NDE Accounts

Meeting My Guide

I was born in October, 1926 in Oklahoma. I am, by education, a civil engineer. I am retired from the U.S. Army in which I served for 27 years. I have two college degrees, a bachelor’s of science in mathematics and another in civil engineering. I am in good health and have been throughout my life…with the exception of dying and that occurred only once. I have no mental derangement or nervous disorders. At least of which I am aware.

One morning in February, 1999, I was awakened by early symptoms of a heart centered problem. That determination was instantly made by my wife, an experienced nurse. She gave me an aspirin tablet and telephoned the nearest hospital, some 14 miles distant, alerting them that she was driving me directly to their emergency facility and that we would arrive in 20 minutes or less. We arrived at the hospital and the night duty physician arrived only minutes thereafter. I’m not aware of the procedure(s) the physician and his team performed or were attempting to perform, but several minutes after the beginning my heart ceased functioning and I lost all sense of contact with the hospital environment.

I found myself in an up-market executive office or in the surrounds which I took to be an office. I was confronted by a friendly man who appeared to be around 60 years of age, tall and in top physical condition, an athletic build, thick silver-gray hair. He wore a white shirt, neck tie and gray trousers. He gave me the impression of being immaculately dress but to give this “office” a more casual atmosphere he had removed his suit coat. I guess I can describe him as the kind of guy from whom you would buy a used car. One other feature of the office’s surroundings was that of a number of wall shelves to my left front. Each shelf was lined with what appeared to be small figures made of pewter or ceramics. These were perhaps three to six inches tall and for some unknown reason I assumed that each figure represented a person or, strangely enough, an event.

That man soon began to address me in the manner of delivering a corporate orientation lecture as if to a new employee. Although I do not remember any audible exchange between us nor am I sure that my guide ever spoke aloud, yet I was able to understand all the ideas he presented. I can’t remember that I ever had any idea of the length of time required to cover his subject(s). Obviously time was compressed within this new setting. My wife said that I was gone for some 90 to 120 seconds… as reckoned in “Earth time” but yet there was enough time for my greeter to explain to me some very important facts peculiar to the new venue. He seems to have also informed me of errors that I had committed: like “…and get it right this time.” Although I was being corrected I was not being chastised. I felt that I understood every word and those words were said for my own enlightenment without a hint of reprimand or reproach. Furthermore, I intuitively understood what I was being told and intuitively recognized that what I was told was undeniably correct. Stranger still was that as he spoke the words formed in the air like white chalk on a blackboard. Later, as I was coming back I briefly saw that display change into a shapeless form looking like thick cigarette smoke.

At a certain point the lecture was at an end and instantly I found myself walking up to a seemingly familiar flight of stairs to a landing at their head. Opposite the stairway on this landing was a red colored door which was probably 3.5’x7’ and in the door there was a translucent window approximately 1.5’x 2’. These surroundings were strongly suggestive of a scene inside a building that housed our family physician when I was a boy, except for the color of the door. It was unfinished metal in my memory but red in my NDE. It would be a most significant factor to learn what color the door was painted in Feb, 1999. I remember that the door was mounted as a fire door and was held open with a chain and a fusible chain link. Because of its planned utility, fire retardation, it is possible that the door had been given a coat of red paint in the years following my last visit in the early 1940s. If that was to be the case there would be proof that I was actually transported from WA to OK.

I was reluctant to open the door before I knew what lay on the opposite side of the door and I tried, for several seconds to see through the glass window. Not being able to observe the other side I made a conscious decision to withdraw from my position at the door. I turned and began my descent of the stairway. I’m aware of walking down some ¾ of the length to the stair’s foot when the entire universe abruptly changed and I was floating, very fast, through a night sky on my back, feet forward. This sensation was of seconds in duration. These seconds were probably the most restful that I can remember. That sensation could also be from medication given me before the experience. It was very similar to having been injected with morphine after the pain of having been wounded. But regardless of the cause it didn’t last long because someone kicked me from behind (the paddles) and I was suddenly back where the odyssey began and I shouted, “What in hell did you do that for?” With that the Physician stepped away from me. He was still holding the paddles and wearing a very satisfied grin.

