With record breaking cold temperatures, my daughter was born into the world on a Saturday afternoon on the second day of January 1982. Seeing how this was my second childbirth, I had past experience to go by, and that gave me no clue of what was to come. My doctor had been out of town for the first birth, and I felt confident since he would be present for the second one. I had a very long labor for 3 days. This was due to what was described as an atrophic uterus.
I had the same length of time with the birth of my first child. I had been very exhausted and looking forward to getting on with the arrival of my baby. The doctor misjudged how much time was needed to access the anesthesiologist which became an issue, and even though I was ready to deliver, I was told, now, to wait for his arrival. This caused more stress on the baby, and I started to convulse. I lost any control of my body and became incoherent to the commands of the nurse to breathe. Finally, I remember a doctor rushing in and turning me on my side to administer the anesthetic. Before the drugs could work, I had delivered the baby.
The sweetest sound to my ear was the gentle cry of her voice. Just knowing that she was breathing made me feel relieved. But, I felt myself slipping and unable to breathe. The last words I heard from the doctor were, "Come on, stop bleeding!" I looked in the overhead mirror and saw that my skin color was very bluish gray. I felt my heart pumping faster and faster, trying to keep up with the loss of blood. The nurse slapped an oxygen mask over me and yelled at me to breathe. I just looked at her and thought,"I can't. I'm too tired." Then everything inside just stopped. I felt a peace come over me. My heart stopped and my breathing stopped. I felt like a wave of movement rising above my body to the ceiling. It was wonderful! No more pain! I feel so light! No heavy body!
At first, I wondered why were lights shining in my eyes. Then I realized I was immersed in a white light all around me. I asked to please send me back to be with my new baby. I could hear someone saying, "I'll go back with her." But, I did not recognize the voice or see anyone. I don't know why I knew to converse with the light. It just felt right. I then felt my form of energy snap back into my body. I felt pain and heaviness again. It was like slipping back into an old shoe. I opened my eyes to see all kinds of wires attached to my body and head. Doctors were standing over me checking my vital signs. For the next three or four hours, I stayed in recovery until the bleeding stopped. The next day I delivered the rest of the placenta the doctor forgot to remove.
My life has not been the same as before the experience. I used to fear the unknown death experience. Now I know there is nothing on earth like the love that is felt in that white light. I am looking forward to someday experiencing that feeling again. In the meantime, I see the world as a different place than before.