NDE Accounts

These NDE accounts were submitted to our website and are published here anonymously. Minor edits have been made to protect the identity of the experiencer and others who may have been involved with the experience. Note to researchers and authors: IANDS cannot grant permission to publish quotations from these NDE accounts because we have not received permission from the NDE authors to do so. However, we advise authors who wish to use quotations from these accounts to follow the Fair Use Doctrine. See our Copyright Policy for more information. We recommend adopting this practice for quotations from our web site before you have written your book or article.

Difficulty Being Back in My Body 01 Feb 2008
Watching Myself Struggle 01 Feb 2008
Another Chance to Live 24 Jan 2008
Spirit Flung Out of Body 22 Dec 2007
Sense of Peace 01 Dec 2007
Learning with Being 23 Nov 2007
Natural Continuum 23 Nov 2007
Between Worlds 04 Oct 2007
Corridors of Life's Images 16 Sep 2007
Telepathic Communication 16 Sep 2007
Quiet and Clarity 16 Sep 2007
I Could See My Body 25 Aug 2007
Time to Return 25 Aug 2007
Love Each Other and Learn 02 Aug 2007
Light and Tunnel Beneath the Water 02 Aug 2007
A Place with Emanating Love 28 Jul 2007
Peaceful and Not Frightening 19 Jul 2007
Surrounded by Pure Love 19 Jul 2007
I'm Home 19 Jul 2007
Outside a Gate with Other Beings 19 Jul 2007
Lucid Thought in Dark Void 08 Jul 2007
A Wondrous River of Peace 08 Jul 2007
Everything Self-Evident 06 Jun 2007
Shed Body Like Caterpillar for More Beautiful Form 15 May 2007
Bright Oversized Sun 10 May 2007
Surrounded by God's Love 09 May 2007
Sensed Someone Beside Me 09 May 2007
Lost Breath of Life 09 May 2007
Shown How Illnesses Start on an Energetic Level 26 Apr 2007
Following Spiritual Guide toward White Tunnel 17 Mar 2007
Not Ready to Go 26 Feb 2007
Powerful Bright White Force 01 Feb 2007
Surrounded by Intense Energy 25 Jan 2007
Ultimate Peacefulness 25 Jan 2007
Review to Send On or Back 06 Jan 2007
Standing in the Greenest Grass 21 Dec 2006
Floating through the Air 21 Dec 2006
Caring Voices 21 Dec 2006
The Brightest of Lights 21 Dec 2006
A Healing Robe of Stones 21 Dec 2006
Streaming Bright Light 21 Dec 2006
Loving Light Took Grief and Said Grow 24 Nov 2006
Shimmering River of Life 18 Jun 2006
Life Span 13 May 2006
Loving Light 08 May 2006
Held Back 05 May 2006
Gargantuan Energy Source 16 Apr 2006
Revelation 04 Apr 2006
Out of Body Ecstasy 02 Apr 2006
Sweet Contentment 02 Apr 2006
Image 13 Mar 2006
Blue Light 13 Mar 2006
More than Euphoria amid the Presence 05 Mar 2006
Beauty and No Fear at Drowning Point 05 Mar 2006
Sister's Prayer 14 Feb 2006
At Birth 14 Feb 2006
Watching Over Me 31 Jan 2006
Three Accounts 29 Jan 2006
Unborn 24 Jan 2006
An Angelic Visit 22 Jan 2006
Spirit Direction 22 Jan 2006
Better Lives for Children 18 Jan 2006
A Choice to Continue or Return 05 Jan 2006
Brighter Path 05 Jan 2006
Misty White Light 05 Jan 2006
Waved Back by an Angel 05 Jan 2006
Black Room 05 Jan 2006
A Boundary of Flowers 05 Jan 2006
Living Grace 05 Jan 2006
Happy Freedom 05 Jan 2006
Archive through January 3, 2005 03 Jan 2005
Archive through August 20, 2004 20 Aug 2004
Archive through May 12, 2004 12 May 2004
Archive through April 6, 2004 06 Apr 2004
Archive through March 30, 2004 30 Mar 2004
Archive through March 11, 2004 11 Mar 2004
Archive through June 2, 2003 02 Jun 2003
Archive through April 10, 2003 10 Apr 2003
Archive through February 09, 2003 09 Feb 2003
Archive through December 19, 2002 19 Dec 2002
Archive through September 08, 2002 08 Sep 2002
Archive through July 15, 2002 15 Jul 2002
Archive through May 22, 2002 22 May 2002
Archive through May 09, 2002 09 May 2002
Archive through February 26, 2002 26 Feb 2002

