At Birth

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My experience happened during childbirth. My baby weighed 4.2 kg. He was in the wrong position during labour and got stuck; he was a forceps delivery. At the moment of his birth when he was pulled from me, I felt that everything was being pulled from me, from my neck down -- my heart, my lungs etc. It was the most terrible feeling. 

At that moment, I found myself in complete darkness and was weightless, floating
disorientated and no longer in any physical pain or discomfort.  I remember thinking clearly, "So this is what it feels like to die". I had the sensation that I had left my body and was floating in deep outer space. I could still hear the voices of those in the Labour room with me (my doctor, midwife and husband) but I couldn't see anything.  I felt that I was being drawn away from them (their voices became fainter and more distant) and being drawn towards something, although I couldn't see what it was. I felt anxious as I didn't know what was happening but I thought I had died during childbirth.

My husband started calling my name over and over again and he wouldn't give up until he got a response from me.  At first his voice was very faint and distant and became louder and louder as I felt the process reverse. I was no longer being pulled away, but was gravitating towards my husband's voice.  I then opened my eyes to see my husband looking at me. I told him about my experience, and asked him what I looked like at that time -- his answer was "terrible, very unwell."  I asked him if my heart had stopped etc.during this time, but it hadn't.  I am not sure to this day whether I experienced a near death experience or whether I was simply passing out due to the extreme trauma I was experiencing.

Last Updated ( Sunday, 26 March 2006 06:37 )

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