My first memory is in the ER, laying on a gurney. My parents were standing on the side of the bed talking with doctors. They said for my parents to contact my children, it didn't look good.
If I survived they said I would be a vegetable for the rest of my life. I was screaming at them, the sheet over my body was so white and crisp, but they kept ignoring me & I didn't understand why they were ignoring me. I yelled that I was fine & right here. I had no idea why I was there or what happened to me.
I still have no memory of that day or the 48 hours before. I looked fine, I wasn't bleeding or in any pain, my hair was all curled for a date that afternoon. My dad was talking about my kids, having to call them at college & if they could come or not. He talked about my youngest, Parker, who was with my ex-husband. He didn't feel he should contact him, since he wouldn't be able to fly here alone or be taken care of if he came. He felt it was just too hard of a situation. I was very upset! Your saying, "I'm going to die," but you won't let me see my nine year old before I go? Then I am over my body, floating like an angel, and my hospital gown flowed like an evening gown all in white. I looked beautiful. My body was weightless over my empty shell of a physical body.
It was then that I realized my soul had left my body. My parents were holding my hand talking to me. I felt that I had already left this world. I could feel a very warm bright light behind me while I floated above my head lifeless on the gurney. I felt in total peace. It was calm, even though my parents were so upset. I turned towards the light...I could see something off in the distance, but it was foggy. The tunnel of light was very long & I felt that I moved at a very slow pace, just enjoying myself. I thought I was someplace in between death & heaven, but still very far from heaven. The image appeared to me & it was my dead grandfather, I haven't seen him since his passing in the 70's. He is my dad's father.
He and I were very close and I am his only granddaughter & baby of the kids. He looked amazing! There was no horizon line dividing were he stood. There was nothing but a huge beam of white bright light that was so warm. He had on the outfit he always wore. He was exactly how I remembered him. His white hair and black glasses, he even had his pipe lit. He wore his white short sleeved shirt that was starched, with a pocket on the left side. He had on black pants with a belt and his polished black shoes with his laces tied neatly. He was so happy to see me. I asked him if he needed me to come with him. He told me "No," and that it wasn't my time. He needed me to go back to help my dad, because he was going to need me. We said goodbye. I turned around and he was gone, the light was gone and I was back in my body.
I was in a coma for 10 days, I heard everything, operations, nurses talking about dating. They thought they had washed my hair to take me to the morgue. I felt I was left there because I was dead and wondered if that's what it's like when you die. It was black and I wasn't alone.