A severe head-on collision took three lives. I was in the front passenger's seat asleep but awoke to our vehicle lunging out of its lane. I watched the driver, a dear friend of mine for 25 years, frantically attempt to recover the vehicle amid utter shock from the lunge. Headlights wrapped around a corner at speed to face us. With an engineering background, it was clear to me that there would be four bodies in the end.
I watched my friend brace straight out instinctively. I knew one of us had to survive so our project experiences wouldn't die. I was in the worst seat. I considered telling my friend to just cross his arms but realized there wasn't time to interpret words and react. I put my left arm out to guard him from the impact that was about three seconds after the vehicle's lunge. My body twisted violently to the left, breaking my left femur. Then the right side of my knees wedged against the dash to break my left femur again. Simultaneously, at the moment immediately prior to my knees reaching the dash, the rear seat passenger squarely hit my left shoulder. My body came over the dash to break the left forearm. My head and left hand met against the dash with the seatbelt.
At that moment my spirit flung out of my body, landing like a child at the chest of a much larger being. Without any hesitation I said, with a loud, deep voice and mixed tone of commitment/reason/plea, "I'm not xxx done yet." A second conscious/third being looked on in utter disbelief as if I said to myself, "Who do you think you are staying with this being and not returning to your mangled body?"
There was no light, just a dark setting and no pain. A physical spirit--as if in my own body--renewed and I felt the landing against this other spirit physically. I pushed away from the larger-than-life spirit and by doing so must have moved my actual arms outward simultaneously. Once back in my body, I had enough time to realize the airbag didn't go off yet. Then it blew into my face, picked me up like a rag doll by the head and tossed me up to the roof to crack the back of my head open before my body finally came to a rest. Given my twice broken femur, it would have been better to listen to versus speak with first responders. However, if I wasn't able to direct them how to lift me out of that car, which was apparently on fire at this point, my muscles would have been torn and my left leg amputated.
The project experience/future commitment was expressed clearly even through my demanding words. It was as if actual reason behind those words were presented in conscious objectively either by my own standard of thought and/or knowing you don't speak like that to such a spirit without instantaneous backup. I knew immediately that was just the opening scene to a very trying period of time, which is still being experienced and getting worse.
I have been doing everything I can and though I should fret financially due to a leap into business, this oddly calming aura is over me. It's surprisingly neutral in a sense. That doesn't mean I appreciate it. I have felt like a string doll at times. A series of events have been out of my control. It is what it is and I continue to serve my commitment almost selflessly.
In my life, I've had approximately 10 life-threatening experiences, three of which I saw other's reactions (faces of death) to my imminent death. Yet I walk away unscathed. All of these experiences were not in my control. In 1993, I had a dream about my own death by a point-blank gunshot wound to the chest. The moment my body hit the ground, I was in my own spirit rising above the scene with the same sensation I experienced on June 11, 2006 when my head hit the car dash. I'm starting to notice my life's strange events, but it doesn't change anything as I approach issues objectively given my instilled nature. Still, looking at myself from the side of questioning, "Who do you think you are?" I've tried to talk myself out of a project with no luck due to my commitment from the night of the accident.
Beyond, there is more than a light and loving figures. We don't "define" our own lives but rather accept a series of challenges. A strong, objective spiritual presence/interaction is a part of our lives beyond our awareness.
Last Updated ( Saturday, 22 December 2007 15:28 )