Newest Accounts

These NDE accounts were submitted to our website and are published here anonymously. Minor edits have been made to protect the identity of the experiencer and others who may have been involved with the experience. Note to researchers and authors: IANDS cannot grant permission to publish quotations from these NDE accounts because we have not received permission from the NDE authors to do so. However, we advise authors who wish to use quotations from these accounts to follow the Fair Use Doctrine. See our Copyright Policy for more information. We recommend adopting this practice for quotations from our web site before you have written your book or article.

Male sexual abuse survivor's NDE results in increased psychic abilities

The light has been with me my whole life. I've had premonitions throughout my whole life. I'm a childhood sexual abuse survivor and the first time the light came to me that I can remember is when I was first abused. On different occasions in my life I went through serious trauma and when I did, I was visited by a light that I would visit myself when I was 21.

When I would have the light visit me, I would go into an ecstatic state and predict future events, even act them out. This was usually during times after I was abused or people around me were. One particular time, my friends were abused by a teacher I had in the 6th and 7th grade. I was fed up, so I banged on the door where it was taking place and told him I was going to call the police. He proceeded to push me over and step on my chest restricting my breathing. After he let me go, I went into an ecstatic state and was visited by the light that I myself would visit some 9 years later. I predicted some horrible things that a particular cartel did to children in Mexico and I think this was the light’s way of telling me they were going to be all right.

Years later, after I finished school, I started to experiment with drugs, particularly psychedelics, and my favourite was LSD. One week I got quite an amount of LSD and started taking it for days on end, more and more each day. I had no sleep over a period of 5 days after which I passed out and went into a dream state, which now looking back was a visual premonition. It wasn't anything grand, just what was going to happen to me the next day.

After this vision ceased, I woke up to my heart stopping abruptly. I was then out of my body, on my knees, looking at my body lying on the mattress. My spirit looked up and I could see a light in the distance, then I shot up like a rocket into the light which was yellow and I felt supreme love and joy. The further I got into the light, the whiter it became until I started to merge with it. I was losing all sense of self and that was a little bit unnerving. Then I slammed back down into my body in an instant and took a huge gasp of air because I hadn't been breathing, then I went to sleep.

I awoke the next day and my premonition proved true. Since then I have had many dream premonitions of the next day's events. I now also have a myriad of psychic experiences like psychokinesis of a kind and almost a god-like flow to my life. I have now become accustomed to it, but it is still a comforting thing to have these abilities.

Following childbirth, woman passes dark place and heals her brain bleed

I had post-partum pre-eclampsia (I think core eclampsia as well, but wasn’t officially diagnosed). I was lying in bed and couldn’t get up, so tired. And I remember thinking, “I could just die here and I would be at peace.” I didn’t think much of it until much (months/year) later. I was awakened by my spouse and he told me I should get up. I had been napping a while. I felt very unusual, but thought it was probably normal since I just had a baby. But then I got this terrible headache; I couldn’t see. I had to close my eyes and told my spouse there’s something wrong, we had to go to the hospital.

As we arrived at the hospital, I was still feeling very weird, like just tired and “dying” in a way. They said I had post-partum pre-eclampsia (99% death, as it’s rare and they think the cure is having the baby, so post-partum is unknown). My blood pressure was 180s/130s. They immediately put me on a machine and started putting blood pressure medication in. The machines broke and they couldn’t see what was happening. I felt I was slipping away but still coherent. A doctor came in and I remember him putting a jacket on fast and telling me I needed a magnesium treatment now or I could have a stroke and/or die. I agreed (normally I question what goes in my body, but I didn’t this time). 

They put me in a very dark room and I remember my spouse and baby being there. The machines still weren’t working. The nurse told my spouse he could go home and I agreed. We both needed rest. As I fell “asleep” I saw in the corner passed loved ones, mostly my souse’s family, and Angels. The Angels weren’t like what are in books. They are light, beings of light, and later take form. 

The Angels and Mother Mary went with me through this place/space/time. I was not previously religious (didn’t know anything about Angels and didn’t even believe in God). I’m still not religious, I just know what I know is real.

We passed by a dark place, it was dark and gray and had dark shapes and forms. I just said, “I’m not going there.” We then went through a beautiful vibrant place! So colorful, not like colors here on earth, much more vibrant! Beautiful shapes and butterflies. And a wedding dress. I was in Awe at the beauty.

I said, “I’m not ready to die; I’d like to see my kids grow older and be with my family.” I was then shown what I think was a “life review.” I was shown my children grown up, birthdays passing and them smiling. I felt good. It was then I found gratitude. I laughed a little and said, “Well, if that’s all I get, I have to be thankful. But I would still like to live.”

I went to this beautiful place that words can’t describe. It was full of unconditional love!! Oh, it was lovely. I call it Heaven since that’s all I can equate it to in human terms. I had no form; I was just in this white light and in this bliss feeling. I don’t know how long all this was, but I came out and saw blood in my brain.

