Death to me was "Dark" yes, it was "Melancholy" yes, but within that was a beauty no words can command. And I will never be the same. It has changed me in other ways, very "special" ways I hesitate to attempt to describe. Ways I can hardly believe for myself at times. Death is not a "Thing" that "Happens" to people, nor is it just a "Place" of being. It is a very real spiritual essence, a spirit if you will. Almost every religion has a name for this "Spirit", but to me it has none, I know it by the feeling of "knowing" when I am in its presence: in a cemetery, in a crumbling and vacant building, when the leaves are falling from the trees when there is hardly enough light in the sky to see them by, and sometimes, he can be felt when a dieing person or animal walks near. This I keep very close to myself, for (to me) very obvious reasons. And save for a select very few people, this is the only time I have voiced this.


View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous on Monday, May 20, 2002 - 09:06 pm:

When I was in junior high school I developed a blood disorder and was put on the steroid prednisone to help raise my blood platelets. Over the course of a few months, my platelet count got better, but my overall health seemed to deteriorate. Finally, after about a week of feeling more and more tired every day and losing weight very rapidly although I ate nearly constantly, I found myself too weak to get up off the couch.

My parents rushed me to the doctor who noted that I was in ketoacidosis and was at risk for lapsing into a coma. They then rushed me to a children's hospital, and on the way there I vaguely remember passing out in the back seat.

I then remember seeing my father carry me in to the emergency room, as if I was already there waiting. I then watched as the nurses and ER doctors rushed me into a room, and the door shut in my face. I turned around and ahead of me was a cave-like tunnel, very cool inside with water dripping down the sides. I began to walk the slight incline and realized a dim light was sparkling off the water on the walls, so I walked a little further. I stopped when I noticed a figure standing against the wall about 10 feet in front of me, the light I had been following was directly behind the figure, casting a silhouette with yellowish bands shooting out all around.

I then heard what I can only say was my recently deceased grandfather, or maybe I just sensed somehow that it was him communicating to me, "What do you think you're doing here?" And I couldn't reply, I tried opening my mouth but something held it together. He spoke again, "Well? You're not supposed to be here yet. Go back. You'll know when it's your time. Now get!"

The light was then directly over my face, and a cold spray of oxygen was blowing from a mask around my mouth (explaining to me why I couldn't speak), and a doctor was leaning over me. When he saw my eyes open he said, "Well, there you are. Glad to have you back."

I spent the next month in the hospital. The entire experience was gone from my mind for years after it had actually happened. Then one night after my grandmother died, about 14 years later, as I tried to sleep, I saw my grandfather in my near-sleep vision, and he was hugging my grandmother. They turned and looked at me and smiled. When they vanished I suddenly remembered my experience in the hospital.


View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous on Monday, May 20, 2002 - 08:57 pm:

I was a freshman in high school and it was in March.

I had taken around fifty sleeping pills (crushed because at the time I couldn't swallow pills). I lay in bed for a few hours and then starting from the tips of my fingers and toes, I went numb. It was so numb it hurt just thinking of moving even one muscle.

The music I had chosen to kill myself to faded and my vision was reduced to strobe light flashes in weird shapes. I saw darkness and felt cold emanating from what was in front of me. I knew part of me but not all of me had gone somewhere other than my bedroom and that where I was now I wasn't welcome.

The next thing I know, I am back in my bed, sort of convulsing. I feel extremely nauseated and (over the course of fifteen minutes) slithered to the bathroom, walking into everything possible because my sight hadn't come back and my hearing was in small bursts. I puked for a while and slurred to my mom that I shouldn't go to school the next day.


View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous on Monday, May 20, 2002 - 08:51 pm:

Approximately ten years ago I suddenly one day, experienced horrible hallucinations and messages and incredible paranoia.
I was out at the time and when I came home days went by when I neither slept nor ate.

I was lying down when suddenly the room was full of light, it was the warmest softest most comforting light I ever saw and I thought I was in heaven.

Soon after I was in a hospital and diagnosed with Manic Depression but honestly to this day I feel it was a near-death experience.

I have taken medication for years now and I would just like to get insight on what other people have experienced or think of my experience. Thank You.


