NDE-Like Accounts

Woman is shown how trauma causes our perceptions to become skewed

I had an incredible transcendental, significant spiritual experience on the shores of Tennessee Cove Beach in Marin County, CA on June 8, 2020. It was an experience so profound and powerful it changed me and the course of my life on the spot. It came as the result of a vision quest I had put myself on, which began on March 24, 2020 just 3 months prior. I had had some other significant spiritual experiences leading up to this one as the result of my daily, spiritual regime but the one that took place on June 8th rearranged me within. I came back and began looking for a place to live in Southern California, not knowing anyone where I would be going. But I had clear direction and guidance. I had no question whatsoever of what to do and how to proceed.

It was summertime and in the midst of a heatwave, which I have always loved. I awoke before dawn, which was a new thing brought on as the result of my vision quest. I am not and never have been an early riser. After greeting dawn I packed a backpack and headed out to my favorite, secluded beach to camp for the day. It was a very long trek to get to and I frequented this cove often. I reached the shores of the cove and set up my spot about 9:30 a.m. My experience began when I laid down on my towel, face down on the sand. I felt the soft sand give beneath my weight and then I felt the Earth itself rise up to meet my body. I felt cradled and caressed by the sand, actively.

I felt I was taken within a certain forcefield or dimension. I was now in an awake-state, feeling a direct connection and, in direct communion with the Earth and Mother Nature. The feelings and experience were indescribable in that they were so much more vast than any love I have ever felt in my life and with a God-sized power and velocity. It was so immense, so all-consuming and so beautiful. It was like I could feel her as a God-sized mother with a God-sized power and love beaming into the core of my being, blessing and healing me with her love. We were in communion and it had me sobbing. The Earth was an actual living entity, and I was astounded, enraptured and deeply, permanently healed by her profound power and love.

Any sense of conventional time had already slipped away. Time was neither fast nor slow as far as I could perceive. There was no linear time in the dimension I was in. I had no sense of time as we know and understand it. At some point I stood up to explore closer to the shore. There was a fleet of pelicans flying overhead.  

Everything was alive! I could feel and sense everything and I was one with it. The sky, the water, the birds flying high above. Everything was suspended in and animated by this massive, inexplicable force of love. Love was the force at the source of everything. I felt connected to, and one with this magnificent symphony. Everything was love. Love was the force animating and at the source of everything, the universe, the world and every living thing in existence.

I could not only see all of this I could feel it and I was part of it, one with it. I was already sobbing when I felt the presence of God, the Almighty Force, and I buckled to my knees, sobbing even more. It was like God waved a hand in one single motion like the signal of the start of a drag race, and an entire lifetime of knowledge was imparted to me. All time and all knowledge were present, known and accessible all at once. Omniscience and omnipresence were granted to me in the presence of God.

The feeling of this wave of God’s hand both showed me my life in review while answering every question I didn’t even know I was asking. Also, in the same instant, my lifetime of traumatic experiences going all the way back to early childhood were shown to me as if right there but with a sentient illustration of exactly how and where my misperceptions of life, self and others began. I could not only see but feel and know exactly how my perception shifted off track, how all of us do, in the event of trauma. A multitude of spiritual understandings and miracle healings happened instantaneously and at phenomenal depth. Every score was settled within me and I experienced pure peace all the way down to the bottom of my soul. With this I was rearranged and forever changed, healed and brought back to the wholeness I knew as a child, before anything went horribly wrong.  

This all happened in the snap of a finger yet it was also as if I was there with God in this heavenly dimension for a lifetime simultaneously. I was returned to a state of pristineness within but yet altogether new as well. The peace and love of God blasted my heart and soul out of what I had previously experienced as normal and God blasted my heart open wide, expanded my soul, nutrified my mind and illuminated my spirit. I was fully rearranged, put back together, put back in order. I was reconnected, with access to my whole, true self and spirit; I was restored. My perspective, my sense of life, self, God, others, nature and other dimensions became clear and vast. It was like a cosmic explosion within my being. I was reshaped and the metamorphoses were instantaneous and permanent.

I was left reeling, in awe, stupefied, speechless and in a pure bliss state, and stood there for who knows how long in a state of Nirvana. I was in touch with my soul and by that I mean I could see it, feel it. I was in some rarified, purified state. I could see my spirit/soul like a sparkling diamond and radiating light so divine, a living light so fine and beautiful I could never adequately describe it. To see and behold such light would bring anyone to their knees and immediate sobs. I stood in awe and luxuriated in this splendor. It was like a brilliant diamond and diamond-sparkling, radiating light. It emanated over a vast distance that was not measurable in normal, earthly terms and definition, for it emanated in terms of depth which is not normally something perceptible in normal states of consciousness. I stood in awe of its beauty and its radiating expanse and depth. It radiated not necessarily outward but depth-ward, seemingly through different dimensions of space, time and even lifetimes. I remained encaptured and beholding it, turning it over and around to view each and every side of it, and as I did the sunlight seemed to further ignite it and its glow as the sun’s lifetime is that of nearly 10 billion years. I could feel the sun shining all the way into and interacting with my soul and its furthered illumination.