As I saw my brain bleeding, I was guided on how to heal it. I was shown how to suck out this blood, and as I was doing this it was as if something was holding my hands, guiding me in doing this.  I didn’t even have my literal human hands, but my self outside my body and something else using my “hands” to heal. Once all the blood was gone, I came back to the here and now and “woke up.”

I have always had a gift to communicate with the other side; in fact, I was given a message on taking care of my body before this. I was guided to change hospitals. So many “coincidences” weren’t at all. But I didn’t know why or what it all meant until this happened. Even when I was able to communicate with the other side, I didn’t share with people and had shut these gifts down.

Once I had this experience, I was told I needed to share these gifts, and bring Heaven to Earth in all hearts and homes, help bring Divine Mother ways back, and remind people they have a unique path and purpose. I am a regular conduit for Mother Mary, The Angels, and communicate with Yeshua, Buddha and other Highest “Divine” teachers of Love and Wisdom.

Journey to Expanded Consciousness

Journey to Expanded Consciousness by Michael Tamura

In each of my 5 near-death experiences, every single one is different. As well as any recall I have from previous lifetime endings, at least for me, and I think it is for a lot of people when each time they die, they're in a different place. They're inside. It's where you are in your consciousness and your spiritual development that you in a sense, you can say ‘go’ to a different space. And it's not ‘go’ as in a geographical going, it's much more inner space of spiritual awareness and energy. And so, each time we die, obviously, we've grown since the last time, as in my experiences, just amongst those five times during the span of eight years from 2004 to 2012. Even though the times in between those deaths were not that long, it wasn't like, you know, one whole lifetime or anything like that.

The first NDE on the physical side, I was in a great deal of pain due to severe gout. For most people, it’s one joint or another.  Well, mine was so severe, it was all over my body. And the pain was like, you know, I thought I had pretty good high pain threshold until well, after that it was just like, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy kind of a thing. But it was so huge, the pain was so big and not ending. It was going on and on and on. And I was just really deteriorating. I was lying in bed. My wife, Raphaelle, was off doing some errands and I'm looking at it, like, how much longer can I handle this? And so, finally it got so bad, I just said, “God, I don't know how much longer I can go on like this.” Bam. I was taken out.

Immediately, I was escorted by this magnificent being and it's an angelic being that some people experience and know as the Archangel Michael. And he came and escorted me to this, like, conference room. It was like this elaborate or very elegant, high end boardroom and with those long wooden tables and here I'm escorted in. There's an empty seat there toward the end of the table. And there's five, this Michael and the other four great beings sitting there waiting for me. And as soon as I arrived, they all get up. It was like a fanfare. It was a great experience of welcoming, congratulations, you're done, the whole bit. And they're very happy and I was…it was so great, great to be there!

Then they had me sit down and they said, “Okay, you have done more than what you've contracted for this lifetime. Far more than that. So, you're all done. And you can stay here with us and continue your work on the spiritual from the spiritual side of things or you're free to go back if you'd like. And my experience at that moment was like a blank, at least in my experience, every time I'm out of the body, there's no time. There's no pain. There's no anything like that. And I don't even think about the body or going back to earth or anything like that. It's just I'm here, it’s great. And I'm thinking, ‘Do I want to go back?’ and there was no desire. Either way. I'm perfectly great to stay in spirit and continue. And because I already knew I'm continuing in spirit, whatever work I'm doing. I didn't mind if I got sent back. That was fine. So, I just said, “I don't know, I, I don't have a choice. I don't have any.” There was no desire one way or the other. I thought, ‘Oh, here's my opportunity. I'm surrounded by these magnificent beings, enlightened beings.’ And so I said, “Well, what would you say in your combined wisdom? Would it be more advantageous, would it be more beneficial, not just to myself but for anyone involved in my life? Or if I stayed here and worked with everyone here in spirit?” And they answered instantly, “If you go back, you would be of way greater benefit.”

I thought, okay, that's pretty simple. And I said, “For me, it doesn't matter which way. So yeah, okay, I'll go back.” And it's easy to make those kinds of decisions when you're out of the body and spirit because, you know, there's no pain, there's nothing and then they go, “Okay great, we’ll send you back.” and the same great angelic being escorted me out of the room. We're going back and the moment I start to head back to my body, is when I all of a sudden realize, oh, excruciating pain! What am I doing? So, before I was out of that place altogether, I just turned around and said, “If I'm going back…I'll be happy to go back, but I'm going to need some help in healing. So, in that condition I’m in when I left, I'd be good for nobody, including myself.” The only last word I hear from them is, “Fine.” It's very economical, right? No chitchat, just, “Fine.” Okay, great.

