Knowing Purity


I grew up in a small town, population approximately 3,000. I knew almost nothing of other religions/philosophies outside of Christianity. In 1976 I had major surgery to remove an acoustic neuroma. Two neuro-surgeons alternated performing the surgery that lasted 12 hours. I spent six hours in recovery and a day in ICU. Prior to surgery at about 5 a.m., I was given medication in my room to begin the anesthesia. As I faded away and couldn't keep my eyes open, my mother and brother prayed over me. My brother put his hands on top of my head during the praying, and I had intense flashes of white light inside or over my head. I "knew" I would be all right. I cried while being wheeled out of my room, and remember saying to the nurse I didn't know why I was crying because either way I was going to be all right. I don't remember anything more after that. Next I realized I had floated to the ceiling, but I had no form or body.

I was unemotional and curiously observing the men and women in green hospital gowns working intensely over the body. The body I recognized as the one I used to be in called Judy. I had no attachment to it nor emotion about it. It was as if I was totally disconnected from it. The hospital people may have been talking, but I do not recall any specific conversation or words. I had no form; if anything perhaps a mist, vapor or formless bubble. I recall the beautiful color of a very soft, pale transparent aqua, where and why I don't know. To this day that color draws me to it like a magnet--I love it.

I felt calm and observant, no emotions and incredibly peaceful. I went up through a dark, stone-like tunnel--similar to an old well shaft except turned on its side in an upward angle--drawn like a magnet to this beautiful, brilliant, and golden white light. While in the tunnel I didn't see or speak to anyone. The peace and bliss throughout all this is beyond description. I liken it to the peace that passeth all understanding. In reflection from my now physical point of view, it's as if one has no mind or body...the physical things that cause all emotion, pain, happiness, ups and downs, etc. It is without all that. Remaining is pure bliss and peace.

Since there was no such thing as time or space, I am not sure of the sequence of the next events. As I left the tunnel into the light, I was in a space with no boundaries of floors, ceilings or walls. It was a beautiful white space. At one point I became the pure white light. Nothing was there except this pure, white, infinite light. I knew purity and had total knowledge. The "I" and the knowing were not an ego knowing. I just was, nothing else existed.

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