I was only 19 years old when this happened. I certainly didn't expect or ask for it to happen and was extremely surprised when it did.
I wanted to be away from the negative influences that had been the key to me becoming the person I was back then. I think my decision to leave must have come from a small part of me that was immune to the external influences I had allowed to bring down the good in me.
The tiny voice in me grew and matured, increasing in strength and volume despite any efforts on my part to deny it or kill it. My inner self was calling to me, telling me to run away and save myself from the "me" that my mind had been conditioned to tell me I was. I felt this particular voice calling me from my heart. It was the love inside of me, wanting desperately to come out and be free of the prison I kept it in.
I fully intended to get really smashed at my final party with my friends. I reasoned that if I got smashed just one more time before I left town, I would be able to look back later and say I was finally done with all of the substances. In the future, I wanted to associate the substances with the environment I was living in at the time and use the memory to prevent myself from returning to it. Besides, it was just one more time...
Toward the evening, the high I had from alcohol and weed was beginning to get boring. I really wanted the night to be special so I decided I would buy something to spice the pot up a bit. I knew who to talk to if I needed any type of illegal drug and arranged for that friend to get me what really could have been anything. It might have been heroin, crystal T, crack cocaine or PCP for all I know.
I must pause here and say that I do not endorse substance abuse in any form. What I did with the substances detracted from who I was, as well as delayed the potential of the person I was to become in the future. I also for certain don't recommend that anyone attempt to recreate what happened to me by doing what I did. I was lucky to make it back to here from where I went and I am uncertain how that luck will hold for anyone else. There is no way everyone can win when they gamble! I feel the odds on a gamble like the one I took would be sky high.
My dealer friend came back and gave me a rock of what I thought was some kind of cocaine. I didn't really know anything about the stuff. I thought it was a form of coke that you had to crush up. He told me to wait until he came back before I did anything with it. I decided to go ahead and disregard what he said. I crushed about half of it and snorted it. Then I gave the rest to my friends. The friend that got the rock for me came back, smelled what we were smoking, and asked to see it. When he saw what was left, he asked me where the rest was. I told him I snorted it.
My friend had a very worried look on his face. He told me that I screwed up big time because that stuff was not supposed to be snorted like coke. He said he told me to wait. He said I snorted enough to kill me and I would be lucky if I lived through it. Of course, I blew that off completely. I even laughed at him! I felt that I was experienced enough with drugs that I would be OK and told my friend that. Hell, I was an invincible teen. Nothing could hurt me! My friend didn't believe me at all.
Right after that, my friends and I went outside to hang out on the porch and drink some more beers. I could see my parents sitting on their porch from where we were. They were less than fifty yards away. I thought it was pretty funny that there I was, higher than a kite, and they had no idea where I was, what I was doing, or even what I was planning to do! I felt higher than I ever felt in my life and finally thought I felt I was happy at last. I was enjoying myself. It didn't take very long though until I had to sit down because I had trouble standing up. I thought if I sat down that I would be OK and that sitting down under my own power was more attractive than falling down. I sat on the cement porch for a minute. Suddenly, sitting on the cement wasn't working anymore. I started to get a bit scared then because my friend had told me I would probably die. I was starting to get very dizzy, like I was going to lose consciousness.
I laid down on the grass to use the stability of the earth in an effort to maintain my slim hold on reality. I knew I had to do that in order to be able to stay connected enough to ever come back down from this particular high. Being close to the ground was extremely comforting to me, as if I was being held by my mom. The spinning stopped and I faded off into a calm, wonderful sleep. The sleep felt like I was in a cool breeze through a peaceful blackness.
The next thing I remember was riding in my friend's car. My friends were all there with me. I tried to talk to them during the ride but they didn't seem to hear me and I couldn't fully understand what they said. I was only receiving bits and pieces of what they were saying and they couldn't hear what I said at all. We rode around the block and passed directly in front of my childhood home. I remember seeing my parents on the porch and me thinking to duck down in the car. I didn't want my parents to see me like that because then they would know what I didn't want them to know. I remembered that I had done some kind of pretty powerful drug and would get caught for sure if I went home. They would surely punish me if they found out about it.