So, I come in [to the body] and I can literally feel like I'm kickstarted, you know, my heart just goes like this. And I'm back. And I'm going, okay, I'm back. And I check into the body and yes, the pain was there, but I had so much more energy. I had so much more of myself. Coming back… it's like being reborn. Whoa! Okay, so I can handle this a lot better. It's not like [the pain is] doing me in.  Then I hear in my right ear, a voice that says very deliberate, “Okay, go turn on your computer and look up uric acid.  By that point, I probably could have had a PhD in gout. I knew more about it than anything I can find anywhere. So, I said, “Okay, but I'm being told to do that. So, I go and type it in and all the same things coming up in the search engine, everything. But then I see something flashing on the upper right corner of the screen. It's the area where they had the advertising, you know, the paid promotions and stuff, which I never looked at, because I wasn’t interested in that. I was interested in the information. And I look and there's an ad that I've never seen there before, for a new herbal product for gout. I thought, I'm supposed to look at that. So, I click it on. Long story short, is I get into communication on email with the founder of this company. I asked all these questions. I told him my situation, what I've been through, and he said, “Oh, you’ve got to do this and that. I followed through on that. It took a while, but it got better and better and better. It got to the place where I could manage it. Plus, it's an acute condition where when it hits, it lays you out. But in between, it's like nothing…is perfectly normal. Then I found a doctor who was a much more holistic type of a doctor and helped me with my nutritional levels and supplements and all that. Great! So, I was on my way, on that level.

Then my guides told me that, “This is a brand-new contract and brand new ‘lifetime’, so to speak.” They said, “Anything before that death experience, any commitments, promises, whatever, it's all wiped clean. You don't have to do anything from before. You can just start fresh now and get going on the next phase.” And I said, “Okay, but the way I am, I'm looking at all these people I've had commitments with, made promises to and had appointments with, blah, blah, blah. I said, Well, would it not be good if I kept those and finished them out? Once I finish them up, then I'll start the next phase. And this will give me a chance to kind of recuperate on the physical end of things too.” And they said, “That's fine. That's up to you.” So, I said, “Okay, yeah, I want to finish out these commitments.”

It took me two whole years to finish them out. I remember like the day I'm finished, I'm going, “Okay, that's all done. Now I can start fresh.” That's when I had my first heart attack. This is the real, literally amusing part of how these things happen…is the night before my heart attack, my wife and I were invited to a healer’s Healing Center, because there was a gathering of a lot of spiritual healers, teachers and authors. One of the people there was a well-known author and spiritual teacher, who it was his birthday. So, the Healing Center Director was hosting this birthday party for his author friend. So, we get invited, we go and it’s a great place, fine, fun, people everything. Now here comes the birthday cake with the candles and they're singing happy birthday to this man. He blows out the candles and everything. Well, unbeknownst to me, somebody found out during the evening that my birthday was going to be in about four days after that. So, they go, “Well, we can't let you go without celebrating your birthday too.” So, somebody had gone and gotten a whole other birthday cake and they had all these candles on it. She brings the cake over and tells me, “Okay, Michael, you have to close your eyes and you have to make your wish and then blow out the candles.” I close my eyes and I'm having fun. It's like being a kid. And I'm thinking, ‘Okay, what do I wish for? I don't want to just make a frivolous wish.’  As soon as I asked that question, everything went like, very spacious. And inside, from the middle of my head, this golden light started to expand. It just got bigger and bigger and bigger until this golden light was expanding. And I realized all this is the light of the Christ. This is a Christ-like, and yeah, I had this idea. Oh, that would be great. I would like for my wish to embody more of the Christ. [Christ Consciousness, Christ's energy]. Yeah, and I felt good about that. I opened my eyes, blew out the candles, everybody clapped, and started singing Happy Birthday. All went well.

We drive back that night, back to our house in Mount Shasta at that time, and I go to sleep like usual. Then I become aware of being in this total bliss, this everlasting, eternal, limitless bliss. That's all is in my consciousness. I don't even realize I'm sleeping, It's just total bliss. And then I start to realize, I'm coming back into my body that's in the bed. And the bliss is still there, the whole bliss is there, but I'm in the body a little bit more. This is interesting. Then I realized, oh, I have an important appointment this morning, a man from Israel, who was the head of this nonprofit foundation. He and his best friend from childhood, a Pakistani man, and this Israeli man, both in the medical supplies field, got together, both very wealthy. They were having lunch one day and said, “We really cannot allow our children to grow up hating each other [the Israelis and the Palestinians]”. And they said, “We’ve got to do something about it. So, they put together their resources and made this foundation that was going to be devoted to healing that situation. Educating the kids from early on, that this is nonsense to hate each other. But then the one guy, the Israeli man said, “There's one piece missing.” They already had various ministers of different countries and heads of states, being on their board, and everything. They realize it has to be International. The other guy said, “There's some kind of spiritual part missing.” So, this man took nine months sabbatical, just started to follow by intuition and what he heard on a spiritual level was, “Go wherever in the world you are sent to and talk to whomever you are sent to talk to.” He ends up in a conference that I was one of the keynote speakers on the last day. And I get up, starting off talking about children. He cornered me afterwards and said, “I was almost about to leave the conference, because I didn't find anything there that I thought was useful until you opened your mouth. I want to talk to you. So, we made this appointment for that morning.