Latest Entries

Woman, abused as infant, has NDE after-effects

When I was approximately two years old, my father looked at me one day and decided he wanted to “be the first”. He raped me as an infant. Many years later, when he was beginning to show signs of dementia, someone spoke to him about how he should treat me. His response was, “She’s my daughter and I’ll do what I want with her,” and then proceeded to tell the above story (in more graphic detail). This came back to me more than a year after that conversation, and after he had passed.

I have no conscious memory of that event from my infancy. However, I have known since my 20s that something of that nature had happened to me. I knew it because my emotional and physical responses in certain situations were classic sexual-abuse-victim reactions. I knew it because of “cellular memory”: my body knew, even though my mind didn’t. I spent many years in therapy, reading, and self-evolutionary work, trying to figure it out, trying to remember what happened to me. It wasn’t until my father’s late-life “brag” (that was his point, to demonstrate his “rights”) was relayed to me that I finally had an answer. I was then in my 50s. But I still have no conscious memory of the event.

When I started attending the Tucson IANDS presentations, I was fascinated. To know what was on the other side, to hear others’ personal accounts, was at once uplifting and reassuring, intellectually engaging and emotionally supportive. I joined IANDS, and was further delighted to start receiving their “Monthly NDE” reports. Recently I came across a couple of them that really caught my attention.

One talked about NDEs in children, written by P.M.H. Atwater. She spoke of how “children compensate”. Rather than deal with their experience, they adjust other things around it; that even into mature years, the puzzle is often not solved. They “begin abstracting (dealing with broad conceptual ideas), are smarter than their parents, school teachers, friends”. “They forever miss HOME, the greater collective they know is real.” She says 90% are unable to bond with their parents. She continues: “Typical characteristics afterward: heightened senses, vivid imagination, intellectual curiosity and drive, psychic/intuitive, loneliness, higher I.Q., deep capacity to care, great potential for an ethical path, aware of future moments, strongly independent even if shy, nonlinear development. The younger the child, the greater the jump in I.Q., [and] the ability to abstract.” They are “doers with good ideas, inventions, and the energy to get jobs done”. They have a heightened consciousness, and a tendency to nerve-stomach-skin sensitivity.

These things all represent aspects of myself. I never felt particularly close to any of my family. (I’m not even sure what “bonding” with a parent might actually be.) I never thought I was smarter than average, until I had more experience with a broader range of people – and then it became clear to me: my comments were often over the heads of other people. My thoughts and ideas were often complex and fairly advanced in logic and principle, and went unnoticed (at best) or ridiculed (at worst). I am very resourceful and can often come up with unique ways to deal with a problem or situation. I am a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) as defined by Dr. Elaine Aron. I am intuitive and perceptive of people’s emotions and intentions. I can often “see” likely outcomes of present actions. I can often tell when someone is lying. I have a strong sense of history and how it connects everything, as well as my own participation in many time periods. I have had several Spiritually Transformative Experiences (STEs), mostly regarding my own past lives. And I have an awareness of a broader future for humanity and the planet.

A different Monthly NDE mentions the writer’s “excruciatingly painful awareness”, a “feeling of desolate isolation from my real existence”. I have always felt a deep, profound, and painful sadness, just from living on the physical plane, never feeling a part of this place, never feeling “at home”. I know things about how this life works that most other people don’t seem to be aware of, things in terms of personal interactions, repercussions, and energetic flow. At least, sometimes.