Perhaps the most significant “spin-off” of this experience was not recognized until 10 years after its occurrence. For a long period of time I had been interested in exploring the Book of Mormon (BOM) so I vowed to read it in its entirety. I am not a fast reader so I purchased a set of DVDs containing the BOM in its entirety and begun my study of it with the aid of my Sony Walkman DVD player. Late spring 2011 I was listening to a particular portion of the text* wherein Alma (a great figure of the BOM) is instructing his son concerning mortal death and subsequent resurrection. I was suddenly shocked when I realized that it was this very subject and presentation that had been given me earlier by the orientation lecturer in my NDE 10 years before.

As I indicated above, my own NDE was pretty dull and drab when compared to others of which I’ve read. Mine included no tunnels, no bright lights, no heavenly beings, nor euphoria** unless we consider the peace and tranquility for the short interval that I was floating, and medication could account for that feeling. There’s simply no easy biological explanation, of which I’m aware, that I can assign to the incident.

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Young child dies from pills, meets a being, and returns to feel trapped

When I was 3, I ingested 30 Seconals that had been prescribed for my mom during her divorce. Our housekeeper, Lula, came to wake me from my daily nap, and found that I had vomited pink liquid all over my pillow and could not be woken. I was taken to Baptist Hospital, a few miles from where we lived in Knoxville, TN. There, they pumped my stomach, but could not paddle shock or adrenalize me because of my age. My heart had stopped before we left my home. Some ER physician finally thought to cut down my ankles and mainline me with pure caffeine. It took a number of hours, however, for that to revive me.

In the interim, I was suddenly in a very white light place. All that was there was a very large being with long white caftan-like clothing, with a gold sash around the waist. There was a seat that looked like a wide bench, not throne, that was gold also. I felt that I was standing, looking at this being suddenly. I was very happy to be there - elated. There was an immediate pronouncement by this being (who was immensely kind) that I could not stay where I was and would have to go back to live out my life on the other side. I was enormously upset by this. I argued my case, tried to bargain, begged, any and everything I could do - but the answer was the same - you must return to live out your life.

This being seemed larger than a human man, had white hair and larger eyes than humans have. The eyes were animated in a very strange way - like grandfather clock eyes on Captain Kangaroo's shows. He was sitting on the bench when I first arrived, but then stood to talk with me. He emanated a love that I find impossible to describe in words. I felt that I had to be with him. My sense of time wasn't there. I don't remember going there or coming back.

But when I was at home again, I didn't want to be there. We had woods in back of our house. Every day for months I would take my collie dog, Brutus, into the woods with me and, lying down on the pine straw-covered forest bed, I would pray to God to take me back up into heaven and allow Brutus to come with me. This went on for months. I felt discontented to be where I was - sort of like being in jail or constrained. I felt a sort of depression.

Many years later, a psychic who was a friend of mine just blurted out that my sister had fed me pills when I was small, that had ended up killing me. That made perfect sense to me because Ann, my sister, had tried to kill me many times during my childhood. I had always wondered how I had gotten hold of my mother's prescription bottle of Seconals at age 3.

I have always felt confined in this life, like I need to get out of here. I can hardly wait to be reunited with heaven and God.

Heart attack leads to teachings about dimensions by Higher Self

My OOBE/NDE experience occurred on May 4, 2015. I need to go to the Emergency Room at the local hospital that has both the EKG facilities and the staff to provide any indicated medical care.  I realize that I am probably in some state of shock with the possibility of a mortal crisis, and my analytical brain isn’t really functioning very well.  Angels, please get me to the hospital without any more drama!  Another 8-mile drive to the hospital, and I calmly walk up to the receptionist and ask if I could get an EKG because I’m beginning to show the signs of CHF (Congestive Heart Failure).  Those must be magic code words.  She probably hit a little red button somewhere, because a nurse immediately bursts out of the double doors of the triage room, flies out with a wheelchair, plunks me down in it, and wheels me into the EKG room where at least a dozen little probes are attached to my chest in a flurry of activity.  A Physician comes in, looks at the EKG strip and orders me to be immediately admitted.  Evidently it was worse than I thought, and I thank the Angels again for getting me here. 

