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Upside Down Yet Infinitely Perfect

When I was 15, I was canoeing with a friend when the boat capsized. My legs were caught under the front seat, so I ended up head down in the water with the boat upside down on top of me.

I hung there, fighting to get free, for what seemed like a long time. Suddenly, I realized I couldn't get free and something in me gave up. I relaxed. The next thing I was aware of I was looking down on my body from the entrance to a tunnel.The tunnel was very bright. My body was on the shore being given CPR. (Later I was told my friend swam me to shore but there was no pulse or breathing. I don't remember experiencing that part.)

I had an overwhelming feeling of perfectness...everything was exactly perfect. I was experiencing everything, there was nothing left to find, it was all there and it was infinite. (Later I realized that what I was experiencing was a lot like what quantum physics calls the wave function of the double slit experiment...infinite potential before the wave collapses...it was like I was in the infinite potential of the waves). All possibilities were there, complete. I was complete. There are no words that fit that feeling. Joy, happiness don't even come close. Perfectness comes closest. I don't remember feeling sad that my body was not with me. I don't remember wanting to go back. Then I was back. Not sudden, not traumatic, it just happened. Because I knew no one would believe me, I never talked about it until now. I realize, looking back, that it profoundly changed my life. I no longer felt I needed to succeed, in fact I no longer believed I could succeed. Not only was it not important, it was impossible...there was some kind of block that would not let me succeed. Everything was just outside my grasp. I have had several instances where a flash picture enters my head with a warning about the future and they have always come true. I've also been able to "feel" where an animal that I'm close to is hurt internally. I've picked up an injured hummingbird, given it water, and watched it fly away only to come back and land on my hand (hummingbirds never do that). I've had swallows follow me into my house and make a lot of noise to let me know there was something wrong outside (one time their baby had fallen out of the nest and I was able to put it somewhere safe. The parents were able to raise it successfully.) I can tell when a song will come on the radio. There are so many things it's hard to list them. I'm just different.

Thanks for your work. It's such a relief to know there are people out there who don't think I'm crazy.

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