Let me start by saying that I’m a 53-year-old female that previous to my NDE certain things about me were, and still are, different from much of the general population. I’ve found from my own research that these things may have to do with my blood type which is O negative. The things that were and still are different: lower than normal heart rate and body temperature, psychic, ESP and empathic abilities, light bulbs have never lasted very long around me and blow out quite frequently. I’ve always been aware of the spirit realm and have had many paranormal occurrences throughout my life. Whenever someone close to me passes away they always make contact in some way shortly after their death. As far as my NDE, mine seems to be different from so many that I’ve read about. This is my experience:
September 10, 2015 (I was 50 years old at this time.)
Let me start this by saying that I have some compression in my cervical spine that was sometimes affecting my central nervous system and causing vertigo and anxiety. Because of this, during that time in 2015, my doctor had me on alprazolam (Xanax) as needed to help in relieving these symptoms. I no longer need to take this drug as other conservative methods are being utilized at this time.
A friend and I decided to spend the day at a public park a couple of hours from where we live. This park is near a lake and small town with not much around the area. Before we left in the morning I chose to take 1/2 of a pill (Xanax) because I would be the one driving and didn’t want an episode of vertigo during this time. As my body was used to taking this pill there was no feeling of being high, just calm. We got to our destination around lunch time so we had a picnic lunch and shared a bottle of wine. Yes, I knew that Xanax and alcohol isn’t a good mix but I thought that enough time had passed, four hours, that it would be okay. We then also smoked a small amount of marijuana which I hadn’t done in years. Again, apparently not a good idea. It wasn’t long before I wasn’t feeling well. I was very nauseous and felt I was going to vomit. So I sat at the picnic table with my head down to try to calm this feeling. At this time I could feel myself going in and out of my body so I decided that laying down might be a better idea. So I laid on the grass with my friend next to me who knew I wasn’t feeling well. We also didn’t want to draw attention to ourselves so we were trying to make it seem like everything was okay.
After laying on the grass I started to feel a pressure in my chest and I was short of breath. I told my friend that I wasn’t going to talk anymore for a little while because it was hard to breathe and that I was just going to relax and try to feel better. I didn’t share with her all that was going on because I figured after some time that I’d feel better and I didn’t want to worry her. The pressure in my chest was getting much worse and I was very short of breath. I was trying to calm myself because I wanted to believe it was an anxiety attack. Finally I knew that wasn’t the case and that instead it may be a heart attack happening. I still didn’t want to worry my friend and also realized that because of where we were, even if she were to call an ambulance that it probably wouldn’t matter, as the closest hospital was at least 2 hours away.
I started to feel very calm, though the pressure in my chest and shortness of breath were becoming very intense and I decided to just surrender to that calmness. In the next moment I was in a very dark area; blackness surrounded me. I wasn’t afraid. Then I felt a presence to the right of me. I also felt that even if I’d turned in a circle that I’d not see the presence, that it would stay to my right out of my sight. I suddenly felt a connection to all the knowledge that there is in the universe. I realized that I didn’t even need to form a question in my mind because the second I’d start to do that, I’d have the answer. I noticed directly in front of me now was what I can only assume was the veil to the other side, heaven.
This veil had an iridescent appearance and appeared to be undulating and had what looked like a golden ribbon surrounding it. This was when the presence to my right spoke telepathically to me. It let me know that I could go through if I chose, but that if I did, that I couldn’t come back. Then looking into this veil I started to see a pinprick of light far in the distance that was getting bigger. I assumed that the light getting bigger was going to form a tunnel but I don’t know that for sure. At this time I felt slightly afraid because I wasn’t exactly sure of what the light was that I was seeing. Part of me very much wanted to go through the veil because of curiosity and the other half of me apparently wasn’t ready to do it permanently, so I made it known that I wanted to come back. Almost immediately I was back in my body.
Many times since this experience I wish I had waited to see what the light would’ve become and if I’d have experienced the overwhelming joy, love and peace that I’ve since read that so many have experienced. I also assume that if I had, that I wouldn’t have come back since it appears to have been my choice either way. I also find myself questioning as to why I wasn’t told, “It’s not your time, you have to go back,” like so many, if not most, have heard. Again, I can only guess, but I feel that I must have already accomplished my reasons for being here and that I was just granted the extended time that I was originally given. Since being back I now seem to be allergic to many things, have a sensitivity to light, and seem as if I straddle both worlds. As if I have a foot on both sides much more than before. I also, though I’ve not yet done it, feel a calling to work with hospice patients. I also recently have been researching and trying to find more NDEs similar to my own. I’ve found some that were similar, but not many.