I am confused about what happened to me and it is not a typical NDE. However, it has irrevocably changed my life. One extremely cold morning on my way to school
where I was a teacher, I started my car before I got in, to rid the windscreen of frost. I put the car into neutral but instead of the engine just turning over the car took off at a high speed with me hanging onto the steering wheel and effectively skiing behnd the car on the ice at a 45 degree angle. My hand was pulling the steering wheel towards a huge stone gate post.
At that point time slowed down and I seemed to be looking down on the whole scene. I sensed that this was just one of many lives and that my soul and physical body were separate. I feel a sense of total calm and there seemed nothing to worry about. I felt very much alone in this world. As they say we are born alone and die alone. As the car headed towards the gatepost I remember thinking, 'Oh this is how I am going to die and it's going to be today!' That didn't worry me either. It seemed almost natural as if I'd done it many times before.
Because of the angle of my body and the fact that I could not find my feet due to the ice, I should have been crushed between the car and the gatepost. I watched the gatepost coming nearer and just calmly accepted my fate. I was going to be squashed to death. The next thing I remember was being upside down in the passenger seat of the car. From this position, still in slow motion, I watched the car scrape along the gatepost. It always reminds me of the shot in Titanic where Rose and Jack watch the ship crashing into the iceberg.
There is absolutely no way, because of the position of my body and because my hand was pulling the steering wheel downwards, that I could have found the leverage and strength to pull myself from behind the car and into the passenger seat in an upside down position. When the car came to a stop I had to try and haul myself out of the position I found myself in. My feet were on the roof of the car. When I eventually got out of the car I crumbled into a heap in a state of shock.
Around that time I had been experiencing many spiritual events. Spirits visiting me at night. Alien type beings. I was filled with love from them. One day I came into my bedroom and it became filled with a white light and a feeling of an unconditional love not possible on this earth, that I knew to be Jesus. So this spiritual event did not come out of the blue but was part of a whole series of things that happened at around that time.
Since my experience my life has totally fallen apart. I was a teacher, wife and beloved mother and daughter. I am now divorced, have left teaching and my children are distant. My extended family have disowned me because they, for some unfathomable reason, do not like my new partner who is a soul mate.There seems to be a problem in this world with love. Where people sense true love they react badly to it.
Since my experiences I seem to have developed a healing ability although my family have difficulty accepting this fact too which is part of the problem. I do not see the sense in life anymore and where once it was full, it is now empty. I could have gone through some kind of spiritual experience. I feel terribly anxious where once I was confident. I wake in the mornings full of crippling fear and anxiety. It seems that I have lost everything I had prior to this experience and am not even sure it was an NDE. I know that death is nothing to fear and I know we have been here many times before. Just desperate to understand the reason I was saved that day and find the direction I so desperately need.