When I was 13 years old, I
was in surgery for appendicitis when my appendix ruptured during the
surgery. My first memory is that of seeing a silver dome below me, later
realizing this was the top of the operating room light. I saw the medical
team working on my physical body and sensed their "panic"
and sincere concern for me. I knew my body was being taken care of and
that left me free to go. Go where?
As soon as I had the thought, a light
appeared in the distance above me. I felt a motion pulling forward and
just went in the direction of the light. There was a brief period of
darkness, but I had no sense of fear. I remember thinking that I should
be afraid, but I was pleased that I was not.
As I came to be in the light there was a presence of someone with me.
I did not consciously know who this was, but I trusted this presence
completely. I remember seeing hundreds of people welcoming me back,
like they were glad to see me. I don't remember knowing any of them,
and yet somehow I knew them all. I was told that I must go to meet someone
who was waiting for me. As I was in the presence of this one I was to
meet, the light became so bright that I thought that this light should
hurt my eyes and yet it did not. From my perspective at the time, this
being was the Father I had been taught about in heaven. He held out
his arms, and I went to him so naturally and was held by him.
I remember feeling small and completely in awe of the beauty of this
pure love I was being surrounded by. We had much conversation without
saying any words. One of my greatest memories is that of all knowledge
being available. If I had a question in my thought, I immediately had
the answer. If I thought, "what's over there?" I found myself
"over there." This was great fun! I was home, and I wanted
to stay! The Father told me I did not have to go back, but I would have
to make a choice. There was no question in my mind that I wanted to
stay. He said he understood, but he asked me to spend some time in the
garden and really think about why I chose to enter into this life in
the first place. Oh, the garden! Thankfully, a place I have not forgotten.
I found myself seemingly physically alone, and at the same time, knowing
I was not exactly alone in this most beautiful place. There was a large
tree shading the most incredibly green grass, surrounded by flowers
of every color, size, and shape that ever existed. I heard a humming
sound like a tone of some kind. When I looked, I became aware of the
individual sound each flower made, like each flower was very much alive
and had its own personality, indicated by the tone that it made. All
flowers together made a sound of perfection and harmony. I asked the
Father in thought, "what is in the soil that would create such
beautiful flowers?" He answered, and I felt him smiling, "unconditional
love." Every living thing will find its own perfection with unconditional
love.
I told him that I did want to stay, but felt I needed to somehow let
my parents know not to be sad or angry if I did not come back. I felt
if I could just explain to them where I was, they wouldn't mind so much.
The next thing I remember, I was back at the hospital and saw my mom
walking next to a bed I was lying on. I remember calling her name, and
being right in front of her face calling to her, and she could not hear
me. I then woke up in the recovery room, pulling at the oxygen mask
that made me feel like I was suffocating.
Experience entered into the
IANDS Archives April 4, 2002
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