I thought we drove the way up north in the old blue 74 Chevy Impala 4 door, crossing the Mackinaw Bridge and then turning around to come all the way back to Metro Detroit again. As we traveled, the countryside seemed to me to be in distress. It was like the land was missing something and wasn’t quite how it was supposed to be. It wasn't anything I could really see. It was more something that I felt. We rode around my neighborhood past my childhood home again. I saw my parents still sitting on the porch and wondered why they were still there after the long trip I had taken.
As we rode around my neighborhood, I felt a strange attraction to the trees. I could see and feel their strength. I actually saw and felt their roots reaching deep into the ground. I appreciated how they were able to connect with the planet and contribute to it as much or more than what they took from it. I was awed that they seemed to be able to withstand the changes of the seasons and grow in spite of the influences of humans in general.
I saw some little fairy-like looking beings in and around every tree. They looked like the fairies one might see in fairy tale books. They were male, female, young and old and were as diverse in appearance and demeanor as we are. When I looked directly at them, I think they sensed it, then quickly turned away to melt back into the leaves. If I turned my head, or even blinked, they would be gone without a trace.
One of those beings didn't turn away though. He looked me directly in my eyes and smiled a huge, loving smile that hit me directly in the heart. He was about a foot tall, much bigger and older than the others of his kind. He wore very bright colored clothing and from his smile I knew he was positive. I watched him as we drove away. I wondered why he didn't vanish when I looked at him like the others did.
I don't really remember returning to the house and the party. I told my friends about the car ride after the experience and they told me that the only place I went was to the chair they carried me to after I passed out on the porch. My friends didn't even want to talk about that night to me at all.
What Happened to Me
I thought I woke up in the chair my friends said they put me in. I was in the family room of the house. This was the biggest room in the entire house. I remember there was a bar that actually had liquor in it, a high-powered stereo system, and an assortment of nice furniture to crash on. There was shag carpet on the floor so if need be, someone could crash on the floor. The walls in the room were paneled and there was door on the northern wall of the room. There were two other windows in the room as well. I was in a black Lazy Boy, wondering where my friends were, as well as wondering what my body was doing.
You see, when I woke up, I could feel the organs in my body working, each one separately and in turn in harmony with the others. I could direct my focus on each of my organs and feel their vibration or I could enjoy all of them as one. I could quite plainly hear and feel my heart steadily beating and thoroughly enjoyed feeling my own blood rushing throughout my entire body. Oddly enough, I could actually hear the sounds all of the organs made. They sounded like music. All of them together created a strange, yet familiar and wonderful song of sorts that I cannot even begin to describe. I will say that it was a wonderful harmony that rang true to my heart and the feeling felt right to me.
Eventually, I began to feel my organs begin to shut down. I first felt that my glands were slowing down. As each of them slowed, their part of the beautiful symphony changed. Eventually, when they stopped altogether, their part in the song was gone. Next, went my stomach, liver, and kidneys. Like my glands, all of the rest of my organs slowly stopped, the last of which was my heart. I actually heard the heart stop and felt my blood stop moving. There was an eerie silence then. I didn't know what to think of that at all. I remembered what my friend had told me about doing enough of the drug to kill me, but I was conscious of what I was feeling, so I figured I wasn't dead.
Suddenly, I heard the stereo playing songs from a Doors album, except the volume was way too loud for me. I didn't worry too much then because I thought that if I heard the stereo then I surely couldn't be dead. Needless to say, I felt relieved, but the music was still too loud for me. I had progressed past a point where hearing the song my body had been playing was overridden by Jim Morrison. I did enjoy loud rock music then, and still do, so at that moment I wondered why all of a sudden the music bothered me. At that point, the music began to become very annoying, but it wasn't the same as hearing my body in the amplified manner I had been hearing it. The songs were definitely not the same.
