Unborn

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I was resting comfortably in bed with my eyes closed. I felt particularly tired and depressed. As I drifted in and out of light sleep, I began to feel unusually light and free. Suddenly, I popped out of my body through my head and began floating above the bed. This experience felt entirely normal to me. But I must say that it took me a few moments to adjust.

When I became comfortable enough, my spiritual body entered head first through a long tunnel which materialized out of nowhere. At first this was extremely frightening to experience, but after a few moments of zinging through the tunnel my essence began to speed up and become more in harmony with the shape and size of the tunnel. My spiritual body then began to collapse into a tiny ball of light. As I continued to decrease in size, my awareness expanded.

I became faintly aware of other spiritual beings zipping and zinging along the tunnel with me. Some were going in my direction, while others headed the other way. Still other beings just stayed nearly stationary. I could sense feelings of intense bewilderment and confusion emanting from deep within their spiritual core.

I had no sense of time. Time did not exist. The only thing which existed with certainty was the tunnel, me, other spiritual beings and a very distinct pin point of light in the far distance. As I raced towards it, the light grew in size. The closer I got to it, the better I felt.

Finally, after what seemed like eons in earthly time, I reached the end of the tunnel and entered into a vast and brilliant field of light. By field I mean energy field. It was like walking on the surface of the sun but without the intense heat.

The light encompassed everything. It was everything! If you can imagine nothingness, but without the darkness of the tunnel, then the light was the nothingness of everything (it was actually and paradoxically both -- very hard to explain here).

My initial reaction to the light was absolute fear. Where was I? Was this a dream? No, it could not have been a dream. The light immediately sensed my fear and calmed me down. It was like flipping a switch, really. One moment I felt intense fear, and then milliseconds later I was instantly filled with immense love, happiness and joy. Perhaps the light altered my vibrationary pattern. Perhaps my spiritual core was out of alignment (like a disk drive). Whatever the light did to calm me down, it worked.

Instantly, the light and I began exchanging thoughts, feelings, emotions and knowledge. Telepathy is the best word I have for the experience, but even that is not adequate enough to best describe the experience. If you can imagine two computers swapping data instantaneously, then you've just come a bit closer to understanding what I experienced while in the light.

The light asked me a distinct question. The question was: "What have you done with your life?" I thought the question a tad odd, so I asked a question in return: "Why am I here? Who are you?"

The light responded: "The question is not who am I, but who are YOU?" Before I could reply, a series of images and experiences flashed across my vision. This was (by analogy) like a projector displaying images on a flat screen. There were two distinct differences, however. The first difference was that the images were non-sequential (e.g. they were not in any specific order). The second difference was that I could feel, think, see, hear and experience the emotions, thoughts, feelings and experiences of everyone I had ever come in either direct or non-direct contact with.

If you can imagine a series of Dominos cascading downward like water down staggered steps, then this was the experience of being other people and experiencing both the intended and unintended effects of my contact with them. This was not in any way, shape or form a pleasant experience. I saw a multitude of opportunities to help people and be loving and kind, but in most instances I chose to ignore these opportunities and instead focus solely on myself. This was very unsettling to say the least.

All throughout this review process, however, the only entity which judged me was myself. The light did not interject any judgement for or against my earthly actions (or inactions). The only thing the light did was pause some scenes and ask me what I thought about my actions.

According to the light, the most extraordinary moments of life are not framed by money, work, drugs, alcohol, possessions or self-gratifying behaviors. Indeed, what we consider trivial actions are highlighted as the most significant of our lives.

In one scene, for example, I was six or seven years old and had noticed a stray cat hiding under my dad's car in Show Low, Arizona (we had rented a cabin for the summer while he worked as a golf course architect). The cat was obviously a stray, for it did not approach me; quite the contrary, it almost ran off when I approached it. I spent a few moments deciding whether or not to feed it. Finally, I went into the cabin and procured a few slices of beef bologna. I tore them off in small pieces so that the cat could easily chew them.

Mindful that the cat would not approach me without special effort, I laid down the pieces of bologna in a small trail leading up to the cabin. Gradually, the obviously hungry cat ate each and every piece until it had reached the steps of the cabin from the car. I managed to pet it a few times before it became spooked by a loud noise and jetted off towards the safety of the car again.