I'm waking up in this total bliss and I remember the appointment. I have to get dressed and get out of bed to go take a shower. But before I can get there, something happens. I'm like my whole world is upside down inside spinning. Everything is just like in ‘flames’. My wife comes in and she's a very good psychic. She asked, “Are you having a heart attack?” I've never had one before, but I used to be a nurse, when I was young in my late teens and up to about 20 years old.  So, I go back into my early training and apply: What's the symptomology? No? I don't feel like that's correct. None of the symptoms that I learned, fit. So, I said, “No, I don't think so. But I would like a healing, something's really off and something's going on. I think it's the Kundalini energy, whatever, but, but I'd like some healing. And she said, “Okay, I'll go into the living room and start working on it.”

I was very aware that the Kundalini energy wasn't going all in the right direction. It was getting kind of stuck. Yeah, I thought maybe that's what’s causing all this, pressure, pain, lights and everything. I get into the living room and this part I don't remember at all…I remember walking into the living room and saying something to Raphaelle. She's giving me a healing. But later, after everything was over, what she told me was that when I walked in, I started circling around the living room, chanting the Jewish prayer for the dead. I don't know any, any Hebrew. And I don't have a clue what the Jewish prayer for the dead is. And I was so surprised when she told me that! I asked her, “How did you know?” She doesn't speak Hebrew.  She said, “Well, the funny thing was, like three or four days before this happened, she was watching some show on PBS or something. And they had the whole Jewish prayer for the dead. And she said, “It was exactly what I heard just the other night.”. And I kept on repeating it, apparently. And then I said, I have to go outside. I went outside and that's when I keeled over.

I’m out on the grass but that was just an out-of-body experience. I find myself out of the body, I'm surrounded by not only those five beings from before, but six or seven other ones. I'm surrounded by almost a dozen beings of tremendous light and I was so happy to see them. I said, “Thank God, you're here.” And they all stepped away from me. When they were further away, saying, “Yes, but we can't interfere. This is your time. And it's your decision to make.”  I'm going well, I already made the decision about coming back or not coming back. And it was clear, that wasn't the decision. This is a new decision, a different decision. So here I am. I don't know I'm having a heart attack. But I'm out of the body. And I'm looking at what's the question? Well, what's the decision I have to make? And finally, after a lot of going back and forth about things, I realized I wasn't afraid of dying. So that's not it, it’s not like, please don't let me die or anything. And it wasn't like, I don't want to go back. I want to stay in spirit. No, I was still okay either way. But I had made the commitment to come back. So, this is a new commitment. I would like to honor it. And then I realized, oh, that decision is a very important decision - they're telling me the decision I have to make is about my relationship with life. And even though I totally have had lots of out-of-body experiences, lot of things on that level. So, I know you don't ever die. And I'm not afraid of that. But I was still living my incarnated life, like from birth till this then whenever the death is going to happen, and preparing for things like that way. And I realize but life itself is eternal. It never ends. What I if I decide I would live life in its entirety, and its eternity, eternal life. What's that decision? Me? Then I can see the fear of: Oh, that means unconditional life. It's not a life where, oh, this is getting too tough. That ‘Take me out of here.’ Right? There's that choice is gone. It's off the table. Once you decide to live an eternal life. You can't get away from it. And then I'm realizing that means if I come back to the body, and my body's in some level of disability or anything. What if my body has to be taken care of by somebody else the rest of my life here? Or what if I'm blind? Or if I can't walk or can't talk or something? How about that? And I'm going, Oh, no, that's not something I would willingly and gladly go, ‘hey, yeah, I'll do that.’ But if I make that decision to live the eternal life, while I'm still here, I'm foregoing that choice I'm going, I'm going to live it the best I can, regardless of whatever the conditions are, that I'm met with. That was scary. Then I thought, ‘What's my option?’ I knew the writing’s on the wall. I knew sooner or later, whether it's this lifetime, next lifetime, 100 lifetimes turned out, I'm going to have to make that decision. We all do, eventually. So, I thought, why, if I'm going to have to make that decision, sooner or later, I might as well do it now. Right? And just go with it. So, I finally got to that place of, ‘Okay. I'm making the decision, instead of living from this birth to this death lifetime, in segments, I'm going to commit myself to living the eternal life.’

And once I made that choice, bam, everything changed. Nothing changed on the physical level, everything changed inside. And everything changed in my relationship with myself, with life, with the world, with everything. And I came back to my body. And I knew my heart didn't stop, it was still going and everything. So, it was just an out-of-body experience, not a near-death experience.