I couldn't see my friends anywhere. I could see in all the rooms of the house at the same time just by thinking about them. The ability seemed totally natural to me and I didn't question it at all. I found the entire house to be empty. All there was in the house was me and the music. Since I didn’t see any friends, I got up and tried to turn the music down but couldn't. I couldn't find the volume control. I couldn't find the plug either. No matter what I did, the music kept playing louder and louder. I knew that stereo well too. I had a serious problem with the noise. It was clawing at me and I couldn't figure out why or how I could adjust the volume or to just turn the thing off.
I called out for my friends and nobody came. I tried to unplug the stereo again but that still didn't work. I found the cord but I couldn't grab it no matter how many times I tried. The stereo just kept on playing songs from a Doors tape. The sound in general rattled my very being. It just grew louder and louder and I couldn't stop it. I had no sense of touch whatsoever. I thought it must be just the effects of the drugs and it would wear off over time. I felt alive, but I still definitely needed to do something about the noise that was growing increasingly louder every second. I became afraid because what I knew to do in this type of situation had no effect.
I ran all over the house calling for my friends, shrieking that the music was too loud. I was not heard. I didn't see them around anyway. I resorted to begging for the music to be turned down. I tried to go outside to escape the noise but since I couldn't feel the doorknob, I couldn't turn it. I saw the daylight outside through the window but couldn't get out there.
I looked out the window. Everything outside looked very odd to me. Everything was more detailed than normal. I saw colors around things I could not see before and didn't know what they were. I really wanted to go out there and explore the world, but couldn't figure out how I could make that happen. I was curious. Opening doors and windows and turning down the volume all were beyond my capabilities at that point.
I ended up hiding in the bathroom in an unsuccessful attempt to escape the noise. I tried to pee but couldn't grab it. I tried to wash my face but couldn't work the faucet. Like the stereo, the door, and everything else, I couldn't feel any of them. I couldn't even pick up a towel so I could use it to muffle the music that seemed to be crawling toward me through the bottom of the door!
I happened to look in the mirror and discovered that I couldn't see myself. That put me over the edge right then and there. I started to panic. I could not see me, feel me, or touch me or anything else. I ran around the house crying like a baby and calling for my friends to help me, but nobody answered me and nobody came to help. Running was becoming harder to do too. Have you ever run in a dream and not gotten anywhere? That is exactly what trying to move around felt like to me.
I finally found my way back into the family room and saw my body sitting in the chair. It looked like I was sleeping. I wondered how I could be looking at myself. I was kind of glad to see me there, but wondered then how I could be in two places at once. I became even more scared then because I saw me from outside of me from all different angles, except from the inside angle I was used to seeing from. All I had to do was think of the angle I wanted and immediately my view changed to the one I thought of, except that inside one. I didn't like how I looked in any of the angles. I looked ugly and I could tell there was something missing. I had this feeling that what was missing was me that was looking at my body. I still felt alive though.
I was alone too. I was confused and terrified. I frantically attempted to get back into my body by sitting on it a few times but couldn't connect to it. My body seemed every bit as untouchable as everything else I tried touching. I couldn't touch the ground either. I was floating. I rose up slowly into a spot just above and to the left of my body and kind of just hung there for a bit. It became even harder to move. I screamed out for help again and nobody came. Somehow I managed to get to the door again, but like before, I still couldn't touch the doorknob. I didn't know what to do. All of the things I thought I should do, I couldn't do because my physical self would not accept the commands I gave it. I didn't understand what was happening to me at all and had run out of ideas of what to do about it.