Well, here I am in my hospital room, very relaxed with the light sedative I’ve been given, so I use my cell phone and call the retreat center where my wife, Anita, is attending her workshop. They say they will try to locate her and hang up. A little while later Anita calls me and says she’ll immediately leave and be there at the hospital in about 3 hours or so. Meanwhile, the doctors are recommending that a probe be sent up from my leg artery to my heart to inspect things, and they think that a stent would likely solve any problems they find. But instead, they find three cardiac arteries that are nearly completely blocked, so a stent was out, and I would have to be transferred to the nearest hospital that does heart surgery, about 30 miles away, for what they call a ‘Cabbage’ – CABG, med-speak for Coronary Artery Bypass Graft. Ambulance transport was arranged for the next day, Friday, May 1.

At the new hospital, I am told that the heart surgeons have a full schedule, and the earliest they could get to me would be Monday, so I spend the weekend lightly sedated with happy drugs. Finally! Monday comes and the nurse arrives to prep me with, among other things, a bit more sedation. I kissed Anita and, as they were wheeling me into the operating room, I remember asking the nurse what time it was; she said, “Its 10:30am, May the Fourth… be with you!” I relaxed totally with a smile and said, “Thank you for that!” That is the last thing I remember before the operation, but it’s certainly only the beginning of the most powerful experience I have ever had.

Without any sense or feeling that time had passed, I am now looking down through an irregular ‘hole’ in the ceiling where I see several people around my physical body lying there on the operating table. There is a lot of movement as people respond to the surgeon’s directions to hand him an instrument, open the chest a bit further, stop that bit of bleeding there, check with the Anesthesiologist, etc., and I marvel at how swiftly and professionally everyone is working together, just as if they were a single being getting everything done just right. Then I hear the surgeon say, “I think we need another graft around this one that’s about 85% blocked. Might as well do it right now – that makes it a four-way bypass.”

Then I feel something happening in the back of my head … as I look down at my body, I somehow just know that a tiny part of my brain stops working. I look up and see another man looking at me with infinite love and concern. He is about four or five feet in front of me, dressed completely in white – white coat, white pants, white shirt, white tie, even white hair, but his skin is lightly tanned and his eyes are the bluest I’ve ever seen. I look down at his shoes to see if they were also white, but he doesn’t have any feet or shoes at all; for that matter, I don’t either! He looks to be about 45 or so, and as I look at myself (how did I do that?), I seem to be about 35 or so, and both of us appear very healthy, trim and fit. All of a sudden, I am observing this ‘Greeter’ in white from about four feet behind him and off to his left side, and I look at myself standing about eight feet away facing Mr. Greeter, so I can see myself very clearly; then, from behind Mr. Greeter, I hear him say to the me in front of him, “You now have a choice. You can come Home with me, or you can return to your body and to your life. What do you choose to do?”

Well, I think that it is very curious that I am behind Mr. Greeter, while I see the other me over there observing my body below, but then I instantly thought, “I’ll figure that out later. I have to make a choice NOW!” If there was time, it stopped completely. As I look down below at my body again, I know that it is damaged somehow and would never work again as well as it had before, and if I choose to return to my body, I would be somehow impaired physically. At the same time, I feel an extremely strong, loving, magnetic force pulling me backward and upward to go ‘Home’ with Mr. Greeter. In the same instant, as I observed this conversation from behind Mr. Greeter who was facing the other me who was thinking about what to choose, I ‘hear’ myself silently think, “Hmmm, it will be very interesting to see what he (the other me) decides to do!” Then, I looked at myself over there standing in front of the Greeter, looked down again at my body on the table, saw my wife Anita in my mind, and heard that other me say, “No, there are some things I would still like to do in this lifetime, so I choose to return to my body and my life.” At that instant, I had no idea what those things were that I still had to do, but I was quite positive that I just wanted the opportunity to continue living to do them.

