August 10th is my birthday. I had just turned 14 years old on this particular day. I was visiting two friends a couple of blocks over from our house, when one of them came in and told us that the horse was out of the pen in the back yard. In those days, we could keep livestock in town. The county population was just over eight thousand, and the town population was twelve hundred.

We all went out to round up the horse. The horse was not in my friend's back yard. The horse had gone into a vacant lot behind the alley, which was overgrown with tall weeds and some wild corn. That stuff was over our heads, so we started beating the weeds (any plant growing where you don’t want it is considered a weed). I was moving along at a pretty good clip and stepped through a clump of pretty heavy stuff and right into the back end of that horse.

Now that horse let out a squeal, jumped forward, and hunched up. I thought, “Oh. He is going to kick.” I grabbed for his tail. It’s true, if you can get a horse’s tail and hold it hard enough, he won’t kick. But you have to get the tail. I missed. I went sailing through the air and hit the ground on my back. I got up and thought, “That is strange, why don’t I hurt?” He got me right in the pit of my stomach.

My friends who were identical twins came bolting through the weeds and stood over some body lying on the ground. (I was one of the few in town who could tell the twins apart, even when they weren’t standing together). The twins picked up this idiot, whoever he was, and ran toward their house carrying him. I went with them and tried to talk to them. They weren’t paying any attention to me at all. That pissed me off, and I grabbed one friend by the shoulder. My hand went right through his shoulder. He gave kind of a shudder, looked around, and kept going.

I followed them up the stairs into their back porch and into the kitchen. Well, I tried to follow them that is, but the kitchen door slammed shut right through me! Man, you think that isn’t startling? Let me tell you, it is very startling! I was sort of getting the impression that everything was not as ordinary as it had been that morning when mom told me to round up my friends for a party.

I was inside the kitchen before I could think about it, and then in the living room where my friend’s were putting this guy on the couch. I could see that his belt buckle was practically smashed. I looked closer, and discovered that was my belt buckle. What was this guy doing with it? I had never seen him before in my life!

As I got a closer look, I saw that the person was me! I mean we never see ourselves as others see us. Even in pictures, we don’t really look at ourselves. I mean, I hadn’t, up until then. Anyway, my friend's mother was checking me - uhhh, that is the body out, and she said, “He isn’t breathing!” My friend grabbed the phone, and called the doctor. No one in the house knew artificial respiration. Just about then really strange things began to happen.

I could see a very tiny silver cord running from the pit of the stomach of the body to my stomach. I could move myself outside of the house by just thinking. I wanted to be outside. Then I thought of mom, and I was in the kitchen where she was mixing up the cake batter for my birthday party. I thought, “That is too bad. Now I won’t be able to attend, and she is going to be very unhappy that I am not around.”

I thought of dad, and suddenly I was in town two miles down the road in the railroad depot where dad was the station agent. He gave a kind of startled jerk, looked around, right through me, said, “That is strange”, and went back to work.

I noticed that in town, around the railroad and in and out of the hotel where the railroad crews changed trains and had their layovers, there were gray bodies just sort of wandering around. They would just pass through the people on the porch of the hotel, neither noticing the other. These gray beings were faceless, and didn’t seem to be doing anything except wandering around, sort of like they were lost.

So, here I was in town. I began to feel as if I was being withdrawn. I was now standing in the corner of the room with my body. My friend was on the phone. He said that the doctor was on his way. The doctor was 15 miles out of town.

The room seemed to be receding, getting smaller and smaller. I was then inside some sort of dark place that was getting darker and darker. It started whirling around me, and I was feeling intense vibration inside my body. It was so powerful that I thought I was going to be dissolved.

Just when it got so powerful I thought I was a goner. I was out of the “tunnel,” if that is what you can call it. I was in a place of total darkness. I raised my hand and looked at it. I thought, “Almost too dark to see your hand in front of your face. What is this place?” I looked around, and I seemed to be standing on something solid, but I couldn’t see it. I felt my body, and I was wearing clothes, but they seemed to be of a much finer fabric than my tee shirt and blue jeans.

I thought, “Well, this seems to be it. I must have bought the farm. I am dead. So this is what it is like. Nothing. Nowhere.” I was standing there puzzled and all when I noticed a tiny light, which seemed to be way off in the distance. I was looking and it slowly seemed to be getting larger, not brighter but larger. In a very short time the light was very large, just a little larger than a person. I could see a person inside the light. The light was bright, but not glaring. It did not dazzle the eyes. It got close enough for me to look at what was inside. There was a very soothing, very strong, but not overbearing thought in my mind that said, “Childing, do not be afraid. We will not harm you in any way.” I thought this is very strange. What is a Childing? I was answered almost immediately with the thought, “In a moment. What do you have to show us?”

