Quiet and Clarity


Following a serious roll-over car accident where I was crushed in a vehicle, I remember leaving the scene - moving up a dark tunnel - being pulled slowly by my shoulders. After what seemed like only a few minutes, I stood suspended in front of two forms of light. The main brighest light form addressed me mentally, saying ... "It's not your time yet - you have to go back." Before I heard this, I had been examining my hands and arms, which were a translucent light blue. I still looked normal, but without actual body mass. I had some sense that I was not alive, but it wasn't entirely clear.

As soon as I acknowledged what the light form was saying, I was pulled backward down the black tunnel with great speed and noise. It was extremely unpleasant. My arms and legs pointed straight in front of me as I was "sucked" back in the direction I came. I never saw anything else except the beings, the tunnel, and my see-through arms and hands.

When I woke up, I was hanging upside down inside the crushed vehicle, still in a seatbelt; the engine was screaming. It was unbearable. I managed to get out of the belt, and snaked my way through a small crushed window. Then I crawled up onto the road embankment to lay down. I couldn't breathe. I later found out that my neck and several ribs were broken, and my face and arms were cut from crawling through a barbed wire fence. The car had flipped three times side over side, and my head had been struck from behind by the crushed roof on it's last impact. The steering wheel broke my ribs.

I didn't want to remain alive, because the place I went to was an environment of such quiet and clarity. As the pain of my injuries became apparent, I kept saying to the emergency people ... "It's alright, you don't have to work at this, I would much rather let go. I know I'll be alright."

Doctors say I suffered a bad head and neck trauma, which is true, but there are no effective words to describe the amazing "all-knowing" environment I was briefly a part of. It's not just the instant thought process that doesn't have to rely on hearing or voice, it's the feelings of going along with it: peace, understanding, acceptance. While I'm afraid of the method of death (pain level), I'm not afraid of actual death because it's a shedding of one existence directly into another more spiritually based existence.
Last Updated ( Sunday, 16 September 2007 04:00 )

Latest Entries

The Light Felt Wonderful

I had cataracts removed from both eyes and in the months following the operations the glare from sunshine, from television, even from my computer screen was unbearable.  Eventually I decided to use the pain I was suffering as a symbolic statement indicating that I was unable to deal with The Light, so dropping down into a deep meditative state I began a visualization – a sort of waking dream –

Boundary Between Darkness and Light

The anesthesiologist showed me that the line was in a blood vessel and she would have to retry it.  At that moment, I saw my blood pressure drop to 40/20 and I knew what that meant. I felt myself starting to fall over. At the same time I saw a boundary between darkness and light appear.  I started to rise above the dark boundary and go into the light.  The most interesting thing was that I felt no pain.

My Grandmother's Prayers Saved Me

I had a seizure that caused me to code (no pulse or heartbeat).  The nurses called rapid response code and I was once again taken back to the ICU.  When I got to the room with, machines connected to me, is when I started to drift from the world.