My next awareness was groggily trying to open my eyes. Anita was there and I heard her say from far away, “He’s awake now!” As I slowly adjusted to being in my body again, I began trying out my legs and arms to make sure that everything worked again: Left hand - Yes! Left arm - Check! Left leg - Yes, toes wiggle, too! Right hand, not so much. Right arm, nothing. Right leg, oops - not working at all. I think this is very interesting and curious, and I hear me say, “Hey, Honey – look at this, I’m trying to move my right arm and leg and they’re not working yet!” Then I hear Anita shouting for the nurse and telling her that she thinks I’ve had a stroke! I think to myself, “Uh-oh! Well, this is what I chose to return to!”

In the next couple of days, I had several Computerized Tomography (CT) and Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) scans to determine the extent of the damage caused by the stroke. The Neurologist assigned to my case said that I had experienced three blockages in the blood vessels in the back part of my brain, the region that was responsible for motor movement of my limbs, and that sometimes stroke patients also experienced a tightening of the throat muscles and slurring of speech. Two weeks of in-patient physical therapy was followed by another four weeks of out-patient physical therapy, and eventually, I could haltingly walk around again with only a slight limp, but only for a short time and distance. But I also soon found that I could not speak continuously for more than about 10 minutes before my throat felt like it was tightening up and closing shut. So, at least I know the physical limitations that I will be working with after I am completely discharged. And I was also still wondering who, or what part of me, was that observer who was aware of the conversation between Mr. Greeter and the other me?

And what else did I learn from this experience? I’ve heard it said that there are no coincidences, and that everything happens for a reason. I’ve also previously heard in my spiritual regression training that before we are born, the spiritual part of each one of us chooses the family into which we will be born, the parents who will raise us, the lessons we are to learn during our lifetime, and also how and when we will exit our lifetime and ‘graduate’ from this earthly University of Life. But it was my very vivid Out-Of-Body-Experience (OOBE) and Near-Death Experience (NDE) described above that taught me several things about Life and about Death.

First, I learned, in a way that I now firmly KNOW, that my future death is nothing to fear, and will not be the end of my consciousness’ existence. Second, my ‘graduation’ will be like easily moving from a small, dimly lit room into a vibrant, large, life-filled room of love, peace and joy like I’ve done many times before. Third, I confirmed the existence of a spiritual ‘Greeter’ Being who escorts Home those souls whose body has died and helps them to adjust to the greater reality of their spiritual and energetic being. Fourth, I confirmed the existence of pre-chosen ‘Exit Points’ where my Higher Self or soul would have the choice of returning Home or extending my physical lifetime contract to some future Exit Point. Fifth, upon reviewing my OOBE, I believe my fifth-dimensional Higher Self was looking at and sensing my third-dimensional body on the operating table, and then an even higher aspect of my consciousness (tenth- or fifteenth-dimensional?) was also wondering whether my fifth-dimensional Self would choose to go Home or to return to the body. I now understand what being ‘Multi-Dimensional’ really means – consciously being aware that I simultaneously exist in more than just one dimension of consciousness at the same time!

More recently, I wanted to verify that the information I had believed about my Greeter and the Exit Points was in fact valid. Since I am a retired professional Hypnotherapist who, for more than 20 years, had provided Past Life Regression, Spiritual Regression and Life Between Lives Hypnotherapy services for my clients, I therefore, chose to participate in a hypnotic session where I, Howard, was the Director for the session, and my own Higher Self was the Source of the information transmitted. My conscious conversation with Artoomid, the name that my own Higher Self has chosen to be known by, was through one of my trained Channels, and the purpose was to either confirm or refute my prior conclusions regarding my OOBE and NDE experiences. Our conversation went as follows:

Howard: Artoomid, I'm reviewing the process that I went through and the images that I received, during my Heart Bypass Operation, and I still have some questions that have not been answered by the medical community. First, during my Heart Operation, did my heart stop?

Artoomid: For a little while, yes. It stopped on its own, but the physician felt he was in control, and was not concerned. He knew he could "bring it back." You may think that your body died, but it was not beyond repair. There is a time or a space in which the body physically functions, even though the heart has quit, and as long as the body is cared for, and assisted to receive oxygen, it can maintain what you consider "life" for a little while without the heart. But the heart needs to circulate the blood very soon. Your surgeon was aware that it had stopped, and he was able to quickly get it "re-beating." I see he used a pressure, not exactly a jolt, but a strong physical "squeezing" to trigger the heart to move again.