Other times I am clueless as to social norms and acceptable behaviors, or what some enigmatic comment is supposed to convey. And yet I was never able to utilize my sensitivities for anything other than personal evolution. It did not help me find jobs or friends, I never felt “successful”, either monetarily or socially. I have never had sufficient certainty of my ideas to help others by way of predictions or information regarding their own lives. All I can do is give my own thoughts and impressions as suggestions, and if they accept what I say, it may help them to understand their circumstances or make their own choices. Often, however, they do not. I sometimes feel like Cassandra of Greek mythology, cursed to give true prophecies which nobody ever believes.

In this second Monthly NDE, the writer says she has no memory of the experience, she simply “knew” that she had been on another plane of existence, and had been forced or somehow persuaded to return to her physical body. This really woke me up. “Having no memory of the experience” is the same way I describe my own sexual assault: I have no conscious memory of it, yet I “know” it happened. This led me to what felt like a revolutionary concept: perhaps I had, as a result of rape at a very early age, left my body and experienced an NDE. For reasons at which I can only guess, my memory of the physical event and my retreat out of my body – and whatever happened on the other side – had been erased. I would guess that this was done to protect me and help me survive.

The emotional pain, shyness, reluctance to socialize, constant anxiety, and fear for my protection and future have been with me as long as I can remember. I have always known that I had to take care of myself, I could rely on nobody else for my physical, mental, or emotional wellbeing. Over the course of more than 60 years, that intuition has been borne out, and continues to be true.

I have always had a deep need and respect for the truth, beyond what most others would act on, even to my own detriment in terms of money or personal cost. If you don’t have truth, I felt, you don’t have anything. My mother’s description of me, as told to the mother of a friend of mine, was “very independent”.

Despite crippling shyness, I was compelled to utilize my musical talents in singing and acting. I have a number of stomach/digestive issues, and I am physically very sensitive. (I.e., things that are very painful to me would go unnoticed by many.) I have always tried to help others, though my efforts were often misunderstood. I feel a visceral pain at cruelty or subjugation of any kind, to anyone, whether I know them or not. I have always championed the underdog in most any situation or society at large, including (especially!) the animal kingdom.

My empathic abilities seem to be very sharp, yet indistinct. I can be overwhelmed by feelings that often make no sense to me, if I happen to notice. More often, I get totally lost in the emotion and react to that, and I don’t notice that it likely comes from people or circumstances around me. This is complicated by my own, often very strong, emotions. It took me decades to realize this was happening, and I am still learning how to differentiate and identify sources (me or not-me).

I describe this laundry list of “after-effects” as the only evidence of my NDE. It may seem like I’m jumping to conclusions, but that is the nebulous nature of my attributes and abilities. I have only my intuition to go on. It may sound self-absorbed, yet that seems to be my purpose here in this lifetime. My constant goal throughout my life has been to improve myself as a human being and increase my spiritual awareness. Everything else was secondary. (I was once told by a numerologist that I was hoping to make this my last incarnation.) For the most part, the only real achievements I have made during my life have been in introspection, self-realization, and personal evolution. And perhaps those are no small achievements. So, make of it what you will. If my story helps anyone else in their own journey, that will be a whole new kind of success for me.

Greeted by vibrantly-colored spirit guides and guardian angels

I was involved in a horrific three-car motor vehicle accident on Sunday, March 8th, 2020. Doctors told me that I am fortunate to be alive and that most people involved in a head-on collision such as mine don’t survive it. 

I am writing to you in part to process what I experienced during my accident and also try to find some answers or understanding about what happened to me. 

