In 1999 I began to have dreams about my first husband which was very strange because I really never spent any time thinking about him. In fact, I made a conscious effort to not think about him or relive memories that were so very painful.

The memories of the unhappy marriage and chaotic events surrounding our divorce caused me to experience extreme fear, trauma and anxiety.

At first I would have a dream about him once every other week and then the dreams occurred about once a week. This continued for a while but then they increased in frequency to twice a week until they dreams were coming every other night. It was disconcerting because I really did not spend any waking time thinking of him or reliving memories. At that point I became alarmed since I knew that this was not in the normal course of life events. Deep down I think I really knew what the problem was but found it necessary to spend some time thinking about it: I had never forgiven him for the way he had treated me and was very content to harbor all the resentment and anger that had built up over the years. I guess I felt justified! It is not easy to forgive but it is something that we have to do in life. As soon as I forgave him through prayer, the dreams stopped completely.

Then about two weeks later I had a vision of him. I was not asleep but in some sort of altered state; I was definitely not dreaming.  I can still see myself in bed and the bedroom setting. This event occurred after my marriage to my current husband. It seemed to be rather near dawn and I was somewhere between awake and asleep (a twilight state). I was aware of a light in the hallway or second bathroom where my current husband was getting ready for work.

I only saw his face; the rest of his body was not visible but he looked very peaceful and happy and seemed to be around 30-32 years of age. He was well-groomed and his hair was neatly combed, parted on one side and very shiny and healthy-looking with not a single hair out of place. He had the most wonderful smile on his face; I had never seen him smile that broadly in life. He had a glow about him; a celestial radiance. His expression was one of complete peace, happiness and contentment. His hair was almost completely blond being much lighter than while he was alive and his skin was dewy and gleaming. I might add that his hair was actually blond when he was a child and in his teen years. This was significant because his hair, facial skin and the shape of his head had been drastically altered and severely damaged due to the radiation and surgeries he endured for treatment of a brain tumor. In fact he had large scars and the very little hair that was left was thin and wispy.

But in this visit, he radiated joy, happiness and love. I could actually feel these emotions pass into me and was overcome with a feeling of unconditional love. He indicated a sense of well-being, a state of happiness and general goodness and the love that I could feel emanating from him might have been a part of his seeking (and gratitude for) forgiveness. All of this was completely opposite to his character and actions in this mortal life.

Unlike a dream which quickly fades from memory or cannot be recalled at all, I still have a very clear image of his face which was about 16-18 inches from mine. After this vision he did not come to me in dreams anymore. This vision took place about 11 years after his death and probably did not occur earlier because I may not have been as receptive to communication from  the other side due to lingering anger and resentment after the difficult years with him. My interpretation is that he needed forgiveness and came in dreams that increased in frequency which in turn prompted me to forgive him and finally let me know how happy and well he is in his present state of being.

In all my reading about people who pass over to the other side, they return telling of this feeling of unconditional love.