Howard: Good. During that time when my heart stopped, I became aware of what I call an "Out of body experience." After I woke up, I remembered looking down through the ceiling, and watching my physical body on the table.

Artoomid: Yes. Michael and I both were letting you know that you would soon reach a point where you would have a choice, and that your brain had suffered, but it was not beyond repair. And you would be given a choice to come back to a body that would take a lot of work and lot of dedication to bring back, and it was your Soul's choice. You think of it as "out of body," but it is a place that you can go to at any point, once you gain that control. You were there because you were at a juncture, so to speak, a point of choice.

Howard: What I became aware of was a man who looked to be physical, looked to be dressed in white: white pants, white shirt. Was I imagining this person, or was there a spiritual "greeter" of some sort there? Who was this being that appeared in my mind?

Artoomid: He was there to accompany you if you chose to leave your body behind. He is one whom you know on the other side. He is one who has volunteered to assist you in the past when you have left the physical body, and he will return when you do decide to move on. He is what you may think of as a "Tour Guide" or a "Way Shower" as you move on. He is there waiting on the other side and observing. He is performing this assistance to many and is considered as assistance for moving forward and back. He does this for not just one Soul, and this is his specialty. As you make the transition, he is there to hold your hand or guide you forward without fear. He is dressed in white as a comfort to you, as there is a soul memory for you that is positive for this type of appearance, and it is a calming sight for your Soul.

Howard: All right. Now during this Out of Body Experience, he asked me a question: "What do you choose to do, return to the body, or come home with me?" Is this the choice that's given to everyone who is in the process of transitioning?

Artoomid: Only to those whose physical body can be returned to. There are those to whom the body has been essentially lost. It has been damaged or has aged to the point that it cannot really be repaired. They do not have a choice; they must move on. But if your body can sustain you longer, and you wish to return to do further work, you may return, and that is the choice you were given.

Howard: During this experience with the Greeter, I was also aware that I was standing behind the greeter, and off to his left, behind him. I was observing the other "me" who was looking down at my body. What part of my consciousness was standing behind the Greeter, observing the other me?

Artoomid: You have been introduced to exactly what is meant by "multi-dimensionality," or the ability to observe from many different perspectives. The "you" that was watching the body closely was the part of the Soul Essence that is deeply imbedded into the physical body and is used to maintain and control and be within that body, and that part is the part of the consciousness that simply observes, that is not the physical, and that is the part that was with the being you call the Greeter. So, they were all parts of you, but from different perspectives of your Soul. You think of me, Artoomid, as your Higher Self, so to speak. I represent that bridge between embodiment in the physical and a Soul in the etheric, and the higher world of non-physicality, and the Higher Self moves back and forth between. So, the Higher Self, yes, is observing and was that entity, but was also still highly attached to the physical, as well as highly attached to the Superconscious part of you that is non-physical, your Soul. The Higher Self is essentially the link of the entire essence to the particular purpose at that time. The Higher Self is that part of you which directs and gives Soul Energy to the physicality, which observes and interprets and assists with your movement forward and the decisions that you make. The Higher Self is there to assist with your Guides and give nudges, to interpret the happenings in physicality that you use to grow forward. So, the Higher Self is essentially your internal guidance system, that part of you which, when used, can really help you to decide what works best for you. And it, therefore, can access the physical part of you as well as the Higher parts of you to help you.

Howard: So that was you, then?

Artoomid: Yes.   Michael and I together because, as your Guide, Michael is always there and available, but when you were in such crisis, he was very close to you, and I was with him. You have heard from other channels that once you are in the higher dimensions, you don't have a name, but are recognized by your vibration or your "Light." That is essentially that highest consciousness part of you, and that is what you are describing, your consciousness, or your Soul, your basic "who you are." You, as a Soul, are extended into Artoomid, which is represented in physicality as Howard.

Howard: My linear brain is trying to equate my physical body as third-dimensional, Artoomid is my fifth-dimensional Higher Self, and this other part of my consciousness is higher -- seventh, eighth, or whatever. Does that make sense?