I went back near my body and thought to ask God to help me. I figured that lots of people pray to something, maybe it would work for me too. I did believe in God then, but I was kind of angry at him because of the difficult life I was experiencing. I reasoned that if God were really the omnipotent and omniscient being the Christian religions taught me he was, he would not have allowed me to experience the pain and hardship I had experienced throughout my life. I felt that since that God allowed me to experience the suffering I must have done something to deserve it. After all, the churches said that not following the commandments meant damnation and punishment eternal. I thought maybe since I didn't live my life perfectly according to what the religions taught me I was experiencing punishment for it through my suffering.
I used to pray to God quite a bit as a child because I knew in my heart that there was such a being and that was well before I was taught of him by the churches. The Gods the churches taught me and the God I knew in my heart were very different. When I prayed for keeps, I prayed to the God of my heart, not the ones the churches sought to make me aware of. It’s hard for me to explain really. I think the difference between the two is that the God that the churches taught me was a God who punishes while the God of my heart is loving and kind and does not punish. He creates positive things. The God of my heart would accept me regardless of what I had ever done and help me try to fix it. The God of the churches seemed to me to be conditional with his love, even to the point that he would choose to give up on his creations and destroy them or send them to what they call hell. I didn't believe in the God of the churches because I didn't feel God to be unable to love without condition.
Actually, the more deeply I thought about it, I knew the God of my heart was the only friend I had that I could talk to and trust he would listen. I was certain he would help me regardless of anything I have ever done, if I approached him with the feelings of my heart. I thought that if there ever was a time I needed that God, it was now! I thought: “God, my friend, I really need some help here and I know that if anyone can help me, it would be you. Will you please help me? I think I might have seriously messed up this time.” I wasn't disappointed with the result of my plea for help.
The Light Being
For some reason, I glanced over to the door leading to the outside and saw this extremely beautiful being just over there, floating exactly the same way I was floating. His feet didn't touch the floor either. They just blended into thin air, like my own feet did. He had some sort of robe on that was light in color, a sort of off-white. His hair was a light brown, very curly, somewhat long, and it shimmered around him as he floated. His face was very pleasant to see. He looked female, male and young like me. His gender was really inconclusive. If I perceived him to be male, he appeared to seem more male in appearance. If I chose to perceive him to be female, he appeared to be more female. From either point of view there was no way for me to decide this thing’s sex at all. At that point, gender wasn't all that important to me anyway. The being was here when nobody else was there. He was all I had at the moment. The Doors began to fade away.
He was about my size. There was a shimmering glow about him too. The glow was green close to him, then blue, then pure white in the upper areas. He looked so awesome! He spoke to me. He said, "I am here to help you,” but when he spoke his mouth didn't move. I didn't actually hear him speak. I felt what he was saying and there was no doubt in my mind that he was talking directly to me.
As I looked at this beautiful being and felt it speaking to me, my fears faded away. The music by then had faded completely away. I actually felt peace and comfort like I never felt before. I thought that maybe this was the peace I was searching for my entire life. This feeling of peace started to become strangely familiar to me, like I had felt it before but not in this life. I thought that maybe this being was God. He knew I thought that, smiled an affectionate smile, and said, “No, I am not God.” I was amazed he knew what I was thinking and figured that this is how we were going to communicate.
This wonderful being then called me by a name I really wish I would remember. I told him he must have the wrong guy and that the name he used for me wasn't my name. He said I had just forgotten who I am.
This being told me his name, but I don’t remember it and I'll explain why later. For now I'll call him Bob, just to give him a name. He told me that he had always been with me and told me that he knew that I had a very hard life and that he would help me understand why that was so, if I really wanted to know. He told me he would help me remember who I really am. He said he would understand if I didn't believe him and then offered to prove to me that he knew everything about me.
Bob told me things that I did when I was a child that proved to me that he was always with me. He told me about things I had only thought about and never expressed to anyone. Basically, he told me my deepest and darkest secrets. He provided some examples of what caused me to become so depressed and angry so early in my life. He showed me why I became the way I am. He told me what I thought of and how I felt when I went to bed at the ages of two and three. He knew all of my personal stuff, for sure.