All aspects of this extreme spiritual experience and awakening made mincemeat out of me. Tears continued to gush down my face. This vision and experience were the last part of my direct encounter with God, but I remained in an alternate dimension, in an exaggerated bliss state after being released from this nearly unbearably beautiful God-Realm.

In this altered state, I came to understand with absolute clarity that I was literally born to be free. I was born, predestined to live free of usual human constraints, entanglements, and self-imposed oppressions. I was born to be free and to get free of all vices, including romantic entanglements and materialism, and to strike out on my own in terms of employment as well. I’ve always felt in my element and truly aligned when living a more ascetic lifestyle. I came to understand by way of being healed that trauma is a key in forgetting one’s self and true path, and purpose or calling. I felt called to devote the rest of my life to helping others get free, to help others heal and find inner peace, and true freedom within.  

All I wanted to do was to shout from the mountaintops all I had experienced and all I’d come to know. I wanted to share my experience with everyone so they could benefit from them as I had. I wanted everyone to feel the same unimaginable peace and overwhelming freedom and joy. This soul healing, heart blasting, profound peace, power and beauty stretched far beyond the common and accepted normality of the ordinary state of mind.

It was imparted to me that people have forgotten entirely who and what we are. We are children of nature and of God. We are primarily spiritual beings on a brief journey through this earthly dimension and we will return both to the earth and to God. These bliss states are endogenous to us. We can, and were meant to actually live in this state of consciousness. I came to know, feel and see that this was our true nature. We are multidimensional beings capable of experiencing finer bliss than any drug on earth could ever deliver, and hardly anyone alive today really knows or understands this.

I felt such an urgency within my entire being to do something that would make others see, feel and know all I’d come to see, feel and know. I thought, “If I could just show others how we were meant to live and show them what supreme bliss is constantly available to us. I have to show others how to become completely one within, how to achieve total inner peace and how to become free within.” I felt like I was one of very, very few who really knew by way of direct experience that we were all meant to live free and in harmony with nature, and one another.

I could not accurately tell you how long this experience lasted in terms of normal timing because I was not in this world’s dimension when all of this occurred. Still to this day, when I think back there is no normal gauge of time passing linearly. I know that I arrived on the shores of the cove at about 9:30 a.m. and by the time I got my day camp set up and laid in the sand it began. I don’t remember leaving the beach that day but I know it was sometime before evening fell. I know that I was home writing about it by nightfall.

By July 31st, 2020 I had packed up and moved to Palm Desert, CA. I got rid of at least half, if not more of my belongings and packed everything I owned into my Subaru and my sister’s Jeep. My euphoria lasted for two months. I was able to impart much of my wisdom to my close friend, Aria, before I left. She was the first person to share some of that bliss state with me.

Within a month of landing in Palm Desert I went into a depression, and what felt like an identity crisis. I felt as if I had been erased. I felt like I didn’t know who or what I was besides a servant of God/Source. I didn’t know whether or not I’d ever feel a sense of self again as I once had. The thick of this depression lasted for about 3 months and it was another 5-6 months before I felt like myself again.   I did feel I had recovered a sense of self by June 8th of this year, 2020. I realized it was the anniversary of my experience on June 9th, 2021 when I found myself out at the beach near where I now reside in San Diego, CA with my journal. As I wrote the date I realized it had been a year. As well, I was at a beach that was not easy to get to and had been there the entire day before as well. This realization helped me greatly. It helped me to feel grounded. I felt the realization and the similar circumstances were God-given and guided. I have been able to commune with nature intensely ever since my experiences in June 2020. By the next morning I found myself finally able to sit down and write about my experience. I had attempted so often before this to write about it but I always found myself unable to get far. It’s like I had to study, experience and grow into what had happened. I didn’t have the language or the wherewithal to get my hands around it, or wrap my mind around it until a year had passed. I had had to let go of knowing whether I would ever be granted the wherewithal to finally write about it. This was at least one factor that compounded my depression.

I was heavily drawn to IANDS and joined the mailing list. I attended a webinar and was able to have some of my questions answered by the speaker, which was very comforting. I have had shared death experiences before along my lifetime and more than once. Hence, I have always studied NDEs on my own. I have watched the entire series of a show called, “I Survived, Beyond and Back,” more than once. So, in conjunction with this significant spiritual experience that happened in June 2020 I felt compelled to get involved and to somehow try to begin surrounding myself with others who’ve had similar experiences. I found a woman named Jane Katra through my YouTube searches for NDE experiencers shares. I was able to get in touch with her and that was comforting also. I have listened to NDE speakers every night since my experience in June 2020 and through this I feel I’ve become more educated about my own experiences.


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