The accident occurred in front of my eldest daughter's home. I turned on my left-hand blinker, slowed down, and noticed a white car traveling extremely close behind me. I proceeded to slow down while going East on the residential street and felt the white car hit me from behind. That caused my car to spin out of control and forced me to go over the divider into oncoming traffic proceeding Westbound where I was hit again head-on. I lost consciousness after the second impact. When my daughter approached my car she mentioned that when she first saw me after the accident my eyes were a distinctive blue-white 'haze' and a type of milky color in my eyes. She saw me slumped over the steering wheel making a gurgling sound and not breathing.  

What I saw was myself being tossed back and forth in the car with a cloud of white smoke surrounding me, which I assume was the airbag deploying, but I was not connecting with the person in the driver's seat at the time. While I was observing myself in the car, I noticed the color of the t-shirt as the most brilliant magenta color and finally realized the person in the car was me, because I specifically wore that t-shirt for comfort and it’s one of my favorite t-shirts. As I was connecting that the person in the driver seat was me, at that moment I was literally out of my physical body. Next, I observed me slumped over the steering wheel and then I felt my body floating away from the inside of my car and I started rising above my car.

I had the most incredible feeling of oneness and joy and absolutely no pain at all. I can’t really describe it, but I could see everything around me, under me, above me and behind me. While I was fascinated with this concept and trying to understand what I was experiencing I noticed there were five to six of what I believe were my guardian angels and spirit guides that were waiting for me within the most indescribable light surrounding them. The brilliant colors are hard to describe, but they were mostly orange hues with yellow streams of light behind them. The colors were so vibrant and gorgeous. It felt like they were waiting for me to attend a kind of celebration. While I was observing this amazing scene, I thought of my family and instantly with great force and speed I was sucked back into my body, gasping for air, and started feeling the most excruciating pain. 

After eight weeks of recovering, I have gained a new perspective on life. I can honestly say I feared death and the unknown before my accident, but due to my experience, I have lost the fear of death. I have a new sense of what my purpose is and my spirituality has strengthened. I also tended to be a bit shy and not speak up or express myself; however, I found my voice and now have the ability to express my feelings more often. I am a doula and I cherish serving babies and their families and yet again it’s given me an increased awareness to serve and love my family and friends more often. 

Young mother drowns in sailing accident

It was a windy day for sailing our 18’ “Flying Dutchman” sailboat with 3 onboard, my husband at tiller, his father (crew) and I was attached to a “trapeze” for ballast.  My harness was velcroed to my waist with a “quick release” toggle (the trapeze wire was attached to top of mast).

My husband asked his dad to lean back for more ballast as a gust hit our sails. Dad leaned forward and the boat capsized, and I found myself trapped under 15’ of water.   My harness would not disconnect. I panicked and expelled all my air (after about 30 seconds of struggling with the harness).  I also clearly remember I sucked in a lot of water in my lungs and shortly after gave up fighting my drowning and “gave in” to death.  

At that point I vividly remember seeing a white light. I felt absolutely calm, happy, eager to join the other dying people going to the light. I felt family members (ie, Grandmother, Grandfather) with me, helping me, guiding me.  I remember other souls, more white in appearance and winged (ie, angels) helping me.  As I approached the end of this tunnel to the light, I heard a clear male voice say to me, “Go back, it’s not your time, you have a son to take care of.” My son was about a year old at the time.

Those words jarred me back to my bad situation but gave me strength to fight some more, and at the same time my husband began to dive down with a mouthful of air to “buddy breathe” me to wellness.  He also got my harness to release (on third dive down), and I bolted to the water's surface to find I was under the boat, breathing stale air!  I dove down again, through ropes and sails, to finally reach the surface to breathe “that blue air.”

I was under the water for almost 3 minutes, according to my husband and his father.

I will never forget this NDE and feel blessed to know how pleasant the next stage will be (after my death).  I am not afraid, have experienced a few close calls with my health since then, still not afraid. I also believe and read and practice constantly spirituality, meditation, compassion, etc., trying to make sense of this event.

Connect

twitter  you tube  google plus  facebook

Share

Explore the Extraordinary