A few days later I was bored and went outside to see if the cat was still around. Sure enough, it was under the car yet again. I again went into the house and brought some bologna from the kitchen. This time, however, I didn't have to arrange the bologna in a small trail towards the cabin. The cat approached me without prompting and ate the bologna from my hand.

It is worth noting that we eventually adopted the cat and named her Birdy. She gave birth to two kittens, both of whom we also adopted. We named the cats Smokey and Patches. Smokey had all black fur and very pretty eyes. Patches had white fur and gray patches around and about her body.

Sadly, Birdy became lost a year or so later and was presumed eaten by coyotes near Silver Creek Golf Course (in Show Low, AZ). We eventually gave  Patches away to a family. Smokey was the only cat we kept. She passed away in the mid-1990s.

The light showed me that every trivial event has actual meaning, and that everything happens for a reason. That there are karmic reasons for both the good and the bad. And that we are all connected.

After I reviewed my short life, the light then asked me if I wanted to progress further into the light and end my earthly experience. My initial reaction was to continue on, for I was deeply depressed and had never had so much as a girlfriend.

The light then showed me events in the near future. I was shown my unborn daughter as she played in a field near a large tree. She seemed to be playing with a dog of unknown origin. I presumed the dog to be either a wolf or some kind of Alaskan breed like a Malamute or a Husky. Both the dog and my daughter appeared to know each other well.

A strong thought then entered into my consciousness (to the effect of): "If you continue on into the light, your daughter will never be born to you, and she will not have the experience of earthly life." This was a hard burden to consider for any length of time, much less a moment, and so I agreed to go back to earth so that my daughter could be born and experience the world as a soul in a physical body.

I sometimes see my unborn daughter accompanied with an angel I have named Susan. Susan first appeared to me in Flagstaff, Arizona in 1995 while I was attending Northern Arizona University. She said that she was watching over me here and that "normally I am watching you from above." Since 1995, I have experienced no less than eight angel visitations, ghostly encounters, dreams and NDE/OBE-like experiences. I am presently experimenting with Electronic Voice Phenomenon (EVP) to capture the voices of the deceased on traditional mylar tape recording media.

When my grandmother passed away in 2002, I was still in Flagstaff, Arizona and engaged to be married. On the evening of her passing, July 24, I walked out of my apartment complex and towards the front office. As I approached the office, however, a very large, white Alaskan Malamute stood in a grassy section of the apartment complex (near a wooden fence and some large rocks).

The dog had light blue eyes and a nearly pure, white coat. Only the back was slightly gray. The tail was long, curved like a scorpion stinger and plume-like. From toe to head, the dog stood approximately four feet. It stared intently at me as I walked by, then suddenly reared up like a horse (as if recognizing me). The dog, which lacked a tag or other identifying mark, suddenly pinned her ears back and raced towards me.

I thought the dog was going to bite me, so I quickened my pace. But it simply sniffed my hand and raced around the corner, swift as the wind. I turned the corner near the office to check for the dog, but it was gone. I saw a man checking his mail and so I asked him where the dog went. He motioned around the other corner. I then proceeded to check the entire complex for half an hour, but saw no trace of the mysterious dog whatsoever.

But a few days later, it dawned on me who that dog was. It was the exact same dog that I had seen playing in a field with my unborn daughter several years before! This so-called spirit dog was analogous to some Native American belief systems in the Happy Hunting Ground. Perhaps it was a spiritual guardian. Or perhaps it was a spiritual guide taking on the appearance of an animal. A third possibility was that it was my maternal grandmother assuming the role of the dog which accompanied my unborn daughter in the spiritual realm. Whatever the dog was, it was not of this earth.

Since my NDE in 1997, I have experienced unusual sensations such as light sensitivity, the perception of other spiritual entities (including angels and/or ghosts), increased psychic ability (e.g. clairvoyance), additional OBE experiences and in one instance a phone call that was barely audible yet repeated my name over and over again before the line conked out.
Last Updated ( Sunday, 26 March 2006 06:14 )

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