Peace Despite Difficult Life

Print
E-mail

On December 1, 1986 I was in a head on collision with a drunk driver. I think my coma was induced because of severe bleeding of my face. I had a closed head injury and was told my brain tripled in size. Due to swelling, they couldn't perform a CAT scan until three days after the accident. I don't remember anything.  The first year after the accident is like a blur. I am now divorced. My communication skills are not as good. I'm much more irresponsible. I've had trouble working. I hear voices when I’m stressed. The voices make me crazy, like it’s me physically but someone else acts out. I hear voices of faith. I listen real hard. It’s beautiful at times but the average person thinks I'm crazy. I've been with mental health since the year 2000. They say I'm schizophrenic. I take Zoloft. They had me on Haldol and then switched me to Abilify. When I was in a coma I was in a place of peace detached from anything earthly and it was the most beautiful peace that cannot be described here on earth. Since my accident my life is very difficult. I've changed personality wise. I had a frontal lobe injury. I'm trying to get disability benefits. I can't hold a job. I've been denied once but I've just submitted another application. It’s not normal in the eyes of most people. I consider it a blessing because our creator showed me a piece of heaven so I came back with that peace!

Latest Entries

The Light Within

My father had died a few months before. We had a many issues between us, and it was very difficult to let him go. I refused to leave his side while he was dying, as if to make up for all the things that happened while he was alive.After his death I experienced grief. Wow, I never knew it would feel like that! I forgot how to do my job or relate to other people. I had a hard time acting and feeling normal, but I managed to get by.

Read more...
 
Everything is Love

One evening, I was talking with a friend on the phone who knew that I was interested in exploring different spiritual practices and religions. He said, "Hey, you should check out a Society of Friends meeting. They don't have any sermons and just meditate for an hour or so together." I was intrigued and after we hung up I looked them up on the Internet. I found out that they were what I knew as "the Quakers" and after only a few minutes of searching, came across a posting that explained a style of meditation they do called "Looking for the light within." I printed it out, took it to my bed and read what it said. It was very simple: Get into a comfortable position, close your eyes, focus your attention on the darkness and look for a light within. When you see a light, focus on it. So that's exactly what I did.

Read more...
 
NDE in Pre-Term Labor

I was in the hospital with pre-term labor. The physician on duty administered turbutaline (brethine) intravenously. Within seconds, I didn't feel right, grew very hot and had barely said "Something doesn't feel right" when I blinked out of my normal version of consciousness and blinked into the void. The medication stopped my heart (I later learned). I was in a vast dark place that was quite peaceful. I wasn't sure where I was but knew that I was fully conscious and no longer in my body. I tried to wiggle my toes and fingers but discovered I had none. I knew I existed in only pure consciousness.

Read more...