Ultimate Peacefulness


I was a nursing student and had been diagnosed with a tumor of the right kidney. Prior to surgery, I had my minister with me and felt a sense of trust in God.

During the surgery, I awakened and saw myself lying below on the operating table. I could see the tops of operating room caps from two doctors who were doing the surgery. It dawned on me that I was the person lying on the table.

Following this realization, I began to move in what I'll call a tunnel through dark space slowly, on an angle, not straight up. I was not happy with this and afraid! As I ascended in this tunnel, it became warmer and I began to relax. As I ascended, I became calmer and began to accept the wisdom of this process. The light became much brighter and there was a warmth and sense of well-being that I can only describe as ultimate peacefulness.

Behind the light I heard a voice that talked to me. I believe I saw my grandmother Susie there. The voice told me that "it's not your time" and that "you'll be there in the end." I was then dismayed that I had to leave. The descent was fast and in the same slanted angle in the tunnel. When I hit bottom it was abrupt and I woke up in severe pain in the recovery room. A female doctor (one that I never saw again in the hospital although I was there three more years as a student) leaned over and said, "it'll be alright."

My mother told me that the doctors came out to talk to her and that they were covered with much of my blood. Years later, a spool of wire worked it's way up under my right rib cage and had to be removed. My conjecture was that something happened as they were suturing me up deep in the abdominal cavity. I was never told anything due to my young age.

I told no one about this experience for many years; actually, not until I read about similar incidents and then just with very good friends and family. I had psychic ability to tell when people were going to die -- both in my family and with patients. I predicted the event of my infant son's larygospasm at 11 months (eight years after the NDE) and had a suction machine at the bottom of his crib when it happened.

My personality post NDE is as you describe. I value relationships with people, not just family. I know there is a God. I enjoy life but know it is fleeting.

Thank you for giving me a venue to discuss these events. I remember them as if they were yesterday and feel they have had an impact on my life.  I survived the cancer -- wasn't supposed to -- and the NDE has changed my life to what I feel is the positive.

Last Updated ( Thursday, 25 January 2007 02:05 )

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