Nobody Ever Dies We Just Change

Print
E-mail

I was sitting in a bar, drinking and smoking with my biker buddies. We were out partying on our Harleys. Then it happened. I got weak and started sweating. The brothers saw me fading and asked what up? Told 'em I needed to go outside for some cool air. Went out and sat on the first bike I saw which is a big no no, but I was fading fast and I needed to sit. The world started spinning and I hit the dirt.



Lying on the dirt unable to move, I started to laugh. I always laugh when I get scared or have extreme pain. I was looking down at me thinking great, I'm helpless as a new born baby. Then it hit me, I'm looking at me. WTF!

Gravity pulled me into this dark place. Total darkness and it was scaring the c*** out of me. Then my brother called to me. “Up here,” he said.  I looked up and there he was looking young and strong. I realized I was in some kind of hole. Get me outta here Dog. He lifted me out of my hole and slapped me on the back. We hugged. I had not seen him in a couple of years. You see Dog is dead.

“So I'm dead now?” I asked. He told me, “Nobody ever dies, we just change.” I looked around and I could see the whole of everything--planets, suns, the whole enchilada. I felt good, safe, loved and not scared no more.

He told me, “I have to go back.” “No thanks,” I said. “My life sucks and this place is good.” He said, “It's not your decision, God's will.” I said, “Why can't I stay?” He told me “You have not finished this life. You have work to do.” Then pictures of my children popped out like 3D or hologram.

It was like I was transported back to earth. I was lying in the dirt again. I pissed my pants, very embarrassing.

I sat up and I felt fine physically but my mind was confused. The next day I called in sick and went to a walk-in clinic. They hooked me up to a machine and told me I had a mild heart attack. They did all kinds of blood tests. They put me down and sent a camera up my leg looking for the problem area but they didn’t find anything. They have me taking all kinds of pills. I’m not worried. I'm stuck here for the next 20 years or so till I finish my job.

So I'm different now, way different. I can see what people are thinking or feeling. I just see it and I'm never wrong. I think about love all the time. I forgave my ex for cheating on me and having a baby not from me. I love the baby that is not from me; he is my family. Oh yeah, I care about my family a lot more. I'm more involved with my family. I mean I'm all up in their business. I quit drinking and smoking. I feel like God is inside of me and I can get instruction from him. I just have to ask and the answer comes. My anger is gone. There’s a bunch of other stuff. I could go on for a long time. I could write a book on how to behave and what lies ahead in the future. My brain has more horse power and moves at light speed. I'm reading all the time. If the old me met me now, the old one would call me a sheep.

Latest Entries

The Light Within

My father had died a few months before. We had a many issues between us, and it was very difficult to let him go. I refused to leave his side while he was dying, as if to make up for all the things that happened while he was alive.After his death I experienced grief. Wow, I never knew it would feel like that! I forgot how to do my job or relate to other people. I had a hard time acting and feeling normal, but I managed to get by.

Read more...
 
Everything is Love

One evening, I was talking with a friend on the phone who knew that I was interested in exploring different spiritual practices and religions. He said, "Hey, you should check out a Society of Friends meeting. They don't have any sermons and just meditate for an hour or so together." I was intrigued and after we hung up I looked them up on the Internet. I found out that they were what I knew as "the Quakers" and after only a few minutes of searching, came across a posting that explained a style of meditation they do called "Looking for the light within." I printed it out, took it to my bed and read what it said. It was very simple: Get into a comfortable position, close your eyes, focus your attention on the darkness and look for a light within. When you see a light, focus on it. So that's exactly what I did.

Read more...
 
NDE in Pre-Term Labor

I was in the hospital with pre-term labor. The physician on duty administered turbutaline (brethine) intravenously. Within seconds, I didn't feel right, grew very hot and had barely said "Something doesn't feel right" when I blinked out of my normal version of consciousness and blinked into the void. The medication stopped my heart (I later learned). I was in a vast dark place that was quite peaceful. I wasn't sure where I was but knew that I was fully conscious and no longer in my body. I tried to wiggle my toes and fingers but discovered I had none. I knew I existed in only pure consciousness.

Read more...