The situation surrounding what I've come to understand as a sort of spiritual awakening or shared near death experience is somewhat different from what I've read about over the last three or so years, but I've found I relate most to NDErs, both those I've made friends with and those whose stories I've read online. Connecting with this community made the after-effects of my experience much easier to integrate.
This all happened in 2016, the night that my brother, unbeknownst to me, had passed away. It was May 4th, around 10:30 pm. I was finishing up some work before heading home when I heard a piercing, high pitch tone move into my left ear. All of a sudden, I was shaking and flooded with an ecstatic and palpable energy. My hands began to heat up to an extent I have not experienced since. They were on fire it seemed, and I kept following an impulse to shake them as if I was drying off. My body was sparking with what I could only describe at the time as light. It was as if I could see and feel this white light rushing through my body and igniting everything dormant within me. Fear and ecstasy, somehow interchangeably, enveloped my being. My consciousness was reaching heights I had never remembered up until this point.
A coworker who I had recently bonded with came into the room moments later. She said that I was in her meditation, and asked if she could do a psychic reading for me. This energy was continuing to gain momentum by the second, so I readily agreed, in awe at the nature of events that continued unfolding. It was like I was being ushered along with not a whole lot of say in anything, and thank God I didn't! Or at least from my perspective at the time. The reading was a confirmation to me of everything I had been working on within myself the last few years prior, and what was to come. My friend also told me stories about her own personal near-death experience, out of body experiences, aliens, faeries, all the woo. This was a scheduled serving of the true nature of reality/knock over the head from the universe.
Afterwards I needed to drive home. I had no choice but to surrender, admittedly in paranoia, to whatever was happening. On the ride home I continued to feel as if I was lifting out of my body, calling my friend for direction. I was fortunate to have her there to guide me through the process although I do not attribute it to luck. The songs on the radio were also supremely relevant. I returned home safely, took a salt bath (as directed) and curled in bed shaking with this rapturous energy. The ringing and tones in my ears had done nothing but elevate. It was as if I had been living life comfortably padded and protected from the elements and was stripped to a raw nerve within a matter of seconds. I was feeling sounds move straight through my body and jumping at every creak in the house. My partner at the time arrived home shortly thereafter and all he could do was keep me company and try to understand the things I was describing to him. I managed to fall asleep.
The next morning, I woke up early to find missed calls and text messages from family members. My brother had passed away. I felt strange getting this news in such an expanded state. I was heartbroken and shocked, yet in an uncontrollable state of bliss and wonderment. I pulled together some equanimity and was on a flight from California to Michigan within a few hours. I concluded later that with the time difference, this experience and my brother passing from an overdose were happening in tandem with one another. I'd also like to mention that my brother was not blood related to me; we grew up together from about 5 years old on. He was 22 at the time and I was 21.
To somewhat summarize and fast forward, I began to have many experiences common to those going through an awakening or after-effects of an NDE. A bliss that seemed to alchemize my brain, healing my emotional states/thought patterns/belief systems. Time felt mushy, fluid and multidimensional. I was feeling thought waves and sound waves, waves coming off satellites. The waves that oscillated between myself and another when I thought about how much I loved them. Love blended my being with its surroundings.
Any hormonal issues immediately dissipated and regulated, my skin was vibrant and healthy, stronger nails, filled with a zest for life and waking up early in the morning. My ears became incredibly sensitive. I couldn’t be around anything abrasive (cursing, yelling, negativity, aggressive music) without experiencing physical pain. I sought after anything expansive, ethereal and natural. I deeply purged the next few months (emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually) and isolated outside of work to be in nature.
Seeing and feeling vibration with geometric patterns/hearing light in a binaural beat. Sensations and symptoms that had no apparent explanation such as allergies and food intolerances (meat, sugar, coffee, dairy, nuts, anything artificial/processed). Flushes of heat and cold at all hours of the night that seemed to be healing my body. Strange sleep patterns and dreams (waking up between 3-5am, lucid astral experiences). Connecting with other realms, beings, deceased loved ones. UFO sightings. Communicating with nature and animals. Colors had become more vibrant, smells were sweeter, listening to music was euphoric. God became someone very real, personal and alive in my life.
Acclimating became a full-time job to embody this and then expand in a more productive way for this plane of experience (I couldn't function that way forever, as much as I still long to). Life was a pendulum swinging between the void and a fullness beyond measure. At first I could have never felt more lost in this world and alone, needing to show up for my day to day life while undergoing this transformation. Even until this day, now that the peak has subsided, I look back at the indescribable feeling of being so open and alive to the Divine, the intense alchemy of the body, and wish I could relive it to that degree. I've experienced the suicidal feelings that so many talk about, longing for home, not fearing death. At this time I feel myself to be a visitor, as we all are, and I'm grateful for my chance to be here.