It was two days after the Thanksgiving holiday in 1997 when my grandmother and I were in our car accident.

It was late at night and raining. The car hydroplaned and flipped several times before hitting a culvert. Upon impact I was thrown from the car. My grandmother tried to hold on to me. That resulted in her right wrist breaking and my left wrist breaking. I was thrown approximately 60 feet and hit a tree. I remember crawling back to her, and I have scars from the glass and debris on my elbows and knees as a result. I held her head in my lap and I believe that she was expiring, or had expired, by this time.

I was hoping that she would come back. I was crying, hurting and a bit hysterical at what was happening. I was also alone on a dark country highway with little traffic. Then to my left I saw headlights approaching and I thought: thank God someone is going to see us and help. The vehicle slowed down and a couple raced to where we were. I recognized the lady as Sister Theresa, my youth pastor. We had only very recently started attending her church. She was asking questions like, “What is your name/phone number/address?” I interrupted her and asked that she just pray. I knew somewhere in my heart and mind that only God could intervene and save us. I think deep down I was hoping my grandmother would come back to life, but that was not to be.

I remember hearing them begin to pray along with the children from the youth group who were with them. At this point I lost consciousness or died. I then immediately began to view the group and myself from a bit of a higher perspective. I could see them and hear them praying, but I could also see myself, sort of below and to the side. It was as if I was standing over my own right shoulder. I then remember understanding that I was no longer in my body, but I didn't mind. I could no longer feel any pain and all of the trauma immediately dissipated.

I then became aware that there was a being to my left. I couldn't actually look at it because it was so bright. I didn't notice a face or anything like that. It seemed to be what I can only describe as a being of fire and it was tall and extremely bright. It wasn't hot though; I didn't feel any heat coming from it. It wasn't cold either. The color was also something I've never seen before or since. It was somewhere between white and gold. The closest thing to this color would be how the sun looks at midday.

It didn't say anything to me, but I understood immediately what it was there for. And it was emitting an intense feeling of love and compassion. It reached down and touched my body on the left side near the stomach area. The moment that it did that, I felt partially back in connection with my body. I felt a sensation of warmth where it touched me that spread throughout my whole body. Along with this came an immense feeling of what I can only describe as pure love and ecstasy. I've never ever felt a feeling as intense and good, before or since.

At that same moment I realized that where this being came from felt like this all the time. I immediately wanted to go with this being. I didn't care about anything or anyone on Earth that I would leave behind. I knew this being was going home and that is where I wanted to be. It refused my request without words. All of this was being communicated through thought, or more like just knowing. I also no longer felt sad for my grandmother's body, because I also knew that she was going with this being and I accepted that. In that moment I felt like she was the lucky one. This exchange felt like several minutes but it was only seconds on the Earth plane. Once it refused me and forced me to stay, I was wholly back in my body.

I was now awake and looking at the praying group face to face. At this point the ambulance had arrived and began prepping me for a long ride to the closest hospital that could treat my condition. The ambulance drivers had told my grandfather that they wouldn't give a nickel for my life at this point because they didn't think I'd make it through the ride.

My mom had beat the ambulance to the hospital. As they arrived with me, they allowed her to walk with the gurney back to the surgery room. I could tell she was very distressed and I smiled at her and told her not to worry that everything was going to be fine because "It" had already healed me.

After a few days in ICU and two weeks in the hospital I was allowed to go home. Shortly after that the surgeon, Dr. Braun, requested a checkup at his office. When we sat down across from his desk, he told me I was extremely lucky to be alive. He also said he didn't understand how I was alive, other than a miracle. He stated that when he went to operate on me that my spleen had been shredded; however, the main artery to my spleen had been cauterized, which had stopped me from completely bleeding out internally.

I really struggled with telling anyone about what happened to me. Firstly, I didn't remember anything until years later, but I had a sense of something profound having taken place. In my early teen years, it had begun to come back via flashbacks and dreams of remembering. At that point I didn't want people to think I was hallucinating or crazy. However, when I was in my late teens, I came across a TV show that was discussing NDEs and the effects on the people that experience them. These stories immediately began to be relatable. They described some of the very same things I had experienced. Now I tend to tell everyone that I get a chance to talk with. I yearn to be able to allow everyone, anyone really, to experience the feeling I had experienced. Nothing compares.

I no longer fear death or mourn the same way others do when someone transitions. I have also had a change in my faith. I have become more spiritual than my previous strict Christian doctrine. I also became comfortable with my sexuality vs. hating myself or thinking I'm broken. I have suffered a bit of depression. I think it's mostly from childhood trauma, but a small part of me still longs to be home and not stuck in this body. I enjoy more nature, reading, connections with people, ability to love all living things, and an expanded awareness.

I've also experienced many of what some would call psychic premonitions, what I call Divine Knowledge, since the incident. I never had that as a young child. I think that short but profound connection with the being left a mark on my life and soul. Similar to how a finger leaves a print on clear glass. Very recently I've struggled with what my purpose is, considering the extraordinary event that took place so many years ago. And finally, the answer came to me, "Tell my people what I have done." I hope this is a step in that direction.