Now I have to stop here for a moment with a definition. This “being,” besides being about 8 feet tall, was made of light. The planes in the face were all of light. There was this sense of absolute acceptance, complete and total acceptance. It was around and through me. Seemingly, this “being” was made of two beings. There was a sense of it being both male and female, the perfect blending of the two attributes. From now on, I shall refer to them –as “they” because that is what they were and are.

Anyway, when they said, “What do you have to show us?” around us sprang up many images. I have to call them “images” here, as we cannot describe what I was experiencing. They were 360° around us. It seemed that every thought, emotion, action, and word that I ever had up to then was embedded in those “images.” I could see connections between a thought over here, and way over there--a long time later, a repercussion! I could see words there and right over here. I could see repercussions. Boy, could I see repercussions. Also, I experienced every one of those situations all over again. Now you must understand, this was all going on simultaneously. Here, our brain can only hold one conscious thought at a time, and we seem to feel only one emotion at a time.

I saw that many of my thoughts created real hard, tangible, and physical things. Many of the things I had done, thought, emoted, acted, with absolutely no idea of any repercussions, where pointed out as rather drastic errors of judgment. Not bad, just errors. Other things were pointed out to be extremely beneficial to me and to others. Things I thought would get me on the greased slide to the hot spot down below were treated with a rather vast, gentle amusement. It seemed to take forever, and was over in a moment.

When it was over, I said, “Who are you? You are not Jesus, because I don’t believe Jesus looked like you.” They said, “Childing, we are yourselves of your own far future. We are who you are learning to become. Without us, you cannot be. Without you, we are not. We are who Jesus referred to as My Father.” Now that is strange, I thought. (You need to understand, there was no air there. I was not “talking” in the sense we talk here. Yet, I could talk.) So I said, “What is this all about? What is happening?” They said, “You are here before your time, an accident. As to what this is all about, you are in a physical body to learn to care about others, and to acquire knowledge. That is the sum totality of physical life.” I said, “I saw that many of my thoughts became actual physical things. How is this possible?” They said, “Thoughts ARE things. What you image with emotion is what we must give you in order for you to learn to become us. When you learn to generate a stable image, coupled with firm emotion, we are bound to bring it into being. But remember, there are issues to having this thing.” I said, “Such as?” They replied “Such as, do you have the means to support keeping the item now that you have it? Do you actually, truly want it now that you have it? For example, you cannot image intangible things. Can you image acceptance, or can you only feel it? Can you image love, or can you only experience it? You have much to learn Childing. Do you wish to stay or do you wish to return?”

Now that place was complete acceptance, complete and total love. I didn’t know what else was there, but I had the idea that if I wished to stay all would change completely into something wonderful. And I knew that if I said I wanted to stay, I could. But I sensed that I would have to be born again into a physical body later. My reaction, “But I am only 14 years old.”

I was standing in the corner of my friend’s living room watching the doctor prepare a six-inch hypodermic needle. He stabbed that thing into the body’s chest just below the sternum and rammed the plunger home. That body gave a jerk. I was yanked back into that body so fast I bounced right back out again, and then back in. I gave a gasp, and the body started breathing. My heart had given a thump that rattled me all the way down to my toes. Man, I hurt all over.

Once the doctor checked me over, and said I was going to be okay, I tried to tell him what had happened to me. He told everyone to leave the room; he had some other tests to do. Then he shoved another hypodermic needle into my arm, and I went to sleep. When I woke up, all I remembered was getting kicked and awakened by the doctor.

I was never the same. I became interested in religion, but none of them had what I was looking for. I traveled all over the world in my years in the U.S.A.F., poking my nose into every religion and philosophy I could find. I had noticed that it didn’t matter the trappings. Some people could get their prayers answered, and I wanted to know the secret.

In 1971, after taking EST, and attending Silva Mind Control basic and advanced trainings, I recovered the memories. The doctor was a master hypnotist. I found out in 1971 what was in that shot. I checked my medical records back in my hometown. It was Sodium Pentathal, a so-called truth serum. Used in the right hands, it is a very powerful hypnotic. Doc had programmed me not to be able to recall consciously what happened until it was safe to do so. In the 70s, much was being done about near-death experiences. It was now safe to recall the incident.

What it boils down to is what you think with emotion you will get. Even Job, in the bible stated, “That which I feared has come to pass.” Most people don’t notice the key words here “come to pass.” If we learn how we created situations and look for the way out all pass. There is much more I could go into here, about all the studies, all the midnight contemplations, but that is personal. You have your own path.

Here is all you have to remember. What you think with emotion is what you will get. It doesn’t matter the thought or the emotion. If the thought is beneficial, and the emotion is non-beneficial, the results will be scattered, but you will get it. If the thought is beneficial, and the emotion is beneficial, you will get it. If the thought is non-beneficial, and the emotion is non-beneficial, you will get it. Again, what you think with emotion is what you get.