He then offered that I was someone from history whose name I did recognize at the time and that I had returned to physical form this time to complete what I had started back then. He said that he would help me to remember who I am. Bob said that “David Oakford” was my name in this physical existence only. He explained that I am someone else in spirit and that I would eventually combine both David and my spirit self with each other in a nice harmonic balance. I would eventually combine the best qualities of both of those aspects of myself in this lifetime if should choose to apply myself in a manner that would create the harmony within me. He said it was entirely my free choice and my task and if I chose not to apply myself in that manner it would be OK. There would be consequences either way.
He said that I was one of the very first of my kind on the planet. I carry a special part in me that would help populate the planet with people who would help their fellow humans and the planet to restore their harmony with the universe. I didn't fully understand it then, but I do strongly agree that this planet needs something or someone to help it along. I feel the special part that he mentioned is either my DNA or the love which lives in my heart and my DNA.
I liked talking telepathically. His language was very eloquent and sometimes difficult to understand; however, he understood me perfectly and I could understand enough of the main points he made. The expression on his face was a happy one all the time and when he spoke to me he did so in a manner that was positive, assertive, and nurturing in tone. He did not criticize me or my family at all. I don’t remember anything he said which I could possibly construe as negative in nature.
I remembered the church talking about Satan and hell. They say hell is a place that is essentially a lake of fire and Satan can disguise himself in order to deceive you into going there. Bob told me that hell and Satan are none of my concern. He said I was a positive light being and I should look at other entities by examining their intent. If their intent benefits only them or is negative toward others I might not want to interact with them. Bob was always positive. I could see his intent was positive.
He told me I could travel with him to anywhere I wanted to go and he would show me how to do it if I wanted him to. He said if I felt the need to come back to see my body at any time, I could do that. I was skeptical. I guess he felt my concern about my body and me separating. He explained that my body would be fine because I had a spiritual cord connected to it somehow and would stay connected until I made my own free choice to disconnect myself from it.
I was faced with deciding where I wanted to go. For sure, I wanted to leave that house and my childhood neighborhood, but I had difficulty deciding where I wanted to go. Although I somewhat trusted this being, I still had my doubts as to if what he was telling me was true. Eventually I figured that since this being was with me, I chose to give him the benefit of that doubt. After all, he came as a result of me asking the God of my heart to help me and I felt it might not be a good idea to question what I was given too much. What else did I have to do anyway?
I thought that it might be fun to see the Seven Wonders of the World. I thought that I might have chosen something more profound given the wide-ranging option I was given, but the Seven Wonders were what I thought of first and in retrospect, I feel I chose as wisely as I possibly could at the time.
Bob laughed, and then proceeded to explain to me that there are different types of wonders, natural and ones built by humans. Many of them have been destroyed. He said he would show me two, Egypt and the Southwest USA. I had already seen and felt the Grand Canyon as a boy but he said if I still wanted to go there again it would be fine. See Egypt and the Grand Canyon? Hell yes! I was going to go!
He told me that all I had to do was trust him, think about where I wanted to go, and we would go. I thought about the pyramids, trusted my guide and we arrived in Egypt in an instant! It was like we got there in merely the scant time it takes to form a thought!
Traveling the Planes of Existence
I don't know why I chose the pyramids, but they were my first thought so I went with it. I saw the pyramids as they were in 1979 as well as how they were in the ancient times. When I saw them, I saw them from each point of view separately, and then I saw spirit people from both eras coexisting together. I asked how it could be that the past and present could be together as one and was told that the life on the planet worked that way in order to be in harmony with itself. It’s just how it is. What I was seeing were the energies of different dimensions and what I was shown was how they interact.
I saw how the choices of the past help determine the options for the choices of the present. I also saw how the choices made in the present potentially affect what will occur in the future. The beings I saw from the past would make their choices and the beings in the present would see the options for their choices based on what the beings in the past had chosen.