Artoomid: Yes. That is exactly how it is. You mentioned earlier the differences in dimensions, and it is easier to understand from the perspective of that part of your consciousness or Soul, that it is able to represent itself in more than one dimension of consciousness, and it can simultaneously access more than one dimension. And as it learns and grows and gains more understanding of the dimensions themselves, it can vibrate at a faster and faster or higher and higher level, and therefore can access more and more information, which is considered from your perspective to be higher dimensions. So, it isn't step by step by step, but more of an expansion outward in waves. I am you, and I am that part of you that is your best friend, that is closest to knowing who and what you really are, and how you really serve. You are one of those who is aware and has memories of having been momentarily separated from your physical body, and able to return to it, and it is good to share with others so that it calms the fears of those who are unsure about what happens when one transitions. It helps for others to understand that it is not the end, but is merely a change, or in truth, a movement forward.

Howard: So, I believe that this was, in fact, a "Near-Death Experience.” Is that correct?

Artoomid: Yes. It was more than just an Out of Body Experience. You had the choice, at that point, to transition. So that is as near death as you get without transitioning!

Howard: I've heard this point of transitioning described by some as being at an "Exit Point." Are these Exit Points chosen by my Higher Self, or by my Soul, before I incarnate?

Artoomid: In general, yes. There is a belief that our whole life is predetermined by our Soul. But rather, the circumstances of that life are chosen because they will provide the best opportunities for those lessons. There are times when part of that lesson is perhaps a death at a young age, and that was foreseen by the Soul as part of the lesson. But there are also choices that can be made as a life nears an ending or time when the body begins to fail, where you may continue or choose to transition, based on your own comfort level with what you have learned here. So, you may be given a choice, or you may not. That does not happen for all Souls. There are Souls that are unaware, and they often experience a death that they see as unplanned, but that the Soul had planned before it happened. But it is not always that your Soul knew that on a certain date you would have a heart attack and that you would die or not die; but the Soul may know that you have choices as you reach those ages, and that those choices would still be left open until that time occurred. Your Soul did not necessarily know that you would choose to continue, but your Soul may have been well aware that you would be given that choice at that time.

Howard: Yes. I recall very vividly thinking that it will be very curious to see what “he” chooses.

Artoomid: Yes. And that “he” is a perspective from your core Soul, so to speak. You are given the opportunities, and you have free will to make the choice, and the Soul, once you make that choice, will guide you forward from there.

Howard: Alright. And I made the choice, obviously, to return because I felt there was something I still needed to do.

Artoomid: Yes. And you ARE doing it, Howard. Do not doubt that.

Howard: Good. Thank you, Artoomid. There is another aspect of this experience that I'd like to explore. (Higher Self of Channel) I'd like you to call Michael to come forward. (Pause)

Higher Self of Channel: He is here, and it is him.

Howard: Welcome, Michael! Thank you for coming. I was surprised, pleased but surprised, that you also were there observing my near-death experience, and I'm curious about what role did you have to play, that Artoomid was not able to, or capable of performing?

Michael: It was more that Artoomid and I were there to observe you as you moved through this event in your life and made your choice; and to be available to you, depending upon the choice that you made. We were both there, offering our strength through Soul Energy, and our comfort for you, to help you to rise above and to observe, and to remain calm as you did so. But we were not influencing your choice, other than to make you aware that the choice was there for you. We were not hastening the event, nor were we slowing it down. We were allowing it to occur as it needed to occur for you, and then we were there in support, to be available depending upon whatever choice you made. So, if you chose to go with the person that you call the "Greeter," we would have been there, as well, to help you move along your path forward. As you chose to stay, we were delighted to assist you to come back into yourself, and to have the strength to be willing to make the changes, or to put in the energy to allow that body to be functional enough that you could continue on your path in third-dimension. So, we were not making things happen, but we were there observing and being an internal strength for you. I am always there with you, Howard. I am always observing you. I come directly to communicate with you only when you ask for it, but I am always there observing.

Howard: All right. Thank You!