There was a point where my body, my head was on the lawn. It's very grassy. I'm staring at the green grass. And then that's when I noticed there's this incredible pain in my chest. And I was looking at and totally in this communion with Mother Earth. And I asked Mother Earth, “Mother Earth, I have all this pain in my chest, can I let it go into you?” And this green grass that I was seeing in front of my eyes, just turned black, velvety black, like total blackness, like curtains opened up or closed or open whichever way and then into the blackness, all this energy from my chest of the years of giving people healings, and the parts that I hadn't fully cleaned out of my space where I took on other people's little illnesses, pains, suffering and stuff that didn't, I wasn't able to completely release, that was piled up in there. It just came pouring out with the faces of those people and what the situation was, and everything just kept on pouring out. And what I emptied out, the blackness closed up back to the green grass. And I felt good enough to run upstairs. I needed Raphaelle to take me to the office, thinking I still had that appointment. And she informed me, “The appointment has been rescheduled. So, don't worry about that.” And I said, “Why, I still want to go in and check things out. But I'm too weak to drive myself. Could you take me?” So, she takes me. As soon as we're on the road, (it's only like a five-minute drive to the office) she said, “You know, we should swing by the ER, just get you checked out, just in case.” I said, “Fine.” I look, and there's a green light if things are a go with spirit, and it wasn't there before. I had to deal with this myself first. But now, I have the total green light. Okay, good. It'll be good to check it out. We go to the ER and that's when they discovered I was still having a heart attack. It lasted four and a half hours!

This is another thing I learned. If you walk into an ER, it's not as serious as if you're being carted in by an ambulance, right? Because you're walking. And if you're walking in with somebody who's really concerned about you, like my wife was looking very concerned. Meanwhile, I was laughing, talking and joking around. So, the triage didn't take my condition that seriously. Like if you're going to be laughing and walking, he's not going to drop dead any second! So, she just kind of hollers, “All, we got another chest pain kind of a thing.” And then I get taken into the doctor's exam room. And the doctors not, in a hurry or anything because she's not prepared for that. So, she's interviewing me and talking and asking stuff, and I'm joking around and laughing. And then she says, (when I mentioned the pain I was in) “From zero to 10, if 10 is the highest pain level, what is it now? And I said, “Oh, now it's down to about four.” And she asked, “Okay, how long have you been in pain and when did this pain start?”  Then I realized, there's no concept of time. I had no idea if it was five minutes ago, or hours ago. And I asked her, “What time is it now?” She said, “It's 12:30.” And I said, “Oh, why it started at 8:30 this morning.”

That's when she freaked out. She puts all these electrodes and everything on me and checks out the EKG, and she runs to the phone. She's talking furiously with some other doctor. When she comes back with a clipboard, she says, “Well, I have to have you sign this waiver. I have to inject you with this very heavy-duty drug that has a 50% chance of killing you.” I cracked up. I said, “Oh, did you just hear what you just told me? I'm living right now.” “Correct.” “I'm breathing and my heart's beating everything. Maybe I'm having a heart attack. But you know, I'm still alive. And you're going to inject me with something that has a 50% chance of killing me? That doesn't seem to make a lot of sense to me.”  So, she said, “No, no. If I don't give you this, you have a 100% chance of dying within the next few minutes.” And she said, “Look at this EKG! These are called tombstones. And we don't call it tombstones, just for fun. It's because if you have this kind of an EKG, you die!” So, I said, “Great! You're the doctor.” And the thing is, in that experience, I'm still in this all-ness space.

I'm seeing spirit, the healing spirits, angels, amazing masters in this room. And every one of the medical personnel that from the doctor, to the orderly to the nurse, and everybody helping had their spirit guides and angels working with them. The whole thing was complete divine choreography. It was just like watching the most spectacular and beautiful ballet performance ever. So, I'm in the middle of that, it was the experience like being held by/in God's hands. Just total no fear of anything. It's just complete certainty of no matter what happens, it's great. And so, I'm still joking around with the doctor. I said, “Sure. Yeah, go ahead, you're the doctor. You know what you're doing. I'll sign whatever. You can do whatever you want to do.” And she answered, “Well, thank you.”  She starts doing things and she was the one really sweating that out because she knew how serious it was.  Why she was on the phone was, at that time, I was living in this little town, so they couldn't handle the extent of what I was going through. They didn't even have an ambulance and an ambulance crew that was trained to keep me alive from there to an hour and a half away, bigger city hospital. So, she was making all the arrangements to have me transported, but they had to send the ambulance crew and the ambulance that was properly equipped. It took them a little over an hour to get there, pick me up and another little over an hour to get back to the hospital. Well, a Medivac flight, that's just not what they did.

