For several days prior to 10/14/2010, I was feeling particularly sick.
It was like a chest cold/flu gone bad to worse to, what the hell is going on. I had tried to get thru to the local Emergency Walk In Center. They would not take my health insurance! I was barely breathing, barely able to drive and function. My oldest son (brain injured at birth and a big part of my experiences, I think), finally decided I was very bad even though I complained the ambulance would cost me more than I could afford (crazy nutty deductibles and co-pays, it is not cheap). He called the ambulance. By the time they came, I was bent over (laddered, they said), having great difficulty breathing.
They put oxygen on, took some vitals, put me in a chair and carried me to the ambulance. We were halfway to the ER (1.5 of 3 mile distance) and I heard the EMT say, "He is getting thready!" I called my healthcare proxy friends on my cell. After that, I heard the EMTs talking about calling into the ER for permission to give me a shot of something.
It was at this point, I was that film of oil on the outside of the bubble and the inside...no definition, no colors, shapes, sizes, people...nothingness... I heard a voice. It was clear and said, '"We don't know who is getting you this pass, ... but (sternly uttered), you will not get another."
At that point, I re-connected. I knew I was being brought thru the ER door/ambulance entrance and given massive treatments for breathing.
I had smoked for 41 years. I stopped that day. I have not had a cigarette since then. Initially, I was diagnosed with COPD, then modified to take acid aspiration damage into account (GERD), and that which I self-diagnosed and was later confirmed by laboratory testing, that I had active Lyme Disease, and possibly other pathogens contracted.
My consciousness was just there to hear, listen, absorb, understand the telepathic communication? I am not sure what it was, but, it was straight, simple, direct and stated matter-of-factly and grudgingly. The warning of no second chance was the utterance of someone who took being overruled very badly. It was clearly a male presence. I have no idea of the make-up of the unseen background life. There was no corporeal sense of anything.
That is essentially the total event. It was short and to the point. I think I kept quasi-dreaming it for some time and felt I was not able to sleep or breathe. Slowly, I recovered. Took more than 6 months.
Since this event, I have become interested in physics, light wave lengths, astronomy, planets, movements of all living things, legged or not, terrestrial or not (ocean, air). I see vastly more intimate connection between all things, seen or not, felt or not, realized or not. I have learned things I consider wisdom. Very different for me since I never thought I could learn in that way. Not my personality. From time to time, I do feel the sense of prophecy and the need to say things to people. In the way we can all be prophets. I make sure to pray for the sick and injured more intensively than ever now.
So, generally, I have to ask, what makes my 'miserable and worthless soul' so worth having more chances and longer life? My learning from this is, live each day feeling every part of it--the good, the bad, the sounds, feelings, sights...all of those things, but, beyond that. I think it is just: live and be happy you are. The chances of a second act? You would have better odds at winning the lottery or an alien kidnapping.
My appreciation for all existence as increased, a lot. My understanding of my single, individual existence as smaller than small, as thin as the film on the bubble described, as transient as the life of that bubble, that, being the atomic dust on the quark, inside the atom, was that large in the reverse--not that the universe focuses on me, but it does the same for all living things.
I am very clear about this and very confused. It provides all answers and asks all questions. We know everything, we know nothing. I remain deeply concerned, afraid of death. Understanding these experiences never ends. They can be evaluated from any point of the sphere and in any direction. It does not end.