Since I am here writing this, and you are here reading my words, it is quite apparent that, during my OOBE/NDE, I exercised my free will choice and elected to ‘extend my contract’ and returned to my lifetime for some reason. I have since reflected on what that reason could be, and since everything in my current lifetime has really been about the central theme of Communication in one form or another, I have concluded that my Life Purpose for returning is to inform others, through the books I have published since my OOBE/NDE, of the many great benefits and methods of establishing conscious communication in a conversational dialog with ‘the other side.’ This ‘other side’ is from where we incarnate and to which we return when it is time to take off our physical ‘suit.’ And as more and more people begin to recognize that, while incarnated, they are also an integral part of the Collective Consciousness of Humanity, hopefully our inter-personal communications will begin to emphasize and support our common abilities and strengths, instead of our perceived differences and assumed limitations. That will be the beginning of Wisdom, both as an evolving individual spiritual consciousness and as the collective physical civilization we called Humankind.

Hindu Nepalese young man crashes his motorcycle and has OBE

November of 2011, the pressure was such that it seemed to me like whatever I am going through in my mind and body, there is nothing more than this in this world. So, it’s Saturday, I called my school friend, went to his place, took an illegal substance and we were enjoying the conversation for then.

I was a boy of their age and their background, but somehow I started in a different religion than theirs. In other words, I have joined a religious organisation which isn’t the normal one. So in this way I was engaged with them. Now the evening settled and the night approached, therefore everyone must separate to get into one's home. My father, mother, and sister were outside the valley. I was with my cousin. He called me saying come home soon; everyone is worried because you have not yet arrived home. I pacified him and told him to wait a bit more. I am leaving this place to come home. So, I left the rush in the gathering and the gathering settled. Then my friend came to see me to the parking lot. I started my bike. Whatever frustration of the world I was going through, I was still ready to show them my bike stunts as they were telling me to drive safe home. Now I am in the street riding on my bike. Unlike any other day, I was now going back to home as opposite of going to attain the gathering. This was now a rare happening.

This can never be explained and described. However, to give justice to this experience, it was the oneness experience. This experience happened to me in the very moment where I was riding my bike to get to my home. After the experience I am still on my gear and accelerator. But by now the oneness experience has happened. So, some way or other I reached the gate, but I just could not enter inside the house or I could have gone inside but I could not take inside the bike. I do not know. I had to make the decision because I cannot just stand on the gate. What would other people think. I am totally alone. Then I decided to go to the temple which was now the part of my routine somewhat anonymously because I cannot follow their all regulations and also because it’s only me from my clan doing like that.

Then I U-turn the bike. Now I am heading towards the temple in hopes that I would get some relief to the just happened experience. After the on-going experience which I thought is the most intense and there shall be nothing more than this. So on the way, I heard the voice. I guess the source of the voice knew what had happened to me – the oneness experience. The voice said, “Are you not the one who is desiring to go to Vaikuntha?” Mentally I affirmed it. Then I thought of the girls of my age who had also joined this religious organisation purposefully. When their time comes, might be they will also be greeted by the voice? And the phase was like, “I am now done with the world, never to come back.” A glorious moment.

Then I thought of my father and his purse. What will he think if he comes across this news? Well, by then I already will be gone. So, because the voice did offer me Vaikuntha, I became ready to leave my bike out of my control so that he will show up and take me to Vaikuntha as a deal. Then slowly I am lying on my bike leaving my hands and legs free of action of riding. That is the time when it came to my mind and I knew that, “Oh I will first have to die to get there.” Damn, it’s already late. Now again coming in control of bike is not quite possible. Neither did I mind. Because I just found that I was too tired riding the vehicle of time.

All of the sudden, I find myself lying in the street, wounded and people gathering all around me. I suspect the accident. I was trying to say this that oh I know nothing it was due to the way of the voice. But I could not explain this to these people. But might be my attempt did get heard. Then an unearthly man appeared up in the sky beyond the sagging wire. He conversed with me: “You can do it." Not knowing what he meant for me, I tried to do something in that state of life. And here my eyes see beneath my clothes, beneath my skin, the inner parts of the body which my logical mind says there must be organs of my body. But all I see is an unusual white light trying to exit my body and thus it is searching for the channels. And it is through uterus and then I am out.