But I went, and this poor young man, I thought he was a paramedic, but he was going to get his paramedic licensing finals exam the next week. He was a trainee! But he was really on it, trying to make sure I stayed alive. And the moment I said to him, “Hey, kid, don't worry about it. I'm not going to croak on you.” That's when I flatlined. And oh my God, I lifted out of my body and went through the roof of the ambulance and then into the sky above and, and then I can see my wife Raphaelle driving her SUV following and they're going 80-90 miles an hour on mountain passes. And she's holding on for dear life to keep up with the ambulance. Then I see Raphaelle and I wave at her. Since she's very clairvoyant, she looks up and she sees me.  Instead of waving back and smiling, she's, you know, giving me the fist. So, we have this little moment. And on my side of things, I can see her, but I can't hear her. And I'm just making up in my mind, oh, she's probably saying, ‘I'm going to kill you if you die on me, right now!’ (chuckles).

But again, out of the body, you don't have any other considerations that you would hear and so, I just kept going. And then I'm in the celestial sphere and met with these five great golden angels. And one of them comes down and turns into this female figure and pushes her two hands on my chest and pushes me back on my astral body, back down through the ambulance roof and back into my [physical] body. As soon as I got back into the body, boom, I'm back. I opened my eyes and the young paramedic had those paddles, ready to blast me. I popped my eyes open, and he starts yelling to the front guys, “He's back! He's back!” He was so relieved. So, that was the actual death experience the second time.

The third time was August 2011. I was in the best shape physically, fitness, health-wise, strength, endurance, everything. Probably one of the best times in my life, health-wise and fitness-wise. So, I was working out really hard in the gym. That's when I had a full- on cardiac arrest, instant, boom, down for the count. I don't remember a thing about that experience on the physical part. My memory starts just after I get sucked out of my body and it was like, going from being here in the physical to the furthest point that you can possibly imagine away from here but at the same time, in the total center of everything, is the experience I had. I don't know how else to describe it. But then there's this, on Earth it would be a period of time, but there is no time in spirit. So that experience was one of total, um, I have a feeling this is where that idea of nothingness comes from. It's not…a lot of people think nothingness would be this pitch-black oblivion or something like that. But it's nothingness because there is no, in that space, there is no me. There's nothing that resembles what we experience here as an ego. No, I'm Michael Tamura, you're so-and-so. And we are this way and that way, we're different. None of that exists. So, there's no without the me without the I am this, then I am that. There's no difference. There's no separation, there's no division. So, you can call that oneness, but it's not even oneness. It's this totality.

It's only several days after I came back into my body, and away from the hospital, and everything else, and I start to have some memory back, when I would still recall that that-ness. But talking about it, words just invalidate the whole thing, because we could only talk about it with one word after the other in a linear sequence. And nothing in that space can be described that way. But the only way I can make an analogy is…now in retrospect, what it feels like, is what I called sitting right by the eternal flame of God's Divine Love. And it's like the experience of this flame that's not hot, and it doesn't burn you. But it's just this eternal flame that is complete, unconditional, everything love and, and complete experience of disappearing as the individual you are, and being the whole. And so, from that space, somewhere along the way, I'm in that until I'm not.  And the transition from that space to not being in that space was this sense of like turning around. And as I turn around, that's the beginning to go coming back this way. But the first experience of that after that turning around, then I start to have what we call experiences. It wasn't this total oneness, it was still this vastness and oneness experience. But, there was a little figment of ‘I’ there. I'm the one experiencing this.

It was the first time I ever really saw some of the things that were written in the Bible. Especially in the Old Testament, they have Cherubim and Seraphim, but they described the Seraphim with I think six wings, all this different than a regular Angel. I was surrounded. There was this eternal flame of God's Love area of total oneness. If I turned a little bit away from that, then there were all these gigantic, all white angelic presences and it felt and looked like these undulating multiple, multiple wings and huge. Nothing, there's absolutely no impurities that can get past them. And then I face them and then they open up their wings and let me out of this inner sanctuary. And then when I got out, then I'm looking over this enormous, just forever, kind of a, all the way past the horizon of angels like we normally think of angels with the white, you know, pair of wings and everything. And their wings are all undulating like this in concentric circles around the space. Just going on and on and on seemingly forever, just hundreds of thousands of pairs of wings. So, I'm watching over this undulating wave of this white movement, pure purity. It's as if there's these angels in constant total prayer and worshiping the oneness and God. So, I start to realize for the first time, how difficult it must have been for some of those prophets who had out-of-body experiences and went to some of these kinds of spaces to describe them. How do you talk about this stuff? But it makes sense. You know, it's like, oh, yeah, I've remembered reading different places, these angels that are 24/7, worshipping an adoring God. And that's the kind of sense I got in that space.

