Guided to Do Out of Love

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Finally a place I can freely express what I experience. I have been holding this back for 36 years. I was told not too by my angel, (but some day I could). I think this is that day. I don't remember the exact day but it was summer of 1980 in Porto Alegre Brazil. I was playing soccer with friends on a field near my house when I heard my father calling me to go fishing. I remember that I didn't want to go because I was having a good time and I didn't like fishing. I had no choice but to go.

My two brothers age nine and ten also went and I remember everyone was happy. Seeing how happy they were, I began to feel happy too. I don't remember details how we got there. I remember being bored and hungry. Then my brothers and I asked my dad if we could take a walk. At first he said no. After begging him for a while he said okay but "Don't go in the water because the water was too fast." This is a river that runs from the west to the east toward the ocean in southern Brazil.

My brothers and I went walking, heading west of the river looking for stuff to do. We came across this big bush that was half on land and half on water. My oldest brother said that we could hold on to the bush to get to the other side. My brother age nine went first. I was last. We were half way when he lost his grip. I will never forget the expression on his face; it was pure terror. I remember the river being fast that day. My older brother age 10 went after him and I did too. I don't know why we did that since we didn't know how to swim. I remember thinking if we die, we die together.

The next thing I remember is dying. I couldn't breathe or see anything. I tried to breath but the water was going in and not air, and I knew then that I was going to die. I remember this incredible pain, things on the river were hitting my body and they really hurt. My body was moving fast and I was sinking just as fast. That feeling of terror will never leave me. Back then my mother used to take me to church all the time and I remembered God. I asked him to help me. It was like he was inside me and I was him. After I said, "Help me." I felt his arms around me and he said, "Relax everything is going to be okay." I could hear this and my body like it was everywhere. Initially I felt no pain and I could breathe again. I never felt so happy in my entire life. I knew this being was an angel and not God himself. My angel and I were like flying toward this really bright light. The light was getting closer and then and in a second it just engulfed us.

It was thousands of times brighter than the sun and yet my eyes did not hurt. Some how I knew I was home. This light itself had a real feeling of love, like it was alive. I felt this love in my being (very hard to explain). Then, the angel said that he had to go. I didn't feel alone because this light was still there; after a second or two another angel came toward me. I couldn't see him perfectly but he was tall and beautiful, I never saw a man that beautiful in my life. I asked him who he was and he told me that he was my guide. I was in love with him and everything I knew as a boy. I asked him, "Am I dead?" Speaking to my mind he said, "You never die."  I didn't understand and I asked him, "What do you mean I never die?" He said, "You never die." and soon I will understand everything. Then he said two words and I got this jolt of joy. The words were like a package of knowledge. I could understand everything and I mean everything.

Then I started to see this movie of my life. I somehow knew I was being judged or something and I remember thinking, "How bad can this be I'm only eight years old?" I was wrong. He was showing me things with a lovely smile. I knew I was in trouble. He showed me the time I scratched my neighbor's car with a key; I could feel how bad this man felt. I was thinking, how many points for that bad thing. My angel knew what I was thinking and said, "Don't worry, that was just a lesson." He then told me, "It's the things that I do out of love that count.

My life was going backward. I remember being inside my mother and then I was this pure light. I was part of everything and everything was part of me. I had this feeling that I was not who I thought I was. Then I felt my mother's pain when she heard the news about loosing her three sons. That was when I started to remember my life as a human being. I stared to remember my beautiful life, the little things like drinking, eating, breathing oxygen, and earth's beauty. I told my angel that I want to go back to earth. He just smiled and told me that my mission was not done. (I still don't know what my mission is.) I told him, "This is beautiful and all but I want to go back." I even forgot about my brothers. My angel told me to forget everything and not to tell anyone.

The next thing I know this tall, beautiful man with dark skin is carrying me out of the water. It was then that I realized he was the one that saved me and took me to what I think was heaven and home. The first thing I saw when I became human again was the beautiful blue sky. The sun was shining brightly. Then I looked to my right and saw my brothers. They had this look of wonder and I knew in my heart they went home too.

This woman ran up to us saying that the police and divers were looking for us two miles down the river. I saw about 2,000 people looking at us clapping, crying, and hugging each other. In about three minutes a police officer showed up. He saw us walking and said, "These are not the boys we are looking for because they couldn't have survived 22 minutes under water." I didn't say anything. We walked to where my father and went home.

It was great. I came back. I remember being mute for a while. My mouth was moving but no sound. I looked up and said, "I promise I won't say anything." I got my voice back in about two seconds. I have a stutter that I didn't have before. I don't care, I'm back, and I know we have another life waiting for us.

For the first time on Christmas Day 2007, I asked my brothers what happened to them. They said the same thing. I can go on and on about it, but I'm still a little scared to talk about it. I was told not too. But, I'll tell you one thing, that world is more real than this one and one day we will be together and glowing as one.

Last Updated ( Friday, 29 August 2008 09:48 )

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