Now my awareness didn't stay with the body but with the fluidic substance which left my body. Then I could see these people who just before were around my presence. Now it seemed like they could not sense my presence, because as they were gathering around my body, I was hovering around my body. I am now in the 4th dimension of existence where I supposed no one there could approach, not even police who were running towards the ocean. The nearest people around my physical body were two women; they were chatting with themselves. I in the fluid appearance went near one of them and because I was by now feeling calm and relieved, I asked for her to let's go and have a coffee together. I knew there is a coffee shop nearby. And I also knew that she is in the body and I am not so this desire of mine cannot be fulfilled. Soon I wanted to go near my body by crossing the lady.

However a fluid substance like mine pulled me towards a different direction and there I see the appearance of bright white light. It extended its form as it is encompassing all things around. And I went into it deeper and deeper like a solvent I dissolve in it. Then I lost the consciousness of me and mine. All was the bright white light. There I felt increasingly fun, happiness, and joy, many different emotions during the time being spent in this white light. Here I lost the concept of time and everything including the concept of me.

Then as I was coming back from this intense emotion, a sound asked me are you happy? The voice intensity was such that this was a setting so that I could be happy. I said its joy more than happiness. Then I again re-entered the bright light. And now I was active like I thought the path of the wind. I went near the guard post where an armed police man was doing his duty. Based on my past experience, I told him that he will not bother to go around my body and rescue me because he has a duty to do here. There was no point that he listen to what I have to say like the lady didn’t get my coffee proposal, but the wind. Then I found he was looking down the street. There were people running towards the ocean. Might be they wanted to know about the accident and also the condition of my physical body. I went towards my body now with their space. Suddenly I was pulled back, and in the air there became a crevasse. I was passing through the crevasse; at the end was the sagging wire. Since I was not my body, I could pass through the sagging wire untouched and so did it happen. And I came on the other side of the sagging wire.

Here, many aspects of event happened simultaneously. So, simultaneously, I got the life review where I can find myself as a child contemplating death for the first time. Now, here in the air I am again living that part of my time and this time an unearthly wise man is with me whereas at that moment I was alone. Then at the same time I was also introduced to a landscape where the wise man gave me the wisdom not having which I was living as an ignorant. There also I knew people indirectly about their life style which I felt like an attraction for the one who now has left the body and so must be desiring to have it again seeing other living. But I also had interest in them as a service to them so that the humanity could be living for their ultimate. So, I tried to untie the knot of the hoarding board which I found to be a distraction because it leads people unnecessarily to be inclined towards the material and so the search for the ultimate could not be reached. This was my thought as the task which I would do if I was able and capable to do. So at that time this came to my mind and I tried for it. I also glimpsed the appearance of my grandfather there. So, as I was unknotting the hoarding board there was a kind of uncomfortable moment for me as I find people’s energy was attached there; their sense of enjoyment was all attached in there.

Then I went on the other side of the hoarding board, and there I see the parasites living on human emotion. Soon the wise man again appeared and touched me in my back and led me to the tunnel. I agreed and went through it but there the wise man didn't come along with me. For a long time I did pass through the tunnel where there was no right, no left, no sights. I was moving through the tunnel. I took so long and I could not sense any destination; it felt like forever. And as I felt it like forever, the fear of death burst in that tunnel. This fear was such that if I would cross over this boundary I would not be able to return to my physical body again. Then due to the fear of death I recalled the initial voice to whom I said I want to go to Vaikuntha. Then and there I got my paradigm changed and I was ready to explain that it is not Vaikuntha where I want to go but some other realm which according to scripture is a higher realm than Vaikuntha.

Then I departed from the tunnel. The tunnel was going in another direction and I came out of it to the space above the earth where I could see the moon very close to me. And on the other side is the earth, rotating, taking its own time. The earth was blue. It was the ocean. Having been born and lived in a land-locked country, I had never seen the ocean. But after seeing ocean, I went towards earth not in the direction of space also not even the moon.

Now I was placed on the place where it felt like I was in the top of the world. There I explained my desire to go to another realm rather than to Vaikuntha. And then I fell in the layers of stage and as I was passing through these layers I looked up and found four intelligent beings looking at me while I was passing through this layer.

After that, I am back in the body. I was in the vehicle on the way to hospital.


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