Then I was taken from there, to what I call my advanced lessons. It's like going to a graduate school. And a lot of it was in little spaces for meditation, and certain kinds of very deep meditation and everything. But there's this one place that felt like in the middle of the universe, you know, middle of the outer space, everything is dark in the way that outer space seems to be dark. And there's no reference up and down and sideways and everything. And I'm floating as consciousness in the middle of this vastness of this dark space with nothing. Then I realized there's this very transparent tube or something that lifts away from me. And next thing, I'm seeing the most horrific images, just all the stuff horror movies are made out of and if you just sat there and imagine the worst possible, anything, the scariest everything, whatever. And they're just flying at me, like somebody's just throwing this stuff at me, incessantly. And it's just at supersonic speeds, it's just coming at me all the time. And I realize, oh, yeah, this is where I need to really practice total non-resistance to let everything pass by. Don't try to stop it, don't fight it, don't run away from it, don't try to change it, just let it be, and let it pass through because it's not going to hurt me. And, oh, it's gone right by.  As soon as I got to that space, none of it bothered me, I can still see it. But it's not like having any reaction to any type of horrific image. And because I had total certainty there, that those were just images in the mind, in the greater mind. And so that happened for a while.

Then I get taken to another place for different kind of training. And then I come back to that again, and go through that, again, I went through that about three or four different times in between the other types of meditations and whatnot. And I knew that I was being prepared for coming back here for my next phase of what I'm going to be doing here.

Then I came back [to my physical body]. For that part, I have to depend on everybody else who was here, like my wife Raphaelle to tell me, you know, what happened? In the physical part, I got medivacked back to the bigger hospital. Oh, this is how Spirit works, my own cardiologist who has a private practice so he's not in the hospital a lot of times, right? Only when he has to do certain procedures that require hospital stuff from one of his patients. He'll go to the hospital schedule then and do it. Well. He just happened to be scrubbed up in the O.R. about to do an elective cardiological process for one of his patients, and it wasn’t an emergency or anything. And he was just about to get started. When on the loudspeakers on the PA system, he gets called saying your patient, Michael Tamura just had a cardiac arrest and they're resuscitating him. He's being flown in medivacked to here and they'll be here in a few minutes. So, the poor patient, he's on the operating table. The doctor says, “Okay, I have to reschedule your process because I have an emergency I have to tend to. So, they whisked the husband with the men away, then the cardiologist's getting ready for me while I arrive. He goes in with a little micro camera and into the heart area to see what's what, I  assume because of my history of having had two heart attacks before that one. Yeah, soon, oh, boy, he's got another one. He goes in and checks everything out. And says it was clean. I didn't have a heart attack this time. And, and he reads, you know, the reports from the paramedics and everybody and what happened? And he said, to this day, he said, “You know, I don't have a clue. He said by my esteemed medical opinion, is that you were unlucky that day?” He said, “There should be no cause for that. Your heart just stopped. It could’ve been electrical, it could’ve been the nervous system or something.” He couldn't find any definitive anything. So, he was about to finish up the investigation and he doesn't have to treat me for a heart attack. He just has to watch me and see how I progressed from that point. So then, as he's about to take the camera out, he sees something happening on the side outside of this particular blood vessel. He realizes another blood vessel just exploded, it just blew open. Now that was a total emergency, requiring open heart surgery, but he's not a surgeon. So, he takes that stuff out. He calls for the surgeon on call that day, the cardiothoracic surgeon, very specialized surgeon, and the man, the surgeon who responded to that call, also just happened to be at that hospital, just for that day. He had already finished what he was there for and he was getting ready to leave or something. He gets this emergency call. So, he was really the most qualified, probably in the world to deal with me.

Because both doctors said afterwards that they had to do open-heart surgery on me the traditional way, I would have died for sure. And because I wouldn't have been able to handle it, since they have to stop the heart and put it on the heart lung machine during surgery, and then try to kickstart it again afterwards. They said in the condition I was in, that wouldn't have worked. But this doctor happened to be the father of the new type of open-heart surgery. He invented this new way of doing an open-heart surgery that could be done in three hours or less instead of six hours. And he didn't have to stop the heart to do it.  So, he was one of the few people in the world that could have done that kind of surgery. I mean you can't just knock that off as a coincidence, right? It's just amazing how in spirit everything is orchestrated. 


Author of: You Are the Answer – Discovering and Fulfilling Your Soul’s Purpose

Fugitive is shown all his happiest moments

November 9th 1989 around 10pm, cold night for the weather. I was running from several peace officers and helicopter. I hid under a pomegranate tree that had never been trimmed. I hid under leaves so well only the helicopter knew I was there. They sent in K-9 (Bronco was his name), he found me right away. I grabbed his cheeks while lying on my stomach and held him from biting my head. Officers pulled me out by my feet, while I dragged the dog with me through the underbrush. One officer broke my hold of the dog and started to handcuff me. I couldn't hold the dog anymore, then he grabbed my other hand and handcuffed me while the dog mauled my head. I kept my face down so he wouldn't rip it up. We argued back and forth both of us not letting up. So the dog continued long after that until an officer grabbed him and said I had enough.