View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous on Wednesday, May 15, 2002 - 11:20 pm:

I was in 5th grade and very very ill for days. My grandmother took me to the local physician several times and, he could find nothing wrong . I couldn’t walk, had a temp of 108...then, the miracle...my brother who was 1 year older than me broke his arm at school. While in the emergency room my grandmother told the doctor about me and my symptoms ect.. He sent for an ambulance to be sent to pick me up immediately.

When I got into the e.r. I saw my brother and I felt so bad for him and they rushed me to a room to wait because he already had me scheduled for surgery. While I was in the room laying in bed waiting, the last thing I remember is my dad putting a cold rag on my head and then a bright bright light surrounding me but I wasn’t in bed. I was walking and going towards the source of the light. I had no pain, and had the feeling of right on finally this is over!

I felt anxious to go wherever it was I was going and happy about it, then I remember someone, a being, I guess, not really a face just, a presence and, with no words stopped me in my tracks and, let me know I had to go back. It wasn’t time yet. The presence gave me the greatest feeling of unconditional love I have ever felt and, sent me back without ever speaking a word.

Within a second I remember, waking up on a table seeing the doctor poke me with a huge needle in my hip (where the infection was). I watched the infection just shoot out across the room and everyone in the room sort of panicked and tried to get it to stop somehow, by this time I was standing next to the doctor watching him try to get everything under control. I had the feeling of WOW that was unexpected what was it ect... and I wanted to see better so, I floated up to the ceiling and watched as they raced around the room frantically trying to do things to me one nurse was pinching me so hard on my neck that it was about to bleed.

I didn’t understand that until later when I was recovering in my room.She came in to see me and, told me that the reason she had done that was because, I had lost my pulse and they were trying to like shock me back!!?? Weird...but it worked I guess because, the next thing I remember is being in a quarantined room with my grandma, grandpa and dad looking in the window at me. Then the long process of recovery.

I had a staph infection in my hip and the doctor said that they had lost me on the operating table and it was a miracle that I got there in time thanks to my brother breaking his arm. If that hadn’t happened I would have been dead by the time they got back from the hospital.

I knew then that it happened for a reason and death is not a scary thing to me at all. Since that time, I have, believe it or not, had 2 more nde's resulting from an auto accident...but that’s another story.


View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous on Wednesday, May 15, 2002 - 10:59 pm:

I was about 10 years old and I remember I was falling asleep. I begin to sink deeper and deeper into what I thought was sleep. But my...spirit?...began to drift down out of my body and then, rose up. I remember feeling a bit confused and decided to go upstairs to talk to my parents, but when I got to the door, I realized I couldn't reach for the doorknob.

It frightened me and the desperation to try and get their help grew, so I begin to force myself through the door. It felt as if I was pressing through a cotton ball. Some resistance. I then floated upstairs to see my parents watching television (watching the Late Night Show - important for later)

I screamed, but nothing came out. I didn't have a mouth. It was at that moment that I realized I did not have my shell. My body. And that made my fear worse. However, I could see. I don't know how if I didn't have eyes, but whatever!

I looked down and saw that I was this energy...greenish hue...(I know sounds monsterish and silly) my confusion and panic was incredible! It was then that the room begin fill with this bright light and I not only was calmed down, but also was filled with this feeling of love and I wanted to be immersed into the light. I pulled towards it but felt this binding strength pulling back. I looked back and saw that my energy was continued into a long string like tail and it was resisting like a rubber band.

The bright light was not pulling on me, but I wanted to go towards it.
I finally became exhausted and gave up. At that moment I was pulled back and slammed into my body.

I flashed awake. Feeling cold, yet amazed, I ran upstairs. My parents were sitting watching the Late night show (My bedroom is on the farthest side downstairs away from the upstairs TV and could not hear anything...so I can't explain this away with audio)

I told them about my "dream" and I don't remember what they said but I do remember that at least to me they didn't make a big deal out of it. They let me stay up to calm down.

Though it was a frightening experience because let's face it...it's pretty freaky stuff. But the end results were wonderful for me at the time.


View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous on Wednesday, May 15, 2002 - 10:51 pm:

In 1972 I was 19 years old. I was living a sort of hippy life and no longer attended the Protestant church I was raised in. I spent the summer of 1972 hitchhiking around the country. During one of the last rides the man who picked me up attacked me. He strangled me until I passed out & then raped me at gunpoint.

