A few weeks before graduation, I went out with a couple of friends from work. We were on our way to my house to listen to some new music. I forgot to tell the driver to take a turn at a particular place since I was still a little new to the city. Soon after a truck ran a red light and totaled my friend's car. Everyone was all right, which is odd because we got hit by a Ford F-150 in a small geo metro hatchback. My friend was injured worse than me. I only had a badly bruised back and some bad cuts. Shortly thereafter, I quit smoking marijuana due to an extreme anxiety attack. I haven't smoked since.
Time passed (about two weeks) and news had been pouring about a "Gospel of Judas." At the time I was stern in my beliefs and had to see why the media was going crazy. After watching a special I was somewhat devastated. The video had mentioned another book that had been missing from the New Testament Canon. Some time after, I went to the local Barnes and Noble and saw the book entitled "The Gospel of Thomas." I had a friend lend me some money to buy it since I was so excited to read it.
After night fell, I decided to get the Gospel of Thomas out since my parents would scream heresy if they saw me with that particular book. I began to read it, and was simply confused but amazed. I couldn't believe the ambiguous and mystical sayings Jesus had spoke in the book. After reading about 40 sayings in the book I had to relax. I took my temperature and it was literally 100 Fahrenheit. I was feeling extremely sick for no reason. I thought that it had something to do with my anxiety problems.
After a while I felt a pulsing in my forehead that got stronger. I tried to relax by watching Conan O'Brien. I called a friend because I was so nervous. I began telling her about what I had read and how I felt terrible, confused, and astonished at the same time. After speaking with her for a while I excused myself to use the restroom. I opened the door and turned the switch on. Everything was usual until I walked all the way into the restroom and noticed something amazing.
A light was mysteriously getting brighter without stopping. The light became so bright I could not see anything. Then I began to feel as if I was leaving my body. I kept moving higher into this infinite white. I felt ecstasy, bliss, and unfathomable joy. I soon felt that if I continued to go, I would die. I didn't think this, I just knew. After, I fell back into my body in amazement. I cannot specify how long I was in the light because it didn't feel imprisoned by time. But, I think that the time I took in the restroom back to the phone was between five and ten minutes. I will never forget this moment in my life, it has transformed me into someone I knew I always was but for some reason never took on this type of knowledge/freedom.
Since the experience, I dropped my faith as Christianity. I do not align myself with any particular religion because I feel they were at one point all esoteric and shared the same truths. After the experience I decided to study Christianity. I did some independent study on Exoteric and Esoteric forms of Christianity such as, modern fundamentalism to Gnostic Christianity. I have become a more creative person also. I used to only produce a particular genre of music, whereas now I enjoy music experimentation. The experience has also influenced a life of prayer, meditation, and contemplation. I feel I have become a more understanding person with the ability to feel true empathy for others.
The white light has transformed my mind into a higher state of consciousness, which I will never forget. I'm grateful to be blessed with such an experience.