He stood me up and blood was running unstoppable. As I waited for the ambulance my legs gave out and I fell to my knees feeling scared of the feeling I was having. Ambulance finally came and I was so cold the blood from my head kept me warm on the gurney. They rolled me fast through the E.R. and I could see all the lights passing. They wrapped my head preparing me for surgery, when my body started shaking uncontrollably. I panicked even more and then everything went black!

Don't know for how long but then the darkness was giving way to dim light. I started to see my body and the doctors working on me. I wasn't really conscious but I could see peripherally. This light that was drawing me towards it was so intense and mesmerizing. Then two film strips on the left side of me started flashing back all the happiest moments I had ever had from when I was born till that moment. I recognized every script it was showing. And made me feel indescribably joyful while the light kept intensifying from everywhere. I loved this feeling growing on me and couldn't think of nothing else. Then a phone rang and I answered hello and my friend said Junior!!!!! That's what they call me. And everything went dark again.

When the dim light started appearing again it was a doctor looking at my eyes with a light and he said, "we almost lost you there." He told me to count back from ten to zero. I got to sseevveennnn. And lights out again. When I came to, I was in recovery.

Thanx for listening .... We don't pass away ... We continue collecting memories that equal Infinite Light to balance the Darkness we all have to experience....

Suicide is told she has no business trying to "get in"

I was 17 years old when I met my emotionally abusive boyfriend. He had a profound effect on me that lasts to this day, over 30 years later. Over the course of a year, he convinced me to join him in a suicide pact, claiming that we were "better" than the rest of society and deserved to be "somewhere else." He was a drug addict and because of the mental hold that he had over me and the desire to be high with him, I abandoned my family and friends. It was such a pivotal time in my young life and I have always fantasized about never having met him, wishing that I could’ve kept the precious friends that I had and never killed the relationship with my parents, as I was an only child.

I was at his beck and call, to go to him whenever he wanted, because he had enough drugs for us to overdose on. It could be in the middle of the night when I would miss school the next day and cause my parents to be sick over my sudden disappearance. When he moved over 4 hours away to an out-of-state school, I again went to him anytime that he asked. By the time that I arrived, the drugs either disappeared or he decided that he just wasn't ready to go.

He called one night, asking me to make another long drive to see him, and I actually refused. I can only wish that I had more time to become tired of the routine and come to my senses on my own, realizing that I was worth far more than the puppet that he made me feel I was. I couldn't reach him when I called the next morning and found out that he had finally decided to take his life. I wonder if he would have done it sooner if I never came. Perhaps the time alone that he had waiting for me and not showing up made him realize that it was more important for him to die than waiting for me to end my life, too.

My parents forbade me to make the drive to where he was because they knew how raw I was and that that environment was the last place I needed to be. I was extremely distraught over the experience. My mom lost over 10 pounds and she was already quite thin. I looked like absolute hell, judging from the few pictures taken of me after his death.

After his funeral, I was already seriously planning to kill myself. When the time was right and I found the top floor of an empty parking deck, I took an entire package of OTC sleep medicine and sat in my car waiting. I saw my fingernails turn yellow and soon could not move at all. I was already leaning back in my seat in a sleeping position when I began to focus on the sky through my car window. In a trance and without leaving my body, I felt my consciousness move to a particular set of clouds. I was still mostly aware of my surroundings and that I still couldn’t feel my body since it was numb.

What I saw after a few moments wasn’t a person, but a male presence, “looking down” at me. He was upset and annoyed that I was trying to "get in" to where he was. I could sense a few people behind him, males and females, who I felt were just there to passively accompany him until they could all return to where they had come from.

He spoke to me and I felt like I was being reprimanded. It was a mean display of emotion and I knew that he was angry. I was told not to come any further and that I had absolutely no right to come there. Even now, I feel the emotions and how sad and hurt I felt. I just kept "hearing" that I had no business there and to more or less get the hell away. Then I felt myself "pushed" back into my body. I became fully aware then of my surroundings and I willed my body to return to its normal state. I still couldn’t move, but desperately tried to sit up and look for any cars or people that I could yell for help to. I finally regained full use of my body and was able to drive home where I must’ve slept for two days.

I never tried to commit suicide after that. Over time, I developed this overwhelming knowing that I was being watched and the beings that were looking over me loved me in ways that no human could. I still feel it to this day and my belief system in the afterlife, even other dimensions, has increased exponentially. I am grateful for that experience and so grateful to know that I am so strongly loved.

I do wish, as I get older, that I could go "home." It is not a thought with intent, but more of a happy knowing that there will be a long break after I leave my already tired body before I come back again to learn new lessons.


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