I understood that I was once a part of the past that I was seeing and felt that my existence as a human this time was directly related to something I had done in that particular past life. I played the role of a bad guy and did something that killed a bunch of people. I don't remember exactly what that was.
My current life's mission was somehow related to the decision I made then. My guess is this time I'm a good guy and need to be really good to right the wrongs I am responsible for.
The past and current eras rivaled each other in beauty and from the point of view I had then the harmony of the choices I observed made perfect sense to me. The pyramids were white and the city there was flourishing in the ancient view, the other view was a modern city.
While we were there, I was told some things about the pyramids and Egypt I do not fully remember now. I do not remember the specifics but the subject pertained to the energy of the planet and the role the pyramids have played and still can potentially play in it. There were also facts given about the function of the pyramids and an explanation of why as well as how they were built.
I really do wish I could remember the specifics of what he explained while we were there because I do know they were highly significant and concerned mankind's future. I think that I might not remember the specifics of this because I might not yet be ready to remember, humanity is not yet ready for me to share them, or that particular memory was taken away somehow.
I had seen and experienced all that I could in Egypt. My friend explained to me the why and how of things there which I previously had no idea even existed and wouldn't and couldn't possibly have thought of myself. After Bob had enlightened the soul “me” of those things, I saw no reason to stay there. Besides, I still could pick wherever I wanted to go and I wanted to take full advantage of that. I felt that if there was so much for me to learn from going to but one tiny place on the planet, there was no limit as to what I could see and learn now.
We left Egypt and proceeded toward the southwest United States. We flew there slowly because I wanted to see the sights along the way. I wanted to see this entire planet with the vision I had then. On the way I saw the countries of the Far East and the Pacific Ocean. As we flew I could see the energies of the countries we passed. I saw that if the area we were near had large cities, the energy was less in intensity from a natural standpoint than it was in the undeveloped areas.
I felt and saw great energies as we flew above the Pacific Ocean as well. I was told that the oceans were where the energies of the planet were the most natural in essence. There were only a few select places on the land with energy that rivaled that in the oceans. The reason given for that was that humans have not yet affected the energies in those places as they have on the rest of the landmasses. These were very special places, and there were not many of them. They had to do with the planet’s purest energies.
It seemed to me that the choices made by humans had a direct correlation with the energies of the entire planet. If humans lived in an area, the energy there was definitely not the same as the natural areas.
The energies I saw in the cities of eastern countries like India, Tibet, the Middle East and Africa were higher in level than those I eventually saw in the United States. The reason given was that groups of people in those countries were more in tune with the energies of the planet and the universe than groups in the United States. It seemed that the more the development, the more negative energy.
The energies of the United States were definitely different. Night was falling in the southwest US when we arrived in the area. I could see clearly the energies emanating from everything in view, especially the plant and animal life. In keeping with everything I had seen thus far, the energy was strongest in the areas of the land that had the least amount of humans. It was cool to see the lights from the cities.
I felt a strange attraction to the moon too. It looked even prettier than it normally does, if that’s possible.
I was shown souls who had higher energy levels and some of them actually talked to the being I was with. Those entities were the higher-level beings that worked in the cities and at the special energy places of the world. Some of them were just like my friend and others were more like me. The ones like him were very high in vibration and the ones like me were lower in vibration, but I could see that it was because they were still attached to their physical bodies in the same manner as I was. The difference between those who had a physical body and those who didn't was readily apparent due to the intensity of their vibration. Physical bodies had less energy; souls in spirit have more.
During the whole time the being and I spent on the planet Earth, I also saw dark souls. The dark souls were earthbound spirits who refuse to go to the Light. The Light is a sort of portal souls can go to if they choose, but for them to choose it, they would have to acknowledge it was there and make a conscious decision within themselves to go to it. If they can't or won't do it, they remain on the earth and wander aimlessly or stay stranded wherever they are. Over time, they forget everything and the opportunity to go to the Light fades for them. I myself saw no Light. [Continued]