While I was passed out I found myself in a dark void. There was no end to it and there was no one but me, not even God. I was completely and utterly alone. I felt that I would be there for eternity.

It seems surprising to me now, but at the time the experience did not change my behavior for good. My risky behavior actually increased. I was terrified of death, yet obsessed by it. Eventually I felt drawn by the Holy Spirit to the Catholic Church.

As my knowledge and faith increased I became less afraid, but still had periods of depression, sometimes with suicidal thoughts. I take an anti-depressant now, which has helped a lot.

I have always believed that I experienced Hell. I really think that would be the ultimate punishment - to be completely alone without other people or God.


View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous on Wednesday, May 15, 2002 - 10:46 pm:

I was dreaming that I was attending a psychological conference in Bedford (a neighboring town in Massachusetts) Center when, I became conscious that I was, in fact, dreaming. I remember saying to myself "now I can experiment"! (I had read Robert Monroe's Journeys Out of The Body and Patricia Garfield's Creative Dreaming).

I was lying in a reclining position and stretched out my feet, pointing my toes forward. As I did, I accelerated at tremendous speed, understanding (intuiting) that I was traveling at the speed of light! I quickly found myself inside a tunnel and heard crackling, snapping, electrical sounds all around me as I continued to accelerate (I experienced no fear and was totally caught up in the experience).

When I burst out on the other side, I felt like I was truly alive. Words cannot adequately express what I felt or describe the experience. I can best describe the feeling as ecstatic. I felt all the emotions simultaneously. I felt my being/consciousness had expanded, much larger than in physical life. The feeling was so wonderful, so ecstatic, that the nearest I can come to describing the joy of it is to think of the greatest •••••• you ever had and multiply it a billion times!

After hovering, floating, just being in space, I noticed my house below me in the distance and saw my physical body lying in bed beside my wife. As soon as I saw my physical body, I was immediately drawn back down to it and could feel myself click back into it. I got up from bed elated from the experience but saddened to be back in my physical body (being back in the physical felt like being dead in comparison to the experience I just had)! The experience was so powerful, that, on the following day, I shared it with anyone who would listen.

In retrospect, I consider the experience a wonderful gift. I know that consciousness exists beyond the physical body, that death is but a door we pass through, and that we are all one river.


View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous on Tuesday, May 14, 2002 - 10:53 pm:

I was 9 yrs old and lived in South Vancouver on the Fraser River. I was playing with the neighbor’s kids on the log booms one day jumping from log to log and lost track of time. When I decided to go home I jumped in the water to walk to shore and the tide had come in and the water was over my head. I could not swim. I remember going down 2 times and the third time I went down I saw my life pass in front of my eyes like a book when you fan the pages. They were very vivid pictures of my life up to that time. The next thing I knew, one of the kids I was playing with grabbed me out of the water and laid me over a log until I caught my breath and then helped me get to the shore. The images I saw have faded over the years but I still remember one vividly like it happened yesterday. It was an amazing experience and one I will never forget as long as I live.

Please be advised that I was not brought up with a religious background except my mother’s guidance to be good, fair, kind and honest. I have checked liberal because that is the closest I could come.


View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous on Tuesday, May 14, 2002 - 10:49 pm:

I was cleaning glue off a rubberized wet suit, for scuba diving, I used carbon tetrachloride...

My doctor told me some months later., when I complained that' I wasn't getting better...He said " I should have died. The decent thing for me to have done was to die. Instead I bring the mess to him to clean up.... then complain.

My blood pressure would not stabilize. It dropped out...
I found myself in a beautiful light...I saw a building. The building was like a City Hall. Made of white stone with a tower...many steps up to the door. I don't remember walking up the steps.
I was inside. There was a man. He was engulfed in light. I couldn’t make out his features. Later I called him Luke the Physician...I think because I was so sick and Luke was the only one that could help me...Luke never spoke to me. He motioned to a doorway. I walked thru it. Luke followed me...A room like a library...floor to ceiling books, on three walls...the books were stone...Luke motioned for me to touch the books. I do not remember learning anything from the books at that time. I do remember, I was awed... I had touched two or three books, when I could hear my Mother and Doctor calling me. I ignored them for as long as I could. I told Luke, I have to go, see what they want, I'll be back...Luke motioned to the door...I was awake...

A few days later my blood pressure dropped out again...I was with Luke in a Senate chamber. It resembled the U.S senate...there were men sitting at these seats...Large chamber. Many men. With one man standing behind a pulpit...There was allot of activity going on between the men and Luke...I do not remember what was said. I was asking questions ... I remember being told that any gifts, I want to give back, I can. I could come back and see them any time. I could not stay any longer.... I never felt that I had died it was more like an experience.


View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous on Monday, May 13, 2002 - 09:19 pm:

Well I was with 2 other men and drinking allot and I was driving. I realy don’t know what happen but, from what I understand we were going at least 100mph and hit a bank head on. The other 2 were just banged up thanks to air bags in my 2000 S10 pickup. I guess I missed the air bag. I had a head tremor, a broken arm and a smashed knee as well as a broken tibia and collapsed lung. The police said there was no pulse, heartbeat or anything so, he helped the other 2.

A passer by got me going again they got me out. I went again. I was airlifted to the hospital then in the sky they had to zap me with the pattles.

What I saw was a very bright light and then it kind of looked like an endless sky and, at the left I could see a face like outlines of a mans face. Never felt so good in my life no pain, nothing.

I woke up in the hospital after 8 days.

Then dreams 1 or 2 mos. later. Dreams about floating in the air seeing my family.

Why am I still here?


View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous on Monday, May 13, 2002 - 08:56 pm:

As an apprentice electrician in coal mining...I worked along-side a 5th deg...black belt judo champion...he had an ego and constantly picked on older workers...one day I suggested he pick on someone his own age and size...so he came after me...before I knew it I was in a strangle hold...and he was asking me to submit.... never in my life till that point had I ever submitted to anyone...so I would not...he continued to apply pressure till my head was ready to explode...and I would gladly have submitted...but since he had cut off my air supply to my wind pipe and the blood supply to my jugular and was holding me down...there was no way to indicate to him that I was ready to give up....I next found myself in a dark tunnel.....at the end of the tunnel was a bright light...I headed towards the light...then I realized that someone...or...something was closing the door and the light was disappearing...so I ran towards the light...I just managed to put my hand on the door and push !
It opened in time.... as I was being revived...I came around shouting.... I can see you...the after effects were not pleasant at the time.... a flood of realization that this man could have killed me....anger/hostility.

The question which I have till this day is.... when you hear of all these others who have experienced something near death.... why am I the only one that sees the experience the way I do?

I am extremely strong in my belief system and could talk about it and my life’s experiences for days. But your readers would think I am nuts...so I will share one little bit with you...I remember the time prior to my birth...I was in a huge room...it was dimly lit...a voice called me and I went towards it...the voice came from a radiant light...the closer I got the more wondrous was the feeling that became part of me.... the voice said to me.... it’s your turn.... go down and give them a message from me.... tell them I am alive and well.... the next thing I knew I was involved!
I was in an argument with other beings similar to me...over whose turn it was...I remember saying...I was told it was my turn...and the next thing I knew I was being born.... when people would come to look at me I would become extremely excited and try to tell them...I have a message for you...but I could not communicate with them...this happened over and over till one day I got tired of trying and gave up.

I lead a charmed life in many ways growing up...but to cut to the chase...I was 15 and was having all kinds of experiences...when I remembered everything.....since that time I have continued to lead what many would call a charmed life.


I am able to foresee lots of things...but since you are working on the specifics of near death...let me tell you.... god is alive and well...and this is a super holiday we are on...make sure you give more than you take...and hell could only be...to be kept from the light...perhaps you can remember what your message is.


View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous on Friday, May 10, 2002 - 10:50 pm:

When I was 22, I literally believe today that my body was being torn apart. I was abused sexually as a young girl, and I was trying to figure out what was "wrong" with me. There were some memories I had always known, and some that I had repressed for years. I think this was tearing me apart inside. I developed (undiagnosed at the time) Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. I got to the point where trying to sleep sent me into a panic. My fiancé couldn't even touch me without filling me with loathing and disgust. I was forgetting to eat, drink fluids, or sleep.


I went for 5 nights without sleeping or eating. I may have had some fluids in this time, but it was not very much...not enough to keep me alive at any rate. On the fifth day I tried to go to my classes at the university. I felt so sick. I was not able to think clearly at all and I was in a panic. I tried to call my mother to come get me, but she was at work and I could not remember her work phone number.

There was this group on campus who was really a religious cult. I did not know this at the time and they offered to help me. They took me to their house and told me that I was "possessed." They held me in their house and performed exorcisms on me during my 6th night without sleep. I went once again without food or water or sleep. When they had finally fallen asleep, I called my mother. She immediately sent the cops to the house. The police came and took me to our clinic. I was then sent to the hospital. They never told me at the time, but the doctors told my mom they were not sure if I would make it or not.

While I was in the hospital room, I started to feel the most overwhelming peace I had ever experienced in my lifetime. It simply filled my heart to overflowing. No words can describe it, it was so incredibly beautiful. There was overwhelming light and I started to feel myself headed towards it. I wanted to go!! It was so incredible, but then I heard the nurse start screaming that I must take the medicine. I didn't want it...she was threatening to force it down my throat...I took it and then BAM! I was back in my body altogether...The light started to fade and I HATED it. I hated them for bringing me back. It was at that point I felt "somethings" come into my body. I am part American Indian and I have always believed in the presence of guardians or helpers. It was like they came into me in order to keep me alive. I thought I was in hell, quite frankly. It was as though every single negative emotion I ever had and had repressed took over. I felt like destroying something I was!


So filled with rage. I tried without success to recapture that feeling I had during the NDE. Because I couldn't do it, I thought I was a "bad" person. But recently, I have been feeling that feeling again, not always, but at times, and when I do it is beautiful.

I have to deal with my past and through dealing with the pain I am restored to that state which I believe is all of humanity's natural state...once of bliss and joy!

I cannot put things into my body that are harmful---smoking, drinking, drugs, non-organic foods, caffeine--without feeling sick...I can "sense" things about other people...their emotions---sometimes even dead relatives or spirits around them. I have seen spirits since my NDE.

I know my purpose...simply to heal myself and to help heal other people and restore us to our natural state.

We as humans are so out of balance and we need to become in balance to achieve our full potential.


View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous on Friday, May 10, 2002 - 10:41 pm:

http://www.near-death.com/wwwboard/messages/178.html


View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous on Friday, May 10, 2002 - 10:39 pm:

I was hospitalized following a miscarriage for what is considered a very routine surgical procedure, a "D & C". Prior to the surgery I was concerned that my blood pressure was extremely low, but no one else appeared to be that concerned. Anyhow, during the surgery, my heart stopped for approximately 2 and 1/2 minutes to 3.

However, as many of us have experienced, time is not the same in the other dimension. I found myself in a lovely, peaceful meadow or field. The grass/flowers were about waist high to me. I remember seeing myself in a long, flowing skirt. I knew that I was all alone, however, I was not alarmed. Now, this sounds ever so simple, but being left alone was always a tough issue for me as our mother abandoned my twin brother and me when we were 18 months old. We were separated and placed in foster homes. Unfortunately, my childhood situation was not always so pleasant; my "family" would not allow me to be a real member and I always struggled with wanting to fit in and be a member. There was alcohol, physical and emotional abuse and it took years of therapy to undo the damage.

So, here I was, all alone and totally at peace with it. What I perceived was an atmosphere of love. I could inhale, hear, feel and touch a palpable sense of being loved. I also knew that there was some type of kind and gentle presence with whom I could communicate mentally, but did not find the need to at that time. I knew that I was loved completely and there was no doubt in my mind. I knew that I was alone and I accepted that and was very calm. I think that there was a tree and I was moving towards the tree (The Tree of Life perhaps?) At some point I felt the sunshine warming the back of my head and I began to slowing turn towards the sunlight to bathe my face in its warmth. I believe that if I had remained in that environment perhaps I would have moved towards the light and had more of an encounter.

Now, I know that my experience is not as profound as some folks. And yet, I think that the two most important issues I had, that of loneliness and worthiness are not my issues alone. I sense that we all have these at the core of our being and it is what motivates many of us to do many things; destructive and otherwise. So I look upon this experience as a real gift. No longer do I fear death. (I'm not thrilled about sustained pain, but I know that it is transitory.) As I mature in my understanding of spiritual matters, I realize that the fears of being unloved and unlovable and the fear of being rejected by others kept me bound up and depressed. I am being more and more liberated each day. I am looking into the eyes of others, whether at the grocery store or at PTA meetings and seeing God's love reflected back. I am taking the time to say, "Hello in there".

Since this experience, my husband, who is an attorney and is wonderfully pragmatic, appeared to also have a newfound appreciation of our marriage and me. I have always been the one on a spiritual path while he is more earthbound. (Together; we make a healthy balance for our children.) He tracked down the medical records because we wanted to be sure of what had happened. I knew, but he needed "proof". I remember that as I was coming to in the O.R., I could feel or hear the panic and concern in the attending physician's voice as he frantically called my name. When I responded to him, I told him that he would never guess where I had been. He had just called a "code blue" and was poised with the blade at my neck, ready to do a tracheotomy. I began to cry then, as I was humbled by the intensity and the gravity of what I had experienced. I kept it to myself for a while, as I thought most people would just think I was oxygen deprived and goofy and would make light of what had!


Been a very precious gift that I had been given. I think that I had been over anesthetized, however that is a moot point because I feel no need to place blame.

I was given a special Valentine that I could tuck away in my heart and take it out and view it anytime. Prior to my experience and since then I have read every book that I could that had to do with NDEs. Just recently I attended an intimate workshop hosted by Dannion Brinkley who emphasized that it is what we do, and how we treat others, that makes the difference in this world and the next.

I will continue to find ways to spread God's endless love in whatever ways I am inspired to do.


View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous on Friday, May 10, 2002 - 10:27 pm:

I was 8 years old and went to have my tonsils out. I had received a bad burn at the beach the day before and was uncomfortable with that.

The doctors put a cloth over my nose and mouth and I was instructed to breath in through my nose and out my mouth.

I was scarred at the feeling that I had.

I was in a long black tunnel or vanishing cone with a screaming neon purple light at the end that seemed to draw me in. The sound was like the scream of electrical wires - high pitch and absorbing. I was very scared.
Then I was back.

I have often felt a confusion or sadness that my experience was not of wondrous light and good feelings. But have justified it by the stand that it was not yet my time.

Thank you for this opportunity to share my story.


View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous on Friday, May 10, 2002 - 10:24 pm:

Was up at neighborhood park with my young son; had a cyst burst on my ovary and started heavy bleeding; the ambulance took me to the hospital and the fire chief took my young son there also and then called my mother to tell her that I was there; had high fever of 104; remember seeing clouds moving very rapidly and seeing a bright light. Remember a crystal like city and that is all I can remember.


View: Top messagePrevious messageNext messageView: Bottom message  By Anonymous on Friday, May 10, 2002 - 10:19 pm:

After 4 month's of heavy drug abuse (speed, XTC, Marihuana, Psilocibee, LSD and Micro trips. I started to have unpleasant experiences on LSD.

I thought that I was able to play with my life. But I would go on. And one day in the highest point of my use (abuse) I took that LSD trip in a small room filled with 4 ore 5 persons. After a little moment I was completely gone out of reality. The persons who I was with tried to wake me but no response. I did not move for about 3 hours. My experience: I think that I had an Out-of-body experience but I do not remember seeing myself. After that, and this I do remember very well, saw flashes of things that I had done in my life, those flashes came with comments if I was good or bad, I was very afraid at the time. Then everything calmed down. And then came the very clear white light, closer and closer at this moment. I heard voices and it was like they were arguing if they would let me in yes or no some said "no, he is not ready yet".
Hers said yes let him in" and as I came closer to the light the voices became clearer, and I started to see a small black hole in the big clear light. I think that I went thru the black hole and then I woke up. And I found myself at the same spot in the same position as I had left this materialistic world. I had peed in my pants. I felt very scared and did not realize what had happened to me.

I still don't really know if it was just hallucinations or something else. But I know that at the end it is beautiful, that if you live a good life it will even be better, and that I am not afraid to die although I love life
even as it is a hard time out here!

I hope this info has been useful for you. I am sorry for my written
English I know it is very bad!

If you know what happened to me this day please let me know.

Have a great life! You really deserve it if you're good to the other.

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