The Essence of Life


I was in ICU after a bad car accident with internal injuries and bleeding. This was a Thursday evening. I had part of my liver removed, a collapsed lung, and broken bones. I was sleeping. I believe I had been on very strong pain killers. Later, I learned my vital signs were very weak and the nurses thought I would die. I was not cognizant. At some point I found myself leaving my body.

My experience was completely mind and space. I didn't have any visions, but rather sensation and awareness. I went up to a dark space (I say dark even though I wasn’t seeing). There were many, many souls passing upward. It was like a train station with alot of activity. In this place, I was a highly enlightened being, absorbing knowledge through intuition. I understood that I was in the world of the afterlife where the soul reaches a higher level of consciousness. I dwelled for some time, absorbing knowledge and insight. I thought about many things that had happened in my life and about things that other people and I had done, especially my mentally ill mother who was abusive sometimes. I was aware of experiencing this without judgement. I was aware that humans judge the actions of others, but that judgment is a kind of human folly. I understood that bad action is inevitable given the lower level of enlightenment of humans. I learned that the hurt from human life was not meaningful in the vast scheme. At the higher level there is no judgement; on the human level forgiveness, understanding how people behave from weakness, is what allows people to move forward. I learned that what people think of as God is the energy of love, which binds the universe together, all life, all physics. The energy of love is the essence of life. I felt astounded and grateful to experience this state of enlightenment and to know 100% that there is only mortal death, but that the soul continues. I remember being surprised that I had ascended as an intact entity, still “me.”

After a time, I came upon two beings that I perceived as workers processing the passing of souls. In the Christian vernacular, I would equate them with angels. One said to me through intuition, “Are you ready to go?” I responded emphatically, “No, I am too young to die. I have things to do! I want to go back.” I was not afraid of death as I realized it was a continuation into a much higher form of being. Yet, I was not ready to leave human life. I had a sense of the beings communicating with each other. One said, “You may return.” I felt a rapid decent and slammed into my body.

I woke up for the first time since surgery, opening my eyes for a few seconds. I felt immense pain and saw all these wires and tubes connected to my body. Then I went back to sleep. The next time I woke up there were nurses around. From that time it was clear that my vital signs were improving rapidly. That was Saturday afternoon. The nurses said earlier in the day my vital signs had suddenly turned around. Over the next 10 days of my recovery in the hospital, I felt a strong presence of one of those unearthly beings beside my bed. Although not Christian, I was surprised at thinking of this being as Jesus. I experienced an infusion of the love energy healing me quickly. I don’t remember telling anyone about my experience at the time. They wouldn’t believe me.

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