Life's History Exploded into Consciousness

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I was sitting in my parked car. My heart stopped beating. This happened with an intense sensation that started near my heart and rushed up my spine into my brain, where it appeared to continue out of the top of my head. It was a chaotic moment. I didn't know what had happened. Out of this chaos came a deep state of tranquility; I experienced this incredibly intense and calm state of awareness. There was no drifting of consciousness as in the normal living state. It was an all-consuming state of awareness. I remember first becoming aware of how quiet everything had become, how incredibly quiet my reality had become. I panicked for a moment, attempting to get up. I could not move any part of my body. I knew my heart had stopped beating and that I was dying. I understood immediately that I had no recourse but to experience my death.

My attention was drawn upward, out the top of my head into a tunnel of sort that had a bright light up in the there. I could feel myself beginning to go into the tunnel. My life's history exploded into my consciousness. I thought I wasn't ready to go yet, I had more things to accomplish in this life, and I wanted another chance to do the things I needed to do. This light up in the tunnel turned into a lightning bolt that shot into my brain and down my spine into my heart, the most intense moment in my life. My heart exploded with energy, beginning to beat again. The intense calm and quiet and the entire state of mind was gone with that flash of energy into my heart.

I was lying there, slouched over in the seat of my car in a state of nausea and physical shock. I could hear and feel my heart pounding in my chest. It felt as if my heart was going to explode, like it had been injected with an insane amount of adrenaline capable of making my heart pound with such intensity. The nausea was so intense, I just lay there for more than four hours before driving away from a pitiful state. I did not see any medical professionals when this happened. I had cardiovascular problems for quite a few years afterward, but I have rebuilt my cardiovascular health in the years since.

My experience is unique in my life's memories. Nothing in my life approaches that experience. It stands alone for what it was to me. Those thoughts about more to do in my life before I go have been with me every step of the way in all the years since. If I ever doubt the reason I am here doing